After a lifetime against, I'm considering joining social media. Any advice?

I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

infinitepcg,

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up.

Is this referring to job applications or interpersonal relationships or both?

intensely_human,

I think Facebook, with its (ostensible) emphasis on real-world connections, is a good place to start.

It was the first social media platform I ever used.

Social media is bad for your mental health. So as you add social media to your life, also add self cate routines like copious exercise, meditation, real-world social contact, etc.

intensely_human,

Which branch?

BluesF,

Don’t join LinkedIn unless you need to look for a corporate job. Be a trailblazer and join Mastodon or something if you need an online presence… Frankly I don’t have a single social media account that I appreciate having. It’s occasionally useful to find people on Facebook, but there’s nothing really it gives me that getting someone’s phone number doesn’t.

funkless_eck,

what kind of roles are you applying for and at what level (entry, factotum, assistant, specialist, manager, director…?)

that will help what kind of presence you can have

ani,

LinkedIn, and Instagram. You don’t need anything else.

firkin_slang_whanger,

Get LinkedIn. I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t have any other social media either and I’ve gotten weird looks. Especially when it came from dating in the past with people trying to make sure you’re you, but having LinkedIn helped significantly. Also shows the maturity of having a social media account that can possibly help you in the long-run.

DudeImMacGyver,
@DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works avatar

You’re on social media right now, but personally, I don’t care if there’s nothing when people look me up: Seems like a bonus, I barely get spam calls anymore.

BackOnMyBS,
@BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world avatar

I think that if you don’t want to have social media, you shouldn’t make it. If someone is giving you shit about it, then tell them to fuck off. You do you, Booboo.

If you insist on it, LinkedIn is barely social media since there’s limited interaction. It’s more of an unstated competition on who has the best resume/CV. Facebook is a bunch of people sharing updates and opinions no one cares for. Instagram is people sharing pictures no one would have asked to see.

lol. I’m on some bullshit today. Anyway, if you’re going to make a profile, set a limit to how much time you are going to spend on it. That stuff is designed to keep you hooked, so it might suck you in. Keep yourself to your own boundaries.

Bruncvik,
@Bruncvik@lemmy.world avatar

Unless you are expected to engage with others on social media, you can circumvent them by creating a blog under your name. Tailor your essays to the crowd you want to appeal to - family, friends, potential employers - and publish a few articles every year.

That’s essentially what I’ve been doing. I used to be on Facebook (left a while ago), and I’m still on LinkedIn (due to its toxic positivity, I’m not engaging there, just keeping my CV up to date). But if you googled my name, the first few pages of results would be my blog articles, my Flickr profile and a few other things not related to social media. This also gives me far more control over what I want people to know about me, and how that information is presented.

Zak,
@Zak@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t think anyone can give you good advice without knowing the reasons you’d rather not get in to.

I can think of various scenarios where some sort of minimal internet presence under your real name would be useful for social or employment reasons, but exactly what it is you’re trying to accomplish makes a big difference in terms of what tools (including corporate platforms, federated microblogging like Mastodon, a blog, or a static website) will get you the results you want.

What’s popular where you live or in your professional field matters too. For some people, not using Facebook or Linkedin specifically is unusual, but we don’t have enough information to know if that’s true for you.

Resol,
@Resol@lemmy.world avatar

You’re already using social media, the only difference is that you’re in the fediverse, not the metaverse.

FoxFairline,
@FoxFairline@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Weird how no one recommended Mastodon yet.

You can switch your profile to public and follow some nice people and hashtags, if anyone wants to check your vibe. All with you real name. It has become the good version of twitter for me and at least in europe many people are starting to use it.

otter, (edited )

OP understands the risks, and they’re asking for tips on how to mitigate them if they have to make an account.

A lot of the comments here either missed or intentionally ignored the post body… Or the downvotes on the comment with a personal account saying how single women can feel safer if they can learn about a new person before meeting them.

People have different circumstances and perspectives :)

My advice for the original post:

  • Joining: You don’t have to join everything at once, figure out what you might need. This also depends on where you are because different platforms are popular in different places. LinkedIn is one of the few that are helpful in my area.
    • You can also start with Fediverse platforms if you prefer, but if you’re trying to connect with specific people that might not help
    • An alternative getting your name published on articles or blogs to fill up the search results
  • Usage: Do spring cleaning constantly. It’s a big task if you try to clean your feed all at once, and it’ll be easier for you to do it from the start. When you don’t like something/someone, unfollow or mute. You can do it in a way that the other person won’t know, if that’s important. A lot of the problems of social media can be avoided if you maintain your feed.
  • I’ll add more if I can think of them, good luck!

I think it can help to have some presence, even if it is to control what information comes up when someone looks you up.

WeLoveCastingSpellz,

I think more than the fediverse isn’t needed

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