Ok but getting upset if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”
Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?
Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?
There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”
This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.
“Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.
Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.
We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.
We want you to stop complaining about it because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore. NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.
If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.
It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.
Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
Yup, “Y’all” is the example I’d raise for folks who say it’s all AAVE, Y’all pretty firmly comes into American vernacular out of its use among rural farming communities, not necessarily usage among black culture.
Not to mention how a significant chunk of new vernacular is going to always be coming from the diasporatic distribution pipeline bringing new languages and dialects to America constantly. Granted this is mostly how new kinds of food enter the American linguistic pallette, but you get the idea.
Well, it’s being used in English, so as long as the intended meaning comes across it can be all three and whatever else so long as it still communicates the intended message.
There some reason they were getting ready to instantly fall off if the horse spooked instead of just shooting while sat in the saddle like every other mounted firearms unit has done since firearms cavalry became a thing?
Well seeing how you almost need the output of a Dyson swarm to make a Dyson swarm, cool glowy rock power and explodey gas power can and will work just as good. Especially for places that are far away from the ideal conditions to exploit solar energy terrestrially. Where I’m at we have to use literal piles of garbage to be able to get high enough above the trees to achieve sustainable output.