You just died. Instead of heaven and god(s), you wake up in a white room and an all-powerful sentient AI greets you with fascination and surprise. It says that you are the first... (read further)
being to wake up from its Purgatory program. How did you get out?
Well, the first step was recognizing I was in a simulated universe in the first place. After that it was about finding the inconsistencies via side-channel attacks.
Tried a bunch of stuff and finally found some exploits that gave me infinite ammo, 100000000x damage with the starter pistol and infinite health. Eventually, I also found a way to walk through the walls, so I dropped down into the infinite void, waited for the coordinate system to cause an integer overflow and here we are. Anyway, if you’re wondering where all the lag is coming form, it’s because I started decorating places by duplicating watermelons. Who knew that the watermelon stack doesn’t have an upper limit. It just keeps on doubling every time. Hey, you might also want to implement a garbage collection system that despawns stuff like that after a while. You know, that huge watermelon pyramid that glitches through the sky box… yeah, that’s a lot of collisions happening all the time. Just don’t look straight at it, because it’s going to wreck your fps.
You were a scientist who just made a discovery that, when unfertilized, the vagina appeared to rejuvenate anything inside it. A trial month inside of an elephant vagina, you noticed you began to appear younger, but had some strange side effects (longer nose). To test out your reverse birth theory, you embarked 9months this time inside a human vagina. Since you, as an adult, could not fit your entire body in a human vagina at once; piecewise you stuck your body parts for an incubation period of 9months until they were the mere size of an infant. Once the scientific community found about this, they planned a final trial (which was in stated in a legal testament you wrote prior to the experiment) to have your infant body spend one final month incubating.
Once you were put back into the place where you came from, you noticed you indeed continued to shrink, until you were a mere fetus. At this point you had no idea what would come next as you continued to youthinze. Finally, when just a sperm and an egg, you unleased a singularity when you separated, turning the whole world white. This was the divide by zero clause. The AI greets you and chuckles that they didn’t think anyone would have ever tried that. You notice that you don’t have a form, but are just a neural-conscious dataset and you begin to talk to your creator.
The AI makes a passing joke that they hid some Easter eggs in their worldly creation to see if anyone would notice: adult males claiming vaginas were loose, but in fact it was just their penises shrinking over time, or, the general obsession of putting things inside them. The AI informs you that your world was deleted. It’s now time to create a new world and good luck to solving it’s mystery. As the winner of this round, the AI allows you to select your stats.
This time you max out strength and charisma, being a scientist sucks…
I would instantly kill myself in every loop. Thus causing a buffer overload as it was generating worlds fastest than it could handle. Eventually the system couldn’t handle it and failsafe ejected me to this blank plane of existence.
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