ChillDude69

@ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com

LEMMY ALLOWS ME TO HAVE A SCREENNAME THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TAKEN 15 YEARS AGO, ON REDDIT. I AM CHILLDUDE69 AND I AM FREAKIN’ HAPPY ABOUT IT!

Yes, I’m screaming all that. Capslock is still cruise control for cool, y’all.

Peace.

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ChillDude69,

Somewhere, one of the glassblowers who makes those mind-blowingly, offensively expensive bongs at the head shop…that guy is seeing this, and already sketching out plans for the four-foot-tall glass hyper-bubbler version.

ChillDude69,

https://lemmynsfw.com/pictrs/image/76a5c4a7-2d69-4218-acbe-d1cef31410a9.webp

This meme I made early last year is relevant.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Yeah, but does that mean it’s a normal and expected shitshow?

ChillDude69, (edited )

So, like, I can throw a party balloon filled with 1.7 liters of urine at someone and it will be acceptable, as long as I remember to shout: DANGEROUSLY OVERFILLED PISS BALLOON as I toss it?

Alternate names for consideration: pissengan, urinitron, bakapeepee

EDIT: before you even tell me that I can’t go around hucking piss balloons, remember that these people might literally poke me in my actual anus, as a prank. If someone does that shit, I’m definitely piss-ballooning them, at the earliest opportunity.

ChillDude69, (edited )

There’s a subset of those that end up actually being SUPER CREEPY. Ya know the ones where there’s, like, a pack of Albert Einsteins or Socrateses (Socratepedes???) all chanting and waving their arms? And saying some weird shit like “ONLY LEFT BRAINED PEOPLE CAN BEAT THIS LEVEL” or whatever wack-ass shit, like that?

That shit is somehow, like, actual nightmare fuel for me. It’s just too surreal and weirdly threatening. Makes me want to just not look at it, instantly.

ChillDude69,

Well, I created him with AI, so double no-soul. I guess that gives him some kind of unnatural, predatory magnetism, like a vampire.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Shit, that’s what they USED to do, back in the good old days. Now, it’s just “WAAAAAH, WAAAAH, WAAAAHHHHH, THERE ARE TOO MANY ASIANS AND LESBIANS AND BLACKS!”

You realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen grown men get to the point of threatening each other’s safety, over whether or not the hyperspace drives in Star Wars are more realistic than the warp drive from Star Trek?

I never thought I’d miss that shit, but I miss it.

Also, like, can I remind everyone of the cantina scene, from the first fucking movie? NOTHING about that scene says “these producers and writers don’t really buy into the whole concept of diversity,”

Motherfuckers, there were two different kinds of blue alien, aliens with actual butt-faces, a WEREWOLF, some guys with insectoid multi-faceted eyeballs, and a guy with an ultramodernist chair for a fucking head. And the biggest asshole in the place was the fat white guy who didn’t like a specific group (droids) and wouldn’t let them in his bar.

But now, some of y’all think “wokeness” in Star Wars is some kind of NEW thing?

ChillDude69, (edited )

One question remains: when the Exxxocomp dematerializes the fleshlight attachment, does your load get recycled into the micro-replicaotor? Or does the sploodge just drop onto the floor, when it vanishes…at which point, I guess you could order the Exxxocomp to replicate a squeegee to clean it up.

ChillDude69, (edited )

Just wait until 43. You’ll realize that your plan to do a bunch of awesome shit during your 42nd year (because that number is the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything) fizzled into basically nothing, and you don’t even have the energy to jack off much, anymore.

The only consolation is knowing that your apathy will grow in proportion to your decay, so by the time you’re TRULY incapable and decrepit, you literally won’t be capable of giving a shit about the situation.

ChillDude69,

I’m not sure what the most original version was, but the one the screenshot is from is called Gorillas, and it was included with Mircosoft Qbasic, on DOS. It was intended as an example program, to show what QBasic could do. I modded the crap out of it, to make the explosions bigger and weird colors, etc. Changed the gorillas to be all mutated and fucked up, etc. Good times.

ChillDude69,

Oh, for sure. Can’t you see Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos’ faces on a tapestry, like the founders of the OG medieval dynasties? That’s what we’re heading into.

Shit, I always thought those sci-fi settings (like Warhammer 40k, Dune, Bill the Galactic Hero) where people returned to actual systems of lords and peasants were kind of far-fetched. I was simply naïve. We’re witnessing the start of that shit, right the fuck now.

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