After a lifetime against, I'm considering joining social media. Any advice?

I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

M_____l,

Ummm isn’t this a post on Lemmy? Aren’t you already using social media then?

Katrisia,

If you really need to, I’d recommend social media within the Fediverse.

First, a Mastodon account with your real name, photo and a small bio. Post your thoughts or quotes or whatever; repost memes, art, etc. Leave an option for people to send you messages, with whatever privacy you see fitting. In case you worry about it, Mastodon is a known alternative to Twitter, and Twitter is very toxic nowadays, so people will find it reasonable that you have a Mastodon account instead.

There’s also Pixelfed, if you like photos. It is an alternative to Instagram. If you have a hobby, post often about it. I don’t know, cooking, skating, painting… Anyway, make it a beautiful gallery of your life and fewer people will question why Pixelfed and not Instagram. You can always excuse yourself saying you don’t like so many business accounts on Instagram or whatever excuse, and that you like to give new things a try.

Finally, a WordPress or Plume or WriteFreely blog may be a great opportunity to write and share your ideas. It is kind of retro to have a blog, I guess, but it is a good way for people to get to know you better. You may even find something you’re passionate about and create a community. Some people start with two or three pieces of advice about something (like gardening) and end up with a blog full of useful articles and a community that follows them. Blogs usually have an option for private e-mails and a redirection to other social media, so you can have your Mastodon and/or Pixelfed account attached.

Why the Fediverse? You don’t sell your soul to corporations, you help it grow, you get a better community.

But give it a second thought, though. Having a social media profile can be exhausting. I personally obsess over it being a good reflection of who I am, respectful in the things I say, with beautiful images, with colors and themes that reflect my personality, with enough of my real self so that people know me but not enough that they cringe or judge me negatively. My objectives (and perfectionism) make it chaotic after a while, and the profile gets more and more inauthentic. That’s why I don’t have any at the moment. It can also bring some social drama, so, yeah, ponder the pros and cons.

gravitas_deficiency,

You’re on social media right now. You know that, right?

brb,

You know what they mean. No need to be a smartass about it

A_Random_Idiot, (edited )

Forums are not social media. God I am so tired of this disingenuous, and intercontinentally stretched argument.

“Hur hurr rhurrrrr U TLAK 2 PEPUL HARE TAT MEN U SOSHUL TAT MEN DIS SOSHUL MEDEEUH”

Social media is a very specific thing, relating to things like Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/TikTok/Etc.

Forums, like Lemmy, are not social media. Just because you interact with people on something doesnt make it social media, trying to stretch the definition to that regard makes everything from clay tablets, to semaphore, to IRC to email social media.

ricdeh,
@ricdeh@lemmy.world avatar

Please don’t.

cashews_best_nut,

I used to have Facebook. Dabbled with Instagram and Twitter. Don’t use any of them now. Feel 10x better.

AbsoluteChicagoDog,

Why do people feel the need to brag about how they don’t use social media?

A_Random_Idiot,

Don’t.

Thats the only advice you need.

cation,

“The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up.”

That’s not a problem, that’s a privilege very few people get to enjoy. Fuсk social media and fuсk Facebook in particular.

hemko,

Yep, that is something I’ve tried to achieve for years… I’m jealous for you OP

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