porthos

@porthos@startrek.website

If I abruptly disappear, it isn’t because I don’t love you rather it’s because some jerk used me in his transporter experiment and now I’m stuc… transporter sound

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Where Are All The Bicycles?? (startrek.website)

I have an issue in general with scifi totally ignoring the existence of bicycles, but star trek is particularly fun to think about since in so many situations beaming down in an away team with electric mountain bicycles would be incredibly useful in a basic utilitarian sense. Like shuttles, bicycles could be treated as...

porthos,

I mean once you have flight/hovering vehicles than practically the only transportation that doesn’t make obsolete is a bicycle for transporting someone a mile or two daily from their spaceship to a residence or wherever.

How is using a bicycle clumsy? I mean I get if people don’t like bicycles but honestly a bicycle is just fun to cruise around on, they are the opposite of clumsy.

porthos,

They could just take bmx bikes and beam down right into the action though, maybe even in the middle of a sweet handlebar spin. Are you going to tell me you don’t want to see bmx star trek action?

porthos,

Bicycles don’t necessarily need flat terrain, especially with electric bikes that have futuristic insanely efficient batteries.

Yes bicycles do best on trails but anywhere that has humanoids is going to have trails. Anywhere that has any kind of large animal is going to probably have some degree of path system as well. I don’t think it’s that big of an issue compared to any other kind of ground vehicle.

porthos,

I am so tired of sci-fi futuristic cities that just replicate a highway in the sky complete with crazy stressful traffic and all. It is kind of embarrassing how big of a flaw this is for sci-fi art when a fundamental aspect of the genre is the attempt to gaze far into real and unreal futures.

porthos,

I was doing some D&D world building a while back and wanted to really dive into transportation of people/goods and found the same problem. Tenser’s Floating Disk is a very low level wizard spell that basically does away with all but the heaviest ships and carts. It’s the same for the trek universe. They have personal transportation methods that mean there’s literally zero need for a bicycle for anything other than recreation.

I mean, its all just “magic” at a certain point, they could do everything with a transporter… but they dont so presumably there are reasons not to (even though the real reason is it is a tv show). I have never seen hovercarts used prominently in the live action shows, especially not as a vehicle.

porthos,

Interesting, for me unless I am riding a road bike with a really heads down sitting posture, I find leisurely bicycling around to be a fantastic way to see explore a place and notice things (as long as the place is bike friendly… which in the US…). Far more than getting around by car.

porthos,

I am a dog tho

porthos,

hahaha yup good comparison

porthos,

Interesting, I have heard the expanse is good and that it is more realistic scifi than most. Honestly the reason I haven’t watched it is that people only really seem to mention the fact that the space combat is realistic in the expanse and I just don’t give two flying sh$%s how realistic a scifi universe’s space wars are… I am watching star trek for a reason and that reason is that it isn’t myopically obsessed with war and gritty dark grim universes like 99% of the rest of scifi is sigh. I am fine with space wars, I am fine with grim or dark visions of the future to a certain extent but most scifi can’t ever seem to tell stories about literally anything else. Everything is just black mirror it feels like.

On the subject of black mirror though, I really want to see a black mirror parody episode where bicycles aren’t invented until the 2020s when a techbro invents the “segway 2.0” which is just a normal bicycle. Everyone becomes so addicted to this invention that it tears apart families, society and economies (no more cars being sold??? no oil being sold?? all the car plants close and the economy crashes). Kids overthrow society because they all get bicycles and become addicted to them first and no one can stop them because they are too fast…

porthos, (edited )

I didn’t hate the Kelvin movies, aesthetically though they were trash in that they took a scifi franchise known for inspiring good UI design and expanded upon it with absolutely horrendous UI. Seriously the computers and interiors of those ships are so ugly it hurts.

Also, starfleet felt WAYYYYYYY too much like a military for me in those movies, there was no attempt to differentiate starfleet from a direct analog to the U.S. military and that just gives me that “kind of want to throw up” feeling every time I see it in star trek.

porthos,

I don’t watch much other tv than Star Trek, so I don’t really care if it’s a meme to do this on a tv show but I loved it. I usually hate musicals because the songs feel like they hit pause on the story but this episode was hilarious while also being meaningful.

porthos, (edited )

Can a trombone player please demonstrate and record “confused trombone noises”? Maybe it would be best for a non-trombone player to do so actually…

I am desperately interested in a 10 second sound clip of a confused trombone.

porthos,

That would be the saltiest ship ever.

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