What the hell is wrong with some people. So sorry you had to go through that. As a man myself I never thought one way or the other about who makes more in the relationship. My wife and I have traded that honor and it doesn’t matter because it all goes into the same pot - our future.
Not being able to be “the provider” is such a cop out way to think. Who cares who makes more if you want to be together. My wife is a ton smarter than me I expect her to eventually make more. That doesn’t make me any less in the relationship.