calypsopub, 1 year ago

Surprisingly (to me), having a child. I never wanted kids. Never even babysat, didn’t like them-- hated how silly, loud, and disgusting they are. Then I got pregnant by accident. I was terrified. I was abused as a child and have a bad temper, so I was afraid I would lose it and hurt my kid. Pregnancy was difficult, labor and delivery moreso, but the instant he popped out … I cannot describe to you the transformation. I am sure it is purely hormonal; pitocin is a helluva drug. My husband even said, “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” It was akin to a lobotomy. Suddenly I adored babies and wanted to hold them and coo at them. I became more mellow and patient, went from the sort of conservative mindset that thinks “get a job,” to the theretofore incomprehensible liberal views like “most in jail aren’t really to blame for the circumstances they find themselves in, let’s help them instead of punish them.”

My son is by far the biggest blessing in my life. He is a companion that I never grow tired of, a wise sounding board, and a balm to my old age. I am literally a kinder, better person because I had him.