Ending my honor run in shame

I’m 100+ hours into an honor run and I’ve finally made a decision I apparently can’t live with. I was offered a gift at the end of act 2, and while it was totally out of character for me to accept it, my curiosity got the better of me. I never made it this far before and I wanted to see what would happen. Now I hardly even recognize my character - when I look at them, I just see my dumb impulsive decision staring back at me. I’ve made plenty of dumb decisions before in the name of staying true to my character, and I bore the consequences with pride, but this was the opposite - I betrayed my character, and now I’m reminded of it in every dialogue and every cutscene from now until the end of the game. I was really invested in their journey too, especially with this shaping up to be my first “full” run, but now I’m wishing that they had died in act 2 before I did this to them. I’m only an hour or so into act 3 but it’s already starting to feel a bit like the last season of GoT.

Anyway, that’s how my glorious honor run came to a rather quiet and pitiful end. Anyone else have a similar experience?

MagicShel,

Those outer ring powers are pretty good, it’s worth saying. There’s a good likelihood I’ll make the same choice because honor run. I want to get the golden die and then I’ll go back to roleplay runs.

Plus it’s good to have things push me out of my comfort zone. I just finished act 2 and Thorm killed Jahira. It’s a bummer to miss out on her storyline stuff, but that’s something I’d never let stand if I could just reload so I’m in uncharted waters. I don’t know what things will be different. I assume I’ll never meet the big guy at a minimum. Maybe some sad dialog I’d never have experienced in A3. Maybe interactions with the Harpers will go differently.

I like the chaos that comes from consequences for impulsive decisions and randomness outside the players control. I’ve never let Isobel be taken - I’m way too good at that fight after like a dozen times - and if the dice went wildly against me I would be in uncharted territory which would be kinda exciting even though I would hate to let all of those individual storylines end on such an unhappy note. But that should just make me hate the Absolute even more, right?

teft,

Those outer ring powers are really good but the reason I personally always use the astral tadpole is the free flight on everyone.

Fly to get around the battlefield is stupidly overpowered especially if all your guys have it. It basically doubles your movement as soon as you get it since fly is 60 ft of movement.

MagicShel,

You make everyone take the astral worm? You are a monster lol. Lae’zel is one of my core characters and an absolute favorite and I can’t imagine bullying her into taking it. Besides at 22str I think she can jump about 60’ anyway.

I might try it because it sounds fun but oh man. Lae’zel and Karlach have been through enough! I could totally see Gale and Wyll and Halsin, though. It’s just that those three are never in my group except when needed for story reasons.

teft, (edited )

You make everyone take the astral worm?

The worm gives you persuasion and intimidation expertise for a reason.

I tried to make them all eat it in my honor run. Laezel it didn’t work with since she has two checks but everyone else was fine since they put up minimal arguments against using it. Except Astarion of course, he used it as quick as I did.

half_built_pyramids,

Interesting, my astarion refused and says he didn’t want to become another monster.

MagicShel, (edited )

My experience with Lae’zel:

L: Keep that ghaik shit away from me!

Me: [Persuasion] You’d be really powerful.

L: Hand that shit over.

My experience with Astarion:

A: Fuck. No.

Me: [Wisdom] But…

A: 1. Leave

Which sucks because he has all my lockpicking ability and a big chunk of my DPS and now he’s the only one who can’t fly. Maybe Minthara can respec as Gloomstalker and take his place. She was all about that worm. Didn’t even have to roll.

teft,

Besides at 22str I think she can jump about 60’ anyway.

Jumping takes a bonus action, fly doesn’t.

MagicShel,

With the right gear and cheese there’s a way to make jumping free as well (unless fixed - I’ve never tested it). But your point is well taken.

psycotica0,

Similar to other people, I think you should own it. Try to think of it not as “I betrayed my character” but rather “my character gave in to temptation and regrets it but has to live with the consequences”, then use that. Play the character as though they are unhappy with the changes, they regret it, but they must soldier on.

People aren’t all perfect archetypes, and characters can have flaws and nuances. And the best part is, if your character up until now had no reason to make the choice you made, maybe it’s time for an out of game flashback. Work backwards… what thing could have happened in their backstory that would explain why they made this seemingly incongruous choice? Why did this tempt them when so many other things did not, and why does this cause them so much shame now. That kind of stuff.

Or don’t! Just some suggestions, since it sounds like you’ve got nothing to lose, may as well try some character development!

LuckyBoy,

What gift? Not getting what specific part you’re talking about. Anyway, like other have said even a honor path of life will some mistakes during their life. You should move on with your playtrough.

Stovetop, (edited )

It is when the >!Emperor offers to enhance the power provided by your tadpole by advancing you one stage further in ceremorphosis. You get access to the outer ring of illithid powers but your character’s face also becomes partly pallid and broken, and your eyes get black sclera (if they didn’t already have it. It’s more noticeable on a human or elf than a Dragonborn, though.!<

LuckyBoy,

Right right, I was putting that on the start of act 3 because its on the camp with the view to baldurs gate.

teft, (edited )

What gift? Im struggling to think of anything at the end of act 2 that is given to Tav.

Edit: I thought some more on it, do you mean the astral gift? If thats the gift you took then you could play it like this: Emp used his persuasion to convince you to take the gift. You realized it was a trap and now you will use those powers to betray Emp. Free the person in the bubble and free yourself from the ghaik. You are restored to humanity if the BBEG dies. I tried to be mostly spoiler free in case you hadn’t played through fully already.

ImpossibilityBox,

I think I know exactly what choice you are talking about. I felt the same way to a certain extent. Let me use a level one or two spell slot to cast a glamour or something.

HOWEVER: What you get out of it in my opinion is worth it 100% also if you are on Pc there is a mod that takes care of the main problem with this gift. It’s the only mod I’ve got running at the moment.

SHOW_ME_YOUR_ASSHOLE,

There’s a mod that can fix your appearance if it’s the choice I’m thinking of.

bjoern_tantau,
@bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de avatar

Real people also sometimes do stupid shit that seems to go against their nature. I’d keep playing. You could make your regret inform all your future decisions.

Nima,
@Nima@lemmy.world avatar

why not try and embrace it? this isn’t the only run you will ever do. it might be interesting to see what you might do with the choices you’ve made.

just because you’ve made a choice that you must live with, let yourself live with it. try and make the best of it. or fight against it. this is a story that you’ve written from start to end. but you gotta allow it to run and end. ya know?

captainjaneway,
@captainjaneway@lemmy.world avatar

I agree with this sentiment. Each play through is fairly unique. You might be the first person to ever make these choices. Keep it up cause not everyone will do exactly what you did.

DudeDudenson,

I always find these kind of posts amusing, you guys remember this is a videogame right? Like he could have literally just gone back to a previous save and make a different choice

muix,

Not on honour mode

EmpathicVagrant,

I always find these kinds of comments amusing, you know what honor mode is, right? It’s not like he could go to a previous save, there isn’t one; you’re locked in to every choice you make.

DudeDudenson,

Why are you playing honor mode if you’d rather not roll with the punches? It’s like playing a roguelike and getting pissed at dying

teft, (edited )

Honor mode is one single save, permanent death. You can’t go back once you make a decision. It’s the reason you should know exactly how you’re planning on running honor mode so you don’t make mistakes that bork your save file or kill you outright (taunting Vlaakith is one way to kill yourself via dialog). I died on my first honor attempt due to stupidity so take my warning to heart. My second run was much more careful and now I have the golden dice.

MagicShel,

My first honor run ended when I forgot the hammer was on a different character, so I made bad dialog choices and got dominated by the Absolute for refusing to side with the emperor and kill Lae’zel.

Which was kinda dumb because I was all set to try sending Gale to his doom (gotta just finish once at all costs). I’ve never done that before but I had to be five minutes from the end if it works, and the lack of big O or the form change wouldn’t matter in the slightest. Hell I could - head canon - go back to camp and pop the guy free afterwards. Oh well. I’m back to the point of starting A3 now. These acts are so long… I have a ridiculous number of hours played and only finished the game once.

teft,

Gale boom is how I finished honor mode so you’ll be happy to know it works fine. Good luck. Some of those act 3 fights are just plain unfair.

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