ChillDude69

@ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com

LEMMY ALLOWS ME TO HAVE A SCREENNAME THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TAKEN 15 YEARS AGO, ON REDDIT. I AM CHILLDUDE69 AND I AM FREAKIN’ HAPPY ABOUT IT!

Yes, I’m screaming all that. Capslock is still cruise control for cool, y’all.

Peace.

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ChillDude69,

Poseidon’t fuck around, that’s for sure.

ChillDude69, (edited )

The highly hyped and long-awaited video game “Starfield” has been getting a lot of negative reviews, lately. I read some of them, and a very high percentage of them have CLEARLY been written by people with severe, crippling depression and anxiety issues.

Ya know, issues that a game can’t fix, and which will make any game seem shitty, because their brains aren’t capable of having fun, in their current configuration.

ChillDude69,

Hey, man, you KNOW Todd has no idea what Lemmy is. I mean, maybe he knows about Motörhead, but I even doubt that. He’s probably one of those guys who listens to smooth jazz, entirely unironically.

ChillDude69, (edited )

I guess there are parts of it that are kinda contemplative. When you get done blasting everyone who attacked you in a spaceship you boarded, or some space facility on an alien planet…and then you’re just alone in space? That’s kinda contemplative.

I suppose you could say the same thing about the Elder Scrolls or Fallout games. Action-RPG action, punctuated by walking around fairly atmospheric scenery.

Basically, if you don’t like relatively simplistic first-person-action-roleplaying game content, then you won’t like any of Bethesda’s games. As for the people who are bitching and moaning so much, I just don’t understand their perspective. It’s like they played a game of air hockey, then they were like “WELL, I THOUGHT THE PART WHERE THE PLASTIC PUCK FLOATED ON A CUSHION OF AIR WAS REALLY STUPID, I DIDN’T LIKE IT, I WANT MY MONEY BACK.”

In that case, motherfucker, there is NO WAY you could have gone into the situation, not expecting exactly what you got. Which is why I think a lot of these people are using games as a substitute for prescription drugs to treat their crippling chemical imbalance problems.

And don’t get me wrong: entertainment can boost your mood, if you’re not as far gone as these people are. Keeping people sane is indeed one of the main reasons for entertainment existing. But if you are in a mental state where you’re legitimately experiencing anhedonia, it’s not fair to blame the game developers for that shit.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Prepare yourself for the stream of bitter hatred, even from the fairly chill people in this community. You’ll be getting a shitload of it, for having the temerity to enjoy a BethSoft game.

Can I ask, though, what the bugs you encountered were? I’ve played every Bethesda game, from Morrowind through Starfield, and I’ve never actually encountered any bugs that were gamebreaking. I hear about this stuff all the time, even from reasonable people like you, but I guess I’ve just been getting really lucky?

What were your bugs that you had to use mods to fix?

ChillDude69,

Interesting. I am pretty sure I was, like, one random decision away from having that bug with the distortions, but I decided to explore a different planet, instead of going to that one. I did the entire space pirate quest line and some other stuff, too, before touching the main story much at all.

I do think I have been incredibly lucky, over the years, to have been so entirely untouched by this kind of bug.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Real talk: retail workers constantly bitching about that song have ACTUALLY REDUCED my enthusiasm for improving their general plight.

I thought they were chronically underpaid, underinsured, overworked, subjected to abuse…but nah, it turns out that the worst thing they have to put up with is some fucking Christmas song playing a few more times than they’d like to hear it.

That’s y’all’s fucking Vietnam? Well, then, I guess capitalism doesn’t need to be fixed. False alarm. Go fuck yourselves.

EDIT: I’m fucking joking. No, y’all, people bitching about Mariah didn’t actually convince me that trickle-down economics is actually a good idea. Jesus.

ChillDude69, (edited )

That’s a fair point. I was 99.9 percent joking, anyway. People seem to be unfamiliar with dark humor, lately.

ChillDude69, (edited )

As a heathen Yank, I don’t have an actual stake in the whole thing. However, I can’t escape the following, as my considered opinion:

EU Proponent: “Hey, you know how it’s really easy to govern, fund, and defend nations and empires?”

Skeptical European: “Ummm…are you joking?”

EU Proponent: “Well, some of us were thinking.: what if we carve out a nebulous, constantly shifting middle-ground between a single nation, a group of nations, and an empire. Ya know, some kind of cobbled-together, mutated entity, possessing some characteristics of all those things, but never truly being any of them. That might be EVEN EASIER to manage.”

Skeptical European: “What the…what? Fucking WHAT?”

EU Proponent: “We figure the most important aspect would be a constant vagueness, regarding the enforcement of laws, standards, and regulations that all the nations in the semi-pseudo-super-nation group would have to follow.”

Skeptical European: “Come again?”

EU Proponent: “Well, it’s simple: maybe all the countries in the quasi-ultra-state would be bound to obey laws passed by the mega-parliament. But also, maybe they would still be sovereign states, and they wouldn’t have to obey those laws. But, then again, maybe they ARE supposed to obey them, technically, but there isn’t an effective method of enforcement. If everyone has to keep guessing, that will make sure everyone pays attention, and everything will go really smoothly.”

Skeptical European: “Ohhhhhkay. But we’ll still bully the shit out of Greece if they have financial problems, right?”

EU Proponent: “Oh, fuck yes. That’s 90 percent of why we’re even doing this.”

Skeptical European: “Alright, I’m in.”

ChillDude69,

“Ffffffuuuuuu” is right, but it WAS hilarious, how they introduced the Fantasy Zone cabinet, in the game. That arcade ho was like “I’ll show you my fantasy zone,” and Majima was like “I’m all ears. And, like, one eye.”

ChillDude69,

Somewhere, one of the glassblowers who makes those mind-blowingly, offensively expensive bongs at the head shop…that guy is seeing this, and already sketching out plans for the four-foot-tall glass hyper-bubbler version.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Hear me out, okay?

Girls in sexy witch costumes, or any sexy Halloween costumes are fine. That’s great and everything, sure. But 99.2 percent of them are at the Halloween party with their boyfriends. And those guys aren’t even having a good time. They’re just standing around as accessories, dressed as Gomez Addams, or whoever else. So, like, whatever.

But when you see a girl in a fully scandalous sexy elf costume, or a sultry Mrs. Claus outfit? Or the somewhat rare (yet more pervy) sexy reindeer costume?

SHE FUCKS.

THAT GIRL FUCKS.

Believe it.

EDIT: if you can’t figure out how the reindeer tail is attached to the costume, YOU’VE GOT A LIVE ONE ON YOUR HANDS.

ChillDude69,

Thanks, Lemmy-bro.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Well, they’ve gone down in price to the point that they’ll be in people’s stockings. And getting immature with them is always fun.

Remember: they can also make a simply fantastical array of fart sounds. “Alexa: open Big Fart” is the magic phrase.

ChillDude69,

https://lemmynsfw.com/pictrs/image/76a5c4a7-2d69-4218-acbe-d1cef31410a9.webp

This meme I made early last year is relevant.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Yeah, but does that mean it’s a normal and expected shitshow?

ChillDude69, (edited )

So, like, I can throw a party balloon filled with 1.7 liters of urine at someone and it will be acceptable, as long as I remember to shout: DANGEROUSLY OVERFILLED PISS BALLOON as I toss it?

Alternate names for consideration: pissengan, urinitron, bakapeepee

EDIT: before you even tell me that I can’t go around hucking piss balloons, remember that these people might literally poke me in my actual anus, as a prank. If someone does that shit, I’m definitely piss-ballooning them, at the earliest opportunity.

ChillDude69, (edited )

There’s a subset of those that end up actually being SUPER CREEPY. Ya know the ones where there’s, like, a pack of Albert Einsteins or Socrateses (Socratepedes???) all chanting and waving their arms? And saying some weird shit like “ONLY LEFT BRAINED PEOPLE CAN BEAT THIS LEVEL” or whatever wack-ass shit, like that?

That shit is somehow, like, actual nightmare fuel for me. It’s just too surreal and weirdly threatening. Makes me want to just not look at it, instantly.

ChillDude69,

Well, the lowest possible level of nightmare fuel.

ChillDude69, (edited )

That would kinda explain a lot. I think this shit started to become an inconvenience in my life AFTER my eyes started to deteriorate. So, like, I couldn’t possibly see it, without holding a magnifying glass up to my phone.

ChillDude69,

Exactly. And I mean, you’re gonna put more hours on the moped than the jet, most likely.

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