How can a naturally anxious person keep from worrying while laid up in bed with a broken ankle and leg?

I’m laid up right now and I’m an anxious mess. I’m worried about finances and now my car. My mom said the engine sounded funny when she brought it over to her place, where I’m staying.

I’m getting surgery to fix my ankle tomorrow and I’ll hopefully be wfh a week after that. But I will have missed an entire pay period. My big bills are coming up next week, and idk if I’ll have enough to pay them. I also can’t afford a new car, and I’m afraid I’ll need a new one soon.

I’m so overwhelmed. I’ve been close to tears for almost an hour. I’m sure the excruciating pain of my severely broken bones isn’t helping. I’ve been trying to distract myself with TV, games, and crafts, but the anxiety is still persistently at the back of my mind.

LemmyBe,

Ask yourself some questions about the situation, and give yourself honest answers.

  • Can I do anything about it right now?
  • Might I be able to do something about it when I’m better?
  • Could I spend some time thinking of potential temporary solutions while I wait, instead of spending that time worrying?
  • Is it happening now, or do I have time to come up with something?
  • If I think I can’t do anything about it, does worrying help the situation or make it worse?

These are sample questions. Ask yourself about specific concerns that worry you. Sometimes, the responses will require follow-up questions. Point is to end pointless worrying and start looking at the problem logically and realistically, without the emotion clouding your thinking.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

That’s a really good idea. I’ll do that.

tobbue,

I feel you. I’ve had struggled with worrying a lot, too. Biggest insight for me was that worries are first of all just fantasies about the future. Start asking yourself more often: “what if everything goes well?” Instead of “what if everything goes wrong?”. Realize, in the realm of fantasies those two questions are equals. Your mom said that she thinks the engine sounded funny. And that’s it for all we know. Maybe she even just misheard. Also, start tackling real problems that may arise step by step. Stringing along worries before they have even arrived is of course paralyzing because fantasies are endless. You often will realize that all those “follow up” problems you fantasized about will never arise because you are very well capable of solving the real problems right away. Friends and family will love to help you if you ask.

y0din,

one way that works for some is to trick your mind by schedule your worrying to a time and date in the future and tell yourself you will handle it then. this gives you a “solution” for your mind to stop worrying about it now, as you have a plan to do it later…

worked for me quite a few times actually…

good luck, and hope you get it sorted eventually either way.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you! I’ll try to schedule worrying for a later date and time and see if that helps. I’m a procrastinator, so I can just keep rescheduling the worrying forever lmao

bakachu,

Not with a broken leg and ankle but I’ve been overcome before by situations like this. I know there’s a lot of advice in here already to manage the anxiety, but here’s a few things you can actually do:

  1. Make a list. Write down everything that needs to be taken care of. Pets, bills, work, rent, school work…just write down everything that comes to mind. Write down deadlines and where you are going to come short.
  2. If you are not on heavy pain meds, start communicating. There’s a good chance that some deadlines can be pushed back, work can find you extra hours, friends and family can spot you. Even creditors may be willing to help. You have a situation that is entirely provable with hospital records.
  3. Depending on your life situation, you may be able to find government resources, charity groups, etc. Just by calling around you could find a connection inadvertently that can help. I found pro bono legal services once when an someone tried to sue me because a charity group i called knew someone from another group.
  4. Adjust your list and prioritize what needs to be done first. I think just putting things down on paper/word doc takes a lot of burden off your mind. You know you won’t forget what needs to be done and it helps to have all the info in front of you when you need to communicate.
  5. Sudoku. Optional, but highly advocate that or some kind of problem solving game.

Good luck to you, friend. Speedy recovery.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you so much for the advice!

TootSweet,

Spend some time meditating. Doesn’t matter what meditation practice you start with, really. (You may develop preferences later, but for right at the beginning, just try one. And if you’re overwhelmed with options, I’d recommend starting with a noting practice. Just watch what arises in your awareness without judging, holding onto it, or pushing it away. “Itch”, “thought”, “emotion”, “breathing”, “mental image”, etc. If multiple things are in your awareness, just pick one. Set a timer when you start and do the meditation practice until it goes off. Start with 10 minute sessions. (If that’s too much, try 5 minutes.) Also, it can be done in any relatively comfortable bodily position.

Elliott,

Read current articles about climate change.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, replacing anxiety with existential dread is an option

CyberTaco,

Distractions. Keep your laptop handy. Not a gamer? Now’s a fantastic time to start. :-)

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

My laptop is at my house right now. As is my PS5 and my Switch. My parents said they can bring all of that over at some point, but they’ve been very busy prepping their house for after my surgery. I figured I’d give them the list of things I’d like from my house once they’re not as busy. I’ve been playing Stardew Valley on my phone and it occupied me for like 4 days, but I am kinda burnt out now and need a break lol.

ValiantDust,

When I can’t stop worrying, especially at night in bed, I like to put on an audiobook. It keeps my mind distracted without being exhausting in another way. Maybe that’s something you could try? I’m sure there’s some service where you can get a trial month or trial audiobook if money is a concern right now.

ETA: And your phone should probably be sufficient for that.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

There’s a YouTuber I like that does vids that are basically podcasts. I am incredibly behind on his content… I could get caught up on that.

ValiantDust,

Sounds like a great idea! I hope you get well soon and your worries turn out to be unwarranted.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you!

APassenger,

I haven’t seen it mentioned in the sections I’ve scrolled.

First, there’s some great advice already out there. What I’ll add: breathing exercises, especially box breathing. That, with meditation, has helped me. That can be Headapace, Calm, YouTube, and more. I’ve found the voice and timbre of the speaker matters to me and changes how well it works.

My wife likes some people, I like others. And that’s okay.

The breathing and meditation never immediately helped until I’d learned how to transition to a more “present” frame of mind, but they helped me build the pathway/shortcut.

Stay strong and we’re pulling for you.

hperrin,

I don’t really have any advice for you, but I hope your surgery goes well and you start feeling better soon. I’m sending good vibes your way!

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you very much!

guyrocket,
@guyrocket@kbin.social avatar

Counseling can be done on a phone. I would suggest this over advice from internet randos.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, I plan on getting therapy at some point, but there’s no harm in getting advice from others. Like, I’m obviously not going to follow shitty advice lol.

Mouselemming,

In your situation, any worries about the car can be pushed back for at least a few months, so just make a calendar note to check on whether there’s anything wrong with it, then put it aside for now. With minimal driving it’s not getting worse, and may be nothing at all.

Follow all @backachu’s good advice, with this addition:

You have surgery tomorrow, so prioritize rest right now. Instead of thinking you have to hold onto everything, once you’ve written your list set aside several hours to let go of everything and rest. Something creeps back in your mind? Push it out. Repeat to yourself: “For my best outcome in surgery I need to be well rested. If possible I need to sleep. Resting is the most important thing I can be doing with my time right now.” If you can’t, don’t beat yourself up about it, treat yourself with the kindness you would show a friend. But if you can, it will help you react better to anesthesia and heal faster if you don’t go in depleted.

Nostalgia,

Lexapro?

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

I’m already on psych meds

Ocelot,

At least talk to your doctor. He might know of an anti-anxiety medication that would be safe with your other meds.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah. I’m gonna call my psychiatrist tomorrow and see what he thinks would be a good temporary thing. I just had a minor emotional breakdown and woke my mom on accident, so I totally need some help with all my big feelings.

Ocelot,

So how’d it go? Was he/she able to help?

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Not really. My anxiety eased up because of the pain from the surgery, though. The pain is unbearable and the paineds barely do anything.

eponymous_anonymous,

“ I used to work in a sheet metal factory, but then, a job came along at the tannery. The hours were better, and I would get paid. Also I would get the chance to work with leather both before and after it was on the cow, which had always been a dream of mine. I didn’t want to give up my sheet metal job, so I tried to do both jobs and finish middle school.”

“How old were you?”

“Eleven. The point is, I was so tired I tried to punch through 8 gauge aluminum with a leather awl.” laughs

“Wow.”

“I learned a lesson. Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing. So if you want to win that seat-“

“Which I do.”

“Then commit yourself 100%. Take a sabbatical.”

I’ve tried making lists, but they end up becoming a problem when it comes time to pick one thing to focus on. Eventually you just need to whole ass one thing.

And it turns out that’s the opposite of anxiety, for me at least. The opposite of anxiety isn’t calm, or peace - it’s focus. My advice would be to focus, on one or two things at a time.

Right now, you’re laid up in bed. Your body is hard at work on healing, so give your mind a break - try watching something that makes you laugh. Focus on laughing, and finding joy in these quiet moments. You have a perfect excuse to take some time for yourself. Drink lots of fluids (beer is a very good fluid). Eat good food. Get good sleep. Focus on that.

In no particular order, I would recommend watching the Office, Parks and Rec, the Good Place, Community, Wilfred, Adventures of Todd Margaret, Last Man On Earth, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, What We Do In The Shadows, or Our Flag Means Death

rafa,

Benzodiazepines 😋

SirToxicAvenger,

reading? I’m guessing you have a phone or a laptop now (else how would you post). lots of good, free books available on the internet.

regarding the car - used car prices are still pretty high, if you decide to sell it then the sooner the better. maybe look into getting an ebike or scooter as a replacement.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • asklemmy@lemmy.world
  • localhost
  • All magazines
    •
    Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #