@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml
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Schnitzel_bub

@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml

I just steal my favorite memes from other platforms and share them with you guys.

You know, kindling to keep the Lemmy fire burning warmer.

Also, I love uncomplicated, basic stuff in life; like schnitzel, coffee and masturbation.

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Schnitzel_bub,
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I actually only needed the volumetric farts of about 15 hamsters.

However, I thought it’s not realistic to have them all fart at the same time, so I kept buying more.

Eventually it was a big enough group that it seemed more statistically plausible that 15 of them farted in unison.

I feed them beer and cheese and beans to increase the hypothetical flatulence interval of each hamster.

Also I have found, adding “I don’t know, maybe something startled them and some of them… Went off” helps. I could buy a few more hamsters instead, but times are hard.

Schnitzel_bub,
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I blame mine on the hamsters.

I had to gradually buy about 95 to make it seem plausible but I got there in the end.

Schnitzel_bub,
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And don’t forget the adrenalin junkies trying to get away with farting on fart karens

Schnitzel_bub,
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Your poople.

Schnitzel_bub,
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One could argue if you have those “not playing along” vibes in general on top of the flatulophobia, they might go out of their way to keep them in and seek you out just for extra fun. Behold how the funny stacks:

Fart

undesired fart

undesired stealth fart

undesired stealth fart one cannot really address

undesired stealth fart nobody can really address with a layer of spite and schadenfreude

Schnitzel_bub,
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Who said murder wasn’t funny?

Schnitzel_bub,
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There he is! Come on, angry mob, let’s all fart on this heathen!

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Both are funny to me. I didn’t know there’s comedic range to poop-air.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Fart Vandalay.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Mom and Pop better hire some 7 year Olds ASAP.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

It is a hard thing to accept for the shitty bosses I thought.

Tbh, I also considered there’s better memes to fit the idea but I haven’t found any right away. Considering it’s had decent amount of upvotes, if you like the idea but think the format ruins it, steal my idea and put it in the better format, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just wait 1w so people won’t be annoyed by the repetition. Maybe it’ll do better with your spin on it.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

That’s not a mint. This boss just hasn’t been taking his hard to swallow pills and is trying to delegate even that.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

I think you’re statistically right.

Schnitzel_bub, (edited )
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

He’s not an idiot because he’s a capitalist. It’s that capitalism encourages the idiotic type to try shit out, because those are the ones with most self-confidence. They’re mostly also the least likely to really consider the responsibilities such as: your employees depend on you now, if you fuck up majorly, you’ll screw over all your employees’ lives, potentially their families too, potentially irreversibly

So yea, the function of “CEO” naturally attracts cretins.

And God forbid such a moron’s business becomes even slightly successful, because guess who suddenly feels smarter, less accountable for his terrible character flaws and toxic behavior? That’s right. Usually, businesses which make it are mostly just lucky. But you can’t explain this to cpt douchebag, he thinks he’s magically smarter and better at life than anyone.

And the better the company does, the more the Boss will indulge in his dysfunction and craziness.

That’s why, statistically bosses are highly probable to be the scourge of humanity. It’s not just capitalism. it’s just the toxic mix of luck, power and stupidity - all three combined with whichever the boss’ character flaws and weaknesses are. Only in capitalism, power usually takes the form of money, that’s all. But the issue is even deeper with people.

(i hate capitalism too, but I think blaming it all on capitalism and calling it a day isn’t gonna address such a fundamental issue with people. I come from an ex communist country and that shit is just equally toxic if brought to it’s extreme version - and for the same reasons to do with the human psyche too.)

Schnitzel_bub, (edited )
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They’re only checking if our civilization is still at the talking-out-of-our-asses stage.

Schnitzel_bub,
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And the throughput of my throat is impressive to say the least.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

That’s exactly what Big Water propaganda wants you to think.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

I used to be that friend, then I stopped. Learned to put order in my thoughts before sharing them. If not out of self respect, at least out of respect for my friends.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Solidified, dead blood. Is it still part of you, or is it just stuck in you like a cork? Quick, rip it off to get rid of this existentialist grey area by throwing it out the window.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Don’t judge my platelets! They’re just burnt out and underpaid. Inflation hasn’t been good on their quality of life either.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Pipl crust.

Schnitzel_bub,
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One might not have the balls for it.

Schnitzel_bub,
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Exactly, we’re pasta point where adding more puns is funny.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

It’s OK man, it’s just yogurt.

Talk about lack toes in toddler ants, sheesh.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

Don’t worry, I already have someone go bring some from the shop. He’s running unusually late though - hope he’s OK.

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