Moreso ‘awkward dinner table questioms’ and ‘quick glances to others’. I remember very vividly throughout my teen years that I wanted so desperately to reveal my orientation and (assuming everything went well) get reassurance and validation and yada yada. Every single time I was thinking about it, weighing the risks, someone would say some vile comment about a character on the show we had on, or a snarky question under the assumption that I shared their views, or whatever.
My parents are such a mixed bag; they can be really great caretakers, but fuck me if they can’t be the most dreadful, racist, and condescending people too. My extended family is that but even more.
I came out after a stroke at 21 that I wasn’t supposed to live through. When I did, it was in a therapy (physical, occupational, speech) setting. When my father asked me, “why [did you pick to tell us] here?”, my response was “because if you started to beat me, help is just down the hall [nurses, security]”.
It’s not the divide between who we like to sleep with, but the fact that my (extended) family has very… strong views, and it - along with my changing religious views, and other big factors - pushed me away from them, to solitude. Gatherings of people I don’t like, don’t trust, who think poorly on me because what I think when one passes, or what people and activities I want in my private spaces, enrage me deeply.
I’m glad that it’s not like that everywhere, but damn, I’m surrounded on all sides from where I stand. :(
I had a stroke at 21 that ruined (ended, really) my life. So anytime in late 30s, then get the fuck on blood pressure meds. And bitch-slap all the ‘healthcare providers’ that either didn’t believe me or didn’t actually treat the problem, only the symptoms (blinding, debilitating migraines). Fucking lining their pockets with visits and medication that they knew wasn’t treating the cause.
I knew this day would come! blows the dust off my gateway machine with a P4 @ 1.6GHz Look, it’s even got a fdd, perfect for backup duty! If I could only find that Zip drive though…
Take a second and just let it sink in how fucking stupid that sentence is. Why do I need an application on my phone to use my device efficiently? Why doesn’t the remote have T9-like keys, or voice input? Hell, they invented the click-wheel, come on.
“your new garage door opener uses a pin. since the fob doesn’t have numbers, you just need to unlock your phone and type your pin in that way instead!” would be DOA with the first review. Why is apple getting a pass here?
(I’ve never used the atv, just seen it used by others, and text input wasn’t something they needed)
Automatic response. Nobody that I am close with is actually happy (or even fine), but when staff asks you in greeting if you’re having a good day and did you find everything okay, you know they are bullshitting the “I’m doing well, and yes, thanks”. Same sort of automatic bullshit response.
We are living paycheck to paycheck (some not even that), with slowly rising levels of debt, in dead-end jobs while the earth slowly boils us and rich fucks get richer. In tight-knit circles, suicide is often discussed openly and often, and death is welcomed. My best friend recently told me that (if they die before me, as if lol) when I attend the funeral, if anyone suggests that they had a happy life, I am to punch that person in the face, without hesitation.
Life is pain. But it’s so much quicker to fake that your existence isn’t hell, so lying to people in ways that doesn’t matter is way easier.
Does Dell… not offer a way to update the bios via flash drive or network? The fuck? Every board I’ve ever owned had the option to at least flash from USB.