LemmyKnowsBest

@LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world

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LemmyKnowsBest,

It’s January 16th. Are we currently occupying a space in time after Christmas dinner? or before Christmas dinner?

LemmyKnowsBest,

Careful. At best, you’re gonna get some armchair physicist poseurs responding to your question.

LemmyKnowsBest,

mmmm tomato rice

but that machine looks more useful for plowing orifices than for opening a can of Campbells soup

LemmyKnowsBest,

It’s fun now, I’ve been on Lemmy enough hours this evening that I figured out if a meme doesn’t make sense and has double digit down votes, then it’s from that insane OP.

LemmyKnowsBest,

If theyre banned, how are they participating?

LemmyKnowsBest,

yeah any of that.

Because Christmas Day is supposed to be a magical flawless wonderful day full of joyous gifts and love,

But sometimes shit happens.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

Yeah, phone books..

In the olden days it was easier to look anyone up, the phone company would deliver a new phone book to everyone’s front door twice a year, how could we not all be at least a little fascinated to explore through all those pages and look up people we know from school etc? 😋

nowadays people have to go out of their way with an intention in their mind to go to a website and look people up on whitepages.com or peoplefinder.com etc and last time I noticed years ago, a fee is required to use those kind of sites.

LemmyKnowsBest,

everything makes sense to me except “hot tubs hate kids.” Please explain what happened

LemmyKnowsBest,

I don’t think a diet of berries and shrubs could make a bear that girthy. that bear eats humans. Lots of humans.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

well since Mozart is dead, and OP wants us to name a contemporary artist, isn’t it a prerequisite that the artist still be alive right now?

Danny Elfman wins. He’s a fookin’ musical mad genius.

LemmyKnowsBest,

funny how Australia originated as a continent where criminals were banished to.

Hundreds of years later everything has changed and everyone in the world adores Australians.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

I was stranded in a town in the middle of nowhere Nevada, the kind of town that only has a post office, one restaurant bar, and a motel. I was stranded because while I was traveling, my retirement direct deposits suddenly stopped coming in.

So the lady who owns all the motel and the restaurant she hired me the first day as a dishwasher, the second day as cleaning motel rooms, then the other housekeeper told her I was too pretty for this and that I should be a bartender. So on the third day the boss started training me as a bartender. I did it and was grateful for the money but I hated every minute of it.

according to state law you are correct I should have taken a test and gotten certified but no one ever required that of me, and I didn’t realize that was even a thing until one of my friends moved to Reno and had to take a test to be a bartender. But no one ever made me do that. There is no government oversight in that little town in the middle of nowhere except

One day two representatives from the FDA came in and spent a couple hours with our chef and found no violations except they told him to wear latex gloves, and that was all the govt oversight I ever witnessed out there.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Because this can’t possibly be good for the car, right?

LemmyKnowsBest,

When I was a little kid those things grew everywhere. we called them cottontails. we never put them in our mouths. we tore them apart with our hands.

LemmyKnowsBest,

are other people in the comments here interpreting this as a sexual pun, “choking on pussy?” I don’t think that’s how Gary Larson intended it.

Because first of all, cunnilingus has nothing to do with putting that anatomical part down one’s throat. It’s impossible. You can put a penis down your throat but you don’t put pussy down your throat.

And second of all, Gary Larson’s humor is rarely (if ever?) sexually crass.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

I still can’t get over the fact that it was only a few weeks ago when I learned that Walter White is the same actor who played dad in Malcolm in the Middle. still blows my mind. What a prolific actor to take on such vastly different roles.

I zoom in on Walter White and try so hard to see Hal Wilkerson in there but I just can’t.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Carhartt

LemmyKnowsBest,

Texans are so full of themselves they think Texas is a country.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Anything more you are interested in?

Yes. How do you use touchscreens when your flippers are so cold?

LemmyKnowsBest,

shiitake

LemmyKnowsBest,

Those are all perfectly normal hobbies. Wait.

LemmyKnowsBest,

And Spotify tells people when they’re going to die?

LemmyKnowsBest,

I hope adults made my Android phone.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

yeah I remember when Netflix first started circa 2007,

IT COST $8 A MONTH

I was there for it. They would mail out DVDs and there were no due dates or overdue fees. You just drop it back in the mail when you’re done watching it and then you can rent more DVDs. The whole thing cost $8 a month.

that was the beginning of Blockbuster video going out of business. Blockbuster’s late fees and rewinding fees were an atrocity.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Ah yes Netflix. I was going through the apps on my phone to delete things that I don’t need, there’s a bunch of shit on there I never installed and can’t be uninstalled. like Netflix.

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