thefartographer

@thefartographer@lemm.ee

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thefartographer,

I remember this mission from High on Life!

thefartographer,

Hey! That’s UNCLE daddy Sam to you! Now go apologize to Aunt Mommy-sister.

thefartographer,

Especially considering that 80% of the passengers will be seated behind the wings. Somehow they still won’t have room in the overhead storage and I’ll have to check my CPAP at the gate.

thefartographer,

i-sand… is-and… isund? iand? Ok, I give up, how are you supposed to pronounce it without the L?

thefartographer,

How the fuck am I supposed to eat soup with all of these bent-ass spoons?!

thefartographer,

Neo, you must meet The Orifice.

thefartographer,

Laowguh-hhhh

thefartographer,

Swede caveman sailor 1: What that?

Swede caveman sailor 2: is land

Swede caveman sailor 1: ö

You’re welcome, I’ve made all of us dumber…

thefartographer,

I’m sorry, I can’t pay the bill… Maybe we can find some… other form of payment?

thefartographer,

In simplest terms, statisticians are stereotypically known for wanting to simplify curves. So, if you see a plot graph of data and notice a cloud of points that appear to angle in a certain direction, statisticians will sometimes draw a line from the first average point to the last average point and say that line represents the data. So the joke is that statisticians throw out the individual data and say the average represents the real world, so three left and three right equals and average of a direct hit.

For the physicist, they’re known for representing everything as spheres to simplify their math and create approximate calculations. This means that back-of-the-envelope calculations will get you close but won’t be precise.

Mathematicians are said to only calculate for one variable at a time, in this case, trajectory without accounting for wind or air resistance. Mathematicians also often joke about using “dots in space.”

The overall joke is that these are three incredibly intelligent people abusing the most boiled down versions of their fields and failing terribly because they refuse to experience the world in anything other than numbers and figures.

I hope you are now able to enjoy the joke more, although I imagine it’s now more tedious than enjoyable.

thefartographer,

A mathematician, physicist, and statistician all go hunting when they come across a deer. The mathematician first calculates for the mass of the round, the muzzle velocity, and drop rate then says “ok, give me the rifle.” He fires and misses by 3 feet to the left. “Miss!” exclaims the statistician.

The physicist takes the rifle and says, “you forgot to calculate for wind velocity!” He does some more calculations between 3 spheres and then says that he’s ready. He fires the rifle and misses by 3 feet to the right.

“We got him!” the statistician excitedly yells as the deer goes running off into the woods.

thefartographer,

It’s because “[insert grade level] Surprise” triggers PTSD in our school shooting survivors students.

thefartographer,

Sorry, you seem to have lost the thread. We’re talking about scary things that happen movies, not current daily real-world issues which could really use our focus but we’re to involved in the media.

Focus on the media, join our ignorant dance.

thefartographer,

Both sides are bad the same way that day-past-expiration milk and arsenic are both yucky

thefartographer, (edited )

Last Christmas, I did a big shart

The very next day, you ran away.

Thiiiiis year, be kind to my rear

And say that my skid marks are special

thefartographer,

That’s another thing my mother and gangster rappers have in common! Aside from being incredibly concerned by my daily choices.

thefartographer,

Stupid woke anti-murder cancel culture. In my day, we got murdered 3 times a week uphill both ways, and we were grateful!

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