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2piradians, to asklemmy in What's the funniest mishearing of song lyrics you've had?

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIZZAS

2piradians, to memes in The future is now

The trouble is, the amount of steady pressure to apply varies inversely proportionate to the amount of towel left on the roll. So it’s a guessing game for most people as to how hard to pull.

2piradians, to memes in The rage is real

This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

cracks the blinds to look for agents outside

2piradians, to memes in Locked and Loaded

When I was stationed in the UK, we were warned not to use private driveways to turn around our cars.

They said the residents don’t take kindly to having their driveways disturbed and might raise hell, chasing the car with whatever they could grab (allegedly this had happened many times).

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