After a lifetime against, I'm considering joining social media. Any advice?

I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

cation,

“The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up.”

That’s not a problem, that’s a privilege very few people get to enjoy. Fuсk social media and fuсk Facebook in particular.

hemko,

Yep, that is something I’ve tried to achieve for years… I’m jealous for you OP

A_Random_Idiot,

Don’t.

Thats the only advice you need.

AbsoluteChicagoDog,

Why do people feel the need to brag about how they don’t use social media?

cashews_best_nut,

I used to have Facebook. Dabbled with Instagram and Twitter. Don’t use any of them now. Feel 10x better.

ricdeh,
@ricdeh@lemmy.world avatar

Please don’t.

gravitas_deficiency,

You’re on social media right now. You know that, right?

brb,

You know what they mean. No need to be a smartass about it

A_Random_Idiot, (edited )

Forums are not social media. God I am so tired of this disingenuous, and intercontinentally stretched argument.

“Hur hurr rhurrrrr U TLAK 2 PEPUL HARE TAT MEN U SOSHUL TAT MEN DIS SOSHUL MEDEEUH”

Social media is a very specific thing, relating to things like Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/TikTok/Etc.

Forums, like Lemmy, are not social media. Just because you interact with people on something doesnt make it social media, trying to stretch the definition to that regard makes everything from clay tablets, to semaphore, to IRC to email social media.

Katrisia,

If you really need to, I’d recommend social media within the Fediverse.

First, a Mastodon account with your real name, photo and a small bio. Post your thoughts or quotes or whatever; repost memes, art, etc. Leave an option for people to send you messages, with whatever privacy you see fitting. In case you worry about it, Mastodon is a known alternative to Twitter, and Twitter is very toxic nowadays, so people will find it reasonable that you have a Mastodon account instead.

There’s also Pixelfed, if you like photos. It is an alternative to Instagram. If you have a hobby, post often about it. I don’t know, cooking, skating, painting… Anyway, make it a beautiful gallery of your life and fewer people will question why Pixelfed and not Instagram. You can always excuse yourself saying you don’t like so many business accounts on Instagram or whatever excuse, and that you like to give new things a try.

Finally, a WordPress or Plume or WriteFreely blog may be a great opportunity to write and share your ideas. It is kind of retro to have a blog, I guess, but it is a good way for people to get to know you better. You may even find something you’re passionate about and create a community. Some people start with two or three pieces of advice about something (like gardening) and end up with a blog full of useful articles and a community that follows them. Blogs usually have an option for private e-mails and a redirection to other social media, so you can have your Mastodon and/or Pixelfed account attached.

Why the Fediverse? You don’t sell your soul to corporations, you help it grow, you get a better community.

But give it a second thought, though. Having a social media profile can be exhausting. I personally obsess over it being a good reflection of who I am, respectful in the things I say, with beautiful images, with colors and themes that reflect my personality, with enough of my real self so that people know me but not enough that they cringe or judge me negatively. My objectives (and perfectionism) make it chaotic after a while, and the profile gets more and more inauthentic. That’s why I don’t have any at the moment. It can also bring some social drama, so, yeah, ponder the pros and cons.

M_____l,

Ummm isn’t this a post on Lemmy? Aren’t you already using social media then?

olafurp,

My advice is to cancel joining.

vernknitsthings,
@vernknitsthings@midwest.social avatar

I keep my Linkedin updated, but Linkedin is BS. I hate it. Facebook I only keep for shitposting and because it’s the way my husband’s family keeps in touch (my husband deleted his FB years ago). Facebook is not great. Would not recommend. Honestly, most social media websites are shit and I could not recommend. Lemmy is kind of social media, and this is okay. I liked reddit too, back when I used it.

OceanSoap, (edited )

My guess is it’s because potential matches ask.

As a woman, I don’t find it weird, but I do find it unfortunate. It’s an easy, quick way to get a better understanding on if you’re who you say you are. Sure, it can be faked, but… that’s more rare, and mostly easily sussed out.

I like seeing Instagram personally. Not to follow, just as a good check. But if you don’t want insta, I’d suggest pixelfed. It’s not a part of meta and it functions as an instagram.

stackPeek,
@stackPeek@lemmy.world avatar

It’s better if you filter out and moderate the usage. Just because social media it’s bad doesn’t mean there’s no good part.

Seasoned_Greetings, (edited )

I know you’ve probably heard this about a dozen times by now, but…

Don’t join Facebook.

They track everything they can about you, down to how long you spend looking at something on your screen. I’m fairly certain they listen to what’s going on around you if you put the app on your phone. An ad for something I’ve mentioned in passing has popped up on my feed shortly later too many times to be a coincidence.

They follow you around on your browser, too. They know what you shop for. It’s all specially tailored to sell you their ads.

I keep an account to stay in touch with my family, and it’s appalling how much more information they get from you than any other app. Not to mention the heavy prevalence of MAGA hats and I’ll-kill-you-before-I-consider-your-opinion conservatives.

Instagram isn’t much better, but at least the people there are nicer.

pHr34kY, (edited )

The spying is horrendous. Even after taking so many measures, I still swear I’m eavesdropped occasionally. Ad blockers, private DNS, Firefox containers, GrapheneOS on my phone (I only install messenger, not the Facebook app). I don’t use Facebook on Windows.

I wouldn’t be surprised if other people’s devices are collecting info about me. I have no control over that.

Unfortunately it’s at a point that I won’t get invited to parties without it. It’s how my friends all organise events.

sbv,

It sounds like Facebook tracks non-registered users as well, so everything you’re saying remains true for everyone who doesn’t have a pretty strong security posture.

If OP isn’t blocking third party cookies, FB scripts, and piholing unwanted requests, they might as well join the platform and get the tenuous benefits it provides.

victorz,

LinkedIn is pretty good, for finding work. I’ve gotten a lot of offers there. Ultimately never took any of them, ironically, but worth the time to set up a good profile.

If you’re thinking of joining Facebook… Don’t. It’s not worth it. Tell people you have something else and give them that info. Like your phone number or your email or your WhatsApp/telegram/whatever.

I hate how I have Facebook and am so dependent on it. I wish I could tell people I don’t have it.

init,

I’m seconding the “no Facebook” thing, and I’d add “no Meta-Owned anything”. Facebook is constantly showing me conspiracy flat earth shit with people honest to god arguing about it, and everyone in other posts strangely all comment the same thing or early similar things to the point that I’ve checked peoples accounts out to see if they are bots or not. Instagram isn’t much better, and a LOT of it is basically soft-core attention seeking influencers. Threads… Isn’t giving anything better than what Mastodon offers.

I swear. One of these days I will pull the plug.

victorz,

[Palpatine: Do it.]

I haven’t scrolled Facebook in over a decade I think. But nobody interesting posts on Facebook in my feed so I’m not too bothered. Instagram is good to me. Giving me only like comics and skits and stuff from people I follow, and things similar to what I enjoyed before like certain sports etc. I’d gladly jump Facebook if I could find my friends elsewhere. I wish Messenger wasn’t connected to a Facebook account. 😞

iamjackflack,

Don’t. Stick to your guns. You will be better off

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