I’m revisiting old favourites of mine - the first two books of the “achtsam morden” (mindful murder) series by Karsten Dusse. Unfortunately they’re German so probably not of much interest to you, but if you happen to speak it or come across a translation that I’m not aware of, do give the first book a try.
The protagonist is a lawyer mainly working for a mobster he doesn’t like. He’s increasingly unhappy with his work and life, and his marriage and the relationship with his little daughter are falling apart… until his wife forces him to go to a mindfulness seminar. When he starts applying the things he learns there, his life takes a dramatic turn as the results of his mindfulness are the death of his boss, him taking his place as the leader of a criminal enterprise and eventually using the enterprise’s resources to kill his opponents one by one and secure his daughter a place in kindergarten.
Especially the first book is a pleasant read both for the protagonist’s stoically mindful handling of increasingly violent and unlikely situations and for the actual exercises in mindfulness explained and demonstrated to the reader. You learn both why you should still love your parents-in-law even if you hate their guts (and how to do that) as well as how to correctly detonate a couple of hand grenades taped to a mobster’s nuts, all from the point of view of a very smart lawyer (which the author actually is in real life). In that the book is both educational and entertaining at the same time.
Couch potatoes are important too! And from the looks of it she was a pro.
Mine should enjoy agility in theory - she’s super smart, easily bored, very nimble and needs a lot of exercise. I don’t know if she’s being considerate by trying not to expose her clumsy human to such situations or if she just thinks such simple challenges would be degrading to such a majestic animal as herself.
At least our slightly overweight french bulldog (of all things) is ultra-motivated as long as there’s a treat waiting behind every other obstacle.
Sounds like both a practical and fun car! Here’s to many adventures with it.
As for the name, I have no idea. For some reason, Pierre comes to mind. Maybe because Nissan is french nowadays, or maybe I’ve just rewatched too many episodes of Danger 5 this week.
I’ve never dabbled in poly myself (just open relationships, which have some similar mechanics but a fundamentally different mindset), so the following is limited second-hand knowledge/opinion, but seeing as nobody else has replied…
First of all I don’t think there’s a definite answer to your question, as ‘poly’ is an umbrella term for a lot of different constellations: does everybody date everybody or are people just allowed to have several unrelated partners, is everything fair game or are there things you’re only supposed to do with your main partner (if there is one), how are new partners introduced, who can have sex with whom, do the same rules even apply to everybody involved, etc. There’s no right or wrong, only “everybody involved is comfortable with this” or not.
I myself haven’t seen many poly constructs work out mid- to long-term, mainly for the same reason that many open relationships eventually fail: not everybody involved was equally enthusiastic about the open/poly part, and/or as mindful of their partner(s) ad the situation demands.
Those I’ve seen succeed all have two things in common: very, very good communication and unconditional trust.
One part of this is what some call “brutal honesty” - you talk about everything that might affect your feelings for each other - even, and especially, the things that may hurt your partner(s)'s feelings. This obviously demands a lot from everybody involved. You also need to accept the fact that your partner(s) will have feelings that may be hurtful to you but are still valid and good for them. For example you need to be genuinely happy for the person you love the most in the world when they fall in love with somebody new and/or have had better sex with them than with you. That’s tough on many levels. It also means that there needs to be enough trust to accept and overcome jealousy and fear of loss.
You also see how easily such a degree of trust can be abused. That abuse accounts for, hmm, probably 90% of all the failed poly and open situations I personally know of. It never works out when one partner just goes along with it in order not to (entirely) lose the other partner, which sadly happens alot and is not always obvious from the start.
Funnily enough, a monogamous relationship would profit just as much from that kind of communication, only a monogamous break-up is generally more of an obstacle than a shift in a poly constellation (both for personal reasons and because of what society expects), and so monogamous constructs can be of a much lower quality before they’re deemed unsustainable.
I’ve also asked a close friend with poly experience what they think is important and will add their response here once they’ve replied.
My driving instructor always used to say “for all its faults, a car is still highly addictive”, and he’s totally right. But of course how much you enjoy driving it depends on where and how much you do that. Congrats anyway! What type of car is it, and what style of name did you have in mind?
Ugh. One of our ‘kids’ has been using various dating apps for a couple years, and all they did was make her depressed and me immensely grateful that I’ve never had to resort to any of them. They’re such a carnival of vanities, people killing themselves to outbid each other with unnatural selfies photoshopped to faux perfection (while simultaneously assuming that every other person is naturally beautiful without filters).
There should be a dating app or website with a strict ban on images that have been altered in any way.
Good for you to have scored a date though! Fingers crossed that there will be a second one.
Aw man, that sucks both for its effects and for how much people underestimate the consequences. Did you stub it or cut it? Keep it snuggled up to the two toes next to it and make sure there’s a steady supply of chocolate.
I’m looking forward to the interview with the guy who got fired because he was late for work and offered “an airplane window fell on my car” as an excuse.
Why do you say this? What gives you the idea that they will face some form of workload pressure because of this?
Oh, I’d be very surprised if any actual personal responsibility found its way to them. But they’re gonna have to look super busy and worried for the press for a while, find somebody else to pin the blame on, call friends in government to ‘expedite’ any investigations and reassure their shareholders. That’s gonna cost them a lot of time they could have spent on nicer things such as working on their handicap, doing coke in the coutry club’s bathroom or firing a couple of hundred workers.