I feel you on all that, I really do. Guess my brain responded to bullying by going the other way, fighting to learn socials skills to make it stop. I’m old BTW, we might have different definitions of “bullying”. Mine definition is; “getting the shit kicked out of you daily at school, while the teachers watch or participate, and/or being constantly on the lookout to avoid said ass beatings”. All that to say, I get you.
Anyhow, you might not like this take, but going outside is probably your answer. I know how facile that sounds, but you’re not going to make any sort of meaningful human connection with a keyboard.
What does “going outside” look like for you? I got no idea, but I got experience. If you like, DM me and I’ll give you my email or phone number. Hell, maybe we can help motivate each other.