badmanteau, 1 year ago (edited 7 months ago)

NASA’s just going to get more and more specific to these:

“So there’s this asteroid that’s about the size of Ted from Accounting. Now I mean Ted Abrams from Accounting, not Ted Hillman. Okay? Big difference. Anyway, so it’s roughly the size of Ted, but, like, if Ted tucks himself into a loose cannonball like he’s diving into a pool. I mean, he’s not tightly compact like a ball, we all know Ted isn’t that flexible. I mean, not since he threw out his back a couple.of years ago, poor guy. But get this, y’all: this sucker weighs the same as a 1972 Ford Pinto. Only it’s a Ford Pinto that’s had the engine block removed, is missing the right-read tire (the wheel is there, just no tire), has a quarter tank of gas, and there.are three.Verne Troyers in the seats. Huh? Yeah, the.guy who played Mini Me. No, no. The guy from Jackass is somebody else entirely.

Okay, but yeah, that asteroid’s gonna land smack dab in the middle of Carmel, Indiana’s KFC at about 2:43 AM EST on February 11th, 2024. It’ll mostly disintegrate by the time it hits that a couple of tiny pebbles might bounce off the roof, but it’s important that we let you all know this stuff.”