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LemmyKnowsBest, to lemmyshitpost in Task failed successfully

I’m browsing by “new” but this joke was from a week or two ago. Can we please move on?

LemmyKnowsBest, to comicstrips in Bad dog

there’s no such thing as a bad dog. Only a bad owner who didn’t train the dog well.

LemmyKnowsBest, to memes in Me after Christmas dinner

It’s January 16th. Are we currently occupying a space in time after Christmas dinner? or before Christmas dinner?

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited ) to asklemmy in If you had to restart your job at your current employer, what would you do differently?

Stop acting like I’m worthless with low self-esteem. I don’t know why I present myself that way. I’m a valuable competent skilled employee who passes background checks squeaky clean. Someone smack me and tell me to present myself as I deserve.

I even declined the hiring bonus because I felt unworthy of it although I meet all the criteria for it 🤦‍♀️ But really what I did was tell my managers that I’d rather be given the hiring bonus after I’ve been there a year because I’ve heard that some companies have a stipulation in the contract of hiring bonuses that should anything happen within the first year of my employment that causes me to stop working there, I would have to repay the bonus, so I kept it in mind that if I ever got a job that promised a hiring bonus, I would discuss it with the manager to have the bonus given to me at the end of a year. well I told my managers this and they told me I would have to talk to a higher up manager about it and they told me her name but I forgot, and they didn’t even look me in the eye when they said this and I just kind of never followed up on it.

LemmyKnowsBest, to lemmyshitpost in She's got a bright future ahead of her... on OF

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  • LemmyKnowsBest, to asklemmy in What are some good items to put in a cold weather care kit to hand out to Homeless folks in my city?

    A house.

    Homeless people need homes.

    Boom. Homeless problem instantly solved.

    LemmyKnowsBest, to asklemmy in Physicists of Lemmy, what is up?

    Careful. At best, you’re gonna get some armchair physicist poseurs responding to your question.

    LemmyKnowsBest, to mildlyinteresting in Pudding used to come in cans

    You unlocked a core childhood memory. It must have been sometime around the late 1980s pudding started being sold in plastic containers and I forgot they had ever been in cans.

    LemmyKnowsBest, to asklemmy in How was Rudy Guiliani as mayor of NYC?

    I remember after 9-11-2001 he was hailed & praised & celebrated as a hero for the way he handled stuff and that was the first time I’d ever heard of him, so I figured he must obviously be a great guy but lately his name keeps popping up everywhere like he’s a horrible person and I never have any idea what’s going on . Politics is a bunch of blah-blah-blah.

    LemmyKnowsBest, to memes in eww

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  • LemmyKnowsBest, to lemmyshitpost in No soap. It makes the children too slippery.

    OMG Skeletor has a purple Snuggie ™️

    LemmyKnowsBest, to memes in Low-hanging fruit 🥱

    every society in the world is falling apart So it takes the edge off by mocking other countries.

    except for those more civilized people up in the Nordic regions. they’re doing good with the whole Utopian human rights thing.

    LemmyKnowsBest, to lemmyshitpost in No soap. It makes the children too slippery.

    Hey FBI, keep your eye on OP

    LemmyKnowsBest, (edited ) to fuck_cars in “Can We Talk About Cars?” (2011)

    anyone who’s terrified of driving should not drive. keep those people off the road. They are the ones who drive badly because they’re scared, And they make the roads dangerous for everybody else.

    I’ve driven across the United States five times with no problem. You just have to follow all the traffic laws and keep a safe following distance and use your turn signals, stay 100% focused on the road at all times, easy peasy. people who can’t do those things should stay off the roads. It’s better for them and better for everyone else.

    LemmyKnowsBest, to cyanideandhappiness in Random 8 January 2012

    When having sex with women, he fantasizes about having conversations with them 😆

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