Playing DND for the first time in months so I’m in an excellent mood. I wish it wasn’t so hard getting people together, and I know I’m definitely part of the difficulty in making that happen.
This week went from bad, I wasn’t feeling well couldn’t find any energy was getting back into depression, to worse, my favorite all time uncle passed away last night. I am not dealing well. He was one of those weird, quite a lot, offbeat people that kind of got me, no one else liked him much. Now I feel like when I talk about how much I love home it makes me even more of an outsider. Also he is so far away I can’t go to his friends and his circle and be with other people that love him too.
Having kind of a rough week with wrestling with identity stuff. Things are generally good for me, but I just keep having these questions about myself coming up and I can’t seem to just drop it. Not sure where any of it is going, or if it’s going anywhere, but I’m getting kind of tired of it tbh…
Could nation-states just, for a day, not bomb one another? Houthis hit ships. Ships hit back. Iran hits…seemingly anyone nearby? Pakistan says, “Hold my Lassi” and lobs a few rockets back. Could we maybe, just take a deep breath, and chill?
Anyways, found out I got a hole in my knee meniscus exposing bone. I guess if we keep escalating these little tit-for-tat attacks I won’t have to worry about it for too long.
Up until yesterday, I was doing better, but last two days have been weird.
It’d be nice if I get a full week of “chill” at some point. Well, “chill” as in “good vibes”, not the weather that some of you in the northern hemisphere are dealing with (although, it’s surprisingly cold where I am today, despite it being the middle of summer).
Also, I’m sick of searching for headphones. Like legitimately tired of it. I don’t need perfect, but I need a good compromise between comfort and sound that I can vibe with, which seems to be fucking impossible for me. Probably because of sensory issues, but also because everyone hears shit differently, so reviews are generally pointless.
Edit, 11 hours later: Lol, I feel okay now. Think I just woke up to a bunch of bullshit. Gonna go watch some Sonic Prime and hopefully get a decent rest after that.
It’s going, I got my medical cannabis second prescription and it arrived today which is nice, waiting on some blackmarket ritalin to deal with my ADHD until my psychiatrist can see me and prescribe it legally. Not being able to think is a fucking nightmare.
@alyaza Going just fine. I went hiking through a forest this weekend and a stray dog kept following every one of us searching for food. You can see it in my profile pic now 😁
When we got to a nearby village, eventually one of the people in our group went to a shop and bought dog food. That dog was probably never happier in a while. It kept following us from a partially abandoned monastery all the way there.
And a new team project begins. Team leaders from the last term’s projects were exempt from being in charge again this time, which was something of a relief for a couple of hours. The new team leader is a lovely guy, but very shy and socially awkward, and so far his success rate for deciding what to do and delegating it to someone is… uh… one time. A couple more times if you include me making a suggestion and him going “yeah, what Frog said.” I have to give the dude credit for volunteering for team leader - given his personality, it was a seriously brave thing to do and I genuinely admire that. But I understand there are some bets amongst the class for £5-£10 over how many weeks it will be before I’m in charge. And I’m just like… nope, I am not taking over. I’m just not doing it.
I’m revisiting old favourites of mine - the first two books of the “achtsam morden” (mindful murder) series by Karsten Dusse. Unfortunately they’re German so probably not of much interest to you, but if you happen to speak it or come across a translation that I’m not aware of, do give the first book a try.
The protagonist is a lawyer mainly working for a mobster he doesn’t like. He’s increasingly unhappy with his work and life, and his marriage and the relationship with his little daughter are falling apart… until his wife forces him to go to a mindfulness seminar. When he starts applying the things he learns there, his life takes a dramatic turn as the results of his mindfulness are the death of his boss, him taking his place as the leader of a criminal enterprise and eventually using the enterprise’s resources to kill his opponents one by one and secure his daughter a place in kindergarten.
Especially the first book is a pleasant read both for the protagonist’s stoically mindful handling of increasingly violent and unlikely situations and for the actual exercises in mindfulness explained and demonstrated to the reader. You learn both why you should still love your parents-in-law even if you hate their guts (and how to do that) as well as how to correctly detonate a couple of hand grenades taped to a mobster’s nuts, all from the point of view of a very smart lawyer (which the author actually is in real life). In that the book is both educational and entertaining at the same time.
i wanted something light and short, so i listened to mindy kaling’s second book, “why not me?” plenty of laughs, and it made my five hour car trip feel a lot less awful.
Alyaza what have been your favorite/most interesting book among the four?
the majority of my reading list would not make for particularly comfortable reading so i’ll just point you to the fairly normal pick from last year, which is I’m Glad My Mom Died
now that i’ve read a bit more this week: The Great Transition by Nick Fuller Googins is an early contender for my book of the year and the first to get 5 stars this year from me (although i’m a generous reviewer)
I moved to Chicago at the end of October from the deep south. The past few days the weather has been hovering around 0⁰F and that has been an adjustment. I’ve figured out the clothing I can wear to bear it. Sunday my feet felt like they were going to fall off after only a few minutes walking around. Last night I had to wait for a bus for like 20 minutes and I was totally fine. I switched boots and it fixed my whole issue with comfort.
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