I have been reading / listening to Dan Savage for years for my sex and relationship advice. With him being a gay man its interesting to hear his perspective as a man and dating men. Its been wonderful for my development and I highly recommend him to everyone.
That being said it would be interesting to hear from a straight or bi men as well. I often hear things that he says about men in general that I disagree with and wonder if its me, a gay thing or something different. A diversity of voices is always helpful especially if its about kink. Its more interesting as a topic and there are plenty of kinky woman writing now and few kinky men. Which is ironic since there are more kinky identified men than woman as a population overall
I think the article brought that up as a good point. It would have to walk a fine line and would work best as advice column to answer specific questions. I think the generalities can cause sexist issues much more than a specific example
I think this makes some great point but doesn't talk enough about how the cultures makes sex exclusively about the conquest for men as well. There is almost no talk about intimacy or pleasure from the sex but rather if it was gotten at all. The overall goal is have sex. Its isn't pleasure focused for either party with the assumption is that the man ejaculates from PIV. The queer and kink communities have really focused on the entire aspects and emotions that sex can provide. This trickled into most sex positive books and most of the advice was geared to women to allow them to feel any sexual pleasure but is applicable for all genders.
I think most men understand that sex can provide multiple emotions at once but can't articulate what they need and how they get it outside of sex as well. We need to talk about how young men want love and that sex can be part of that. I highly recommend people look into kink and sex positive books to understand relationships and what sex can mean outside the traditional sexist narrative.
My kiddo and I are having a fruit and vegetable challenge. Each month we’ll seek out a fruit or vegetable we’ve never tried and taste it. My BFF is trying to walk all the greenways in our county (that is county not country, low stakes! Attainabl!). How about you?
I recommend starting with young adult novels. There are a lot of great ones and they are easy to get into. Large fonts makes fast reading. They generally have an interesting theme and simple plot. Great way to get started. Trying to go from nothing to something complex like Infinite Jest is a recipe to fail.
Most caterpillars are mildly poisonous since they only eat a single type of plant so they are immune to the plants poisonous effect. That gets into their fleshy hotdog body. Unfortunately most birds are also mostly immune.
I know it’s not even close there yet. It can tell you to kill yourself or to kill a president. But what about when I finish school in like 7 years? Who would pay for a therapist or a psychologist when you can ask for help a floating head on your computer?...
At the end of the day AI (no just the LLM we call AI now) are really good at doing boring machine work. These tasks are repetitive, simple and routine. This includes all the LLM which can summarize boring text and generate more boring text. It can't generate anything new but just output and rearrange.
What there will be always need for are human work. This includes creativity, emotions and human interaction. A machine can't replace that at all. Psychology and therapy are all emotions and human interactions so it might be the most safe career choice. Same with something like haircutting or other career that involve human wisdom and personal skills.
Boring jobs like sending and receiving emails might be replaced. The reason businesses are so scared is that the majority of people in an office just do that
I have eaten American Black Nightshade berries before. They taste like tiny tomatoes mixed with blueberries. I haven't had a full smoothie of them before though
If you can find one in your location we have been trying to shop more at a package free stores. We have found that the cleaning products which we have purchased are generally similar in price and work just as well if not better than we used to use. After living in a city that charged for bags at the grocery store we have gotten used to using a reusable bag for all grocery trips even though lots of items still have the single use plastics in packaging. For those we try to reuse that plastic as small garbage can liners or other uses but most get thrown away.
We have been trying to reduce our consumption in general (the high costs of goods has helped with this). We have been trying to only purchase the high quality long last version of any item instead of the cheapest one available. This has been difficult since the high quality is more expensive and its difficult to find what items are actually worth it instead of a brand name. Overall it difficult but being mindful of it has been helpful
Exactly. People and relationships should change and mature. We should also look at different measures of success. A couple of was married for 15 years and then got a divorce but don't hate each other. That is a successful relationship but it didn't last an entire lifetime
The current assumptions and expectations that society has about monogamy and commitment are insane. The idea that one person should meet all of your social, relationship and sexual needs is insane. Especially for those people who consider being attracted / look at other people / looking at porn to someone else as cheating. Like you don't stop feeling physical attraction or even get crushes if you are committed. You just don't do anything that violate other peoples trust.
The queer communities take on monogamy and commitment that does have any assumptions is really the best method going forward. Not to mention the removal of gender expectations for house work etc. Its exactly like you described it. An on-going discussion about what your commitment means and what is and isn't allowed. It priories the relationship over everything else.
I don't think most people who get married do it for religious reasons or even to start a family in the US anymore. People do it since they see it a formal a commitment and want to announce their love in public.
Navigating interpersonal relationships in a time of evolving gender norms and expectations “requires a level of emotional sensitivity that I think some men probably just lack, or they don’t have the experience,” he added.
I like the quote above about this topic but it does still seem like men are the problem. The problem is that we as a society haven't taught those skills and worse yet reinforce the opposite. We should be concerned with men's internal lives and mold them to fit into modern society
That is a great point and I wish they went further on the better social safety nets. If you really want healthy children that should be the focus regardless of gender of the parent. I think its odd when people talk about how marriage is only for children or you need to be married to have children its gross and so old fashioined.
Exactly. Do better with your money. Hire garden hermits. Make beautiful timeless jewelry or make your own museum. What do they do? Spend it on Super PACs, cars, ugly modern houses and stupid business investments.
My dnd group has a garden hermits outside their base. Well the garden hermits is just one part of the multi personality monster in the basement but same idea
So I know Halloween isn’t a day with a huge meal tradition like xmas or tday, but I’m having some dear friends stay with me that weekend and I would love to cook up something Halloweeny. So I’m curious, do any of you have any go-to meals/dishes for Halloween? No real requirements here, it can be outright spooky/gross or...
I always hated Halloween food that were suppose to be gory or spooky. They end up just looking dumb and don't taste good. Go with a traditional autumn food. I recommend bread and soup.
Why do hardly any straight men write about sex and dating? | Imogen West-Knights (www.theguardian.com)
Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights
Want to Fix America’s Broken Sexual Culture? Ditch the Myth That Young Men Don’t Want Love. (slate.com)
what are your fun, low stakes new year resolutions?
My kiddo and I are having a fruit and vegetable challenge. Each month we’ll seek out a fruit or vegetable we’ve never tried and taste it. My BFF is trying to walk all the greenways in our county (that is county not country, low stakes! Attainabl!). How about you?
It's just science. (mander.xyz)
Spotify Wrapped 2023 is out, what's your top artist and top song for the year?
If you don’t use Spotify, what’s your favorite artist and song right now?
I want to study psychology but won't AI make it redundant in a couple of years?
I know it’s not even close there yet. It can tell you to kill yourself or to kill a president. But what about when I finish school in like 7 years? Who would pay for a therapist or a psychologist when you can ask for help a floating head on your computer?...
Solanum Smoothies (mander.xyz)
What do you do to reduce your use of single use plastics?
I really love the idea of reducing single use plastics in my life. What have you done to successfully reduce or eliminate it?...
Opinion | Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like. (www.nytimes.com)
Harping on people to get married from up in the ivory tower fails to engage with reality of life in the dating trenches.
2010s Pop Feminism: A Painful Look Back (yt.artemislena.eu)
i missed my true calling (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_hermit
Give me your favorite Halloween meals! (beehaw.org)
So I know Halloween isn’t a day with a huge meal tradition like xmas or tday, but I’m having some dear friends stay with me that weekend and I would love to cook up something Halloweeny. So I’m curious, do any of you have any go-to meals/dishes for Halloween? No real requirements here, it can be outright spooky/gross or...