I’m pretty liberal with the upvotes. I like to encourage people to participate and an upvote feels like saying “hey I see you and thanks for sharing.” I regularly upvote things I don’t like or don’t agree with, if they are shared in good faith and contribute to the conversation.
Downvotes are for bigots and misinformation/disinformation/lies.
Do I trust that vanilla Lemmy code doesn’t contain something nefarious, such as code that detects political positions it doesn’t like and reduces their visibility? Sure. It would be hard to hide something like that.
Do I trust that major servers aren’t secretly running software that manipulates content? Mostly yes. I think it would get noticed since there are lots of vanilla servers to compare behavior to.
Do I trust that all the software is well-designed and bug-free? I write software for a living. No software is bug-free and most of it isn’t well-designed.
Do I trust that everyone who runs a fediverse server isn’t an asshole? Absolutely not. Any jackass can run a server. I run a Mastodon server (on which all users are me).
They can be my really close friends or family and ask me for an account, which I would actively discourage (join something well-run like .world) but eventually allow if they really wanted to.
I’m mostly a fan, because I don’t feel like I have to have faith.
If my instance explodes, I’ll make an account on another instance. If the Lemmy devs collectively evaporate (and neither me nor others want to pick up the slack), then I can go to Mastodon or Kbin or whatever.
Individual rogue instances can be defederated. If e.g. Reddit truely disappears over night and Lemmy were to gain mass market appeal, then I can likely find a more isolated instance with a smaller community sharing my interests.
Fucking wojacks. Disappearance of this cancer will bring significant benefit to me specifically because I wouldn’t have to endure those ugly drawings. Fucking trollface was better than this hell.
I am willing to sacrifice all five funny memes you are talking about, if it means I will not have to look at all the “I depicted you as this ugly undesirable wojak saying stupid things therefore I won” bullshit ever again.
Rage comics were better and were actually a modern form of Commedia dell’arte or Masked Theatre, in such that it used stock characters and so plot could be both meaningful but simple. Wojacks lack implied character and context, so story or character depth requires explanation which doesn’t usually work as well with that form
Generally, it’s based on appropriateness to the C/, effort, and usefulness.
There are exceptions, though there aren’t any on C/s that I actually use. But there might be eventually, there were on reddit.
If something doesn’t fit the C/, that’s a down vote if I notice it.
If something is horribly low effort, even if it’s in the right place, that’ll be a down vote.
Upvotes, it tends to be because something was appropriate to the C/, and/or someone put some work in. But, even a low effort post/comment can get an up vote if it’s personally useful.
I used to up vote anything and everything that was on topic, but lemmy has gotten busy enough that I tend to only vote at all if I interact with the post in some way. So, like a title that indicates the post isn’t something that will interest me, I just scroll past because there’s just so much stuff now. But, I scroll All, and sort by new by default, so I end up scrolling past stuff that isn’t in my subscription list. If I only scrolled through subscribed stuff, I’d probably end up voting the same amount, but voting on everything I saw, if that makes sense.
I upvote any reply to anything I say and everything I reply to as a way of remembering where I’ve engaged. The only exceptions are things with clear perspective-lacking malice.
Back when me and my wife started dating, it was a long distance relationship and we agreed that it’s OK if we see other people too. Neither of us did, but I feel like “expanding relationship” should only happen when your primary deal is in healthy state and not to try fix issues in it by dating someone else.
Yeah the way I like to describe that is that nonmonogamy can solve relationship problems but only the ones caused by needing nonmonogamy. Alternatively learning poly philosophies has done wonders for some monogamous people I know. They may not get compersion from a partner seeing someone else, but they do have the words to recognize and appreciate the happiness of being a loved one’s joy. And they communicate great too.
My wife and I talked about it a lot before deciding we were both cool with the other having safe and responsible adventures. In over a decade it has never caused us any grief. Communication is essential and if your relationship isn’t “stable” IMO it suggests a real communication problem - adding unrelated complications to the dynamic will never solve those.
Personally I’ve only heard of very sad stories. Two out of three at best as you said, when not even one out of three. Of course, statistically it must work for someone. Call yourself lucky. :)
I’ve never seen a healthy poly relationship and I’ve seen many but I still think that it could work given the right circumstances. People already suck at handling a single relationship so statistically handling more is just significantly more difficult not to mention all the externals like community and society as whole.
People already suck at handling a single relationship so statistically handling more is just significantly more difficult
I guess that’s a fair point. My wife and I were the stable thing in each other’s lives for years before this started. We have a love that can’t be stopped and have navigated more together than most couples ever will. Neither of us would have considered a second partner if we thought it could have weakened our foundational relationship. That is what has freed us to have these experiences.
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