lemmyshitpost

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byroon, in Bait your mind

This mf said eyaculate

ButtermilkBiscuit,

Bone apple tea

Pat_Riot, in I feel the actual inflation
@Pat_Riot@lemmy.today avatar

Stop trying to make me feel good about inflation.

ieightpi, (edited ) in I do believe they exist

Wait how is nobody talking about this stock photo making no sense? Like what does the rabbit and bucket even fucking mean? And how do you apply that to a meme?

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

The bucket usually has nothing to do with the meme (in most I’ve seen). Though you can add text to mean something.

Shellbeach,

I mean … like that?

pastaPersona, in It’s all about changing your perspective.

Life is cavitappi

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

I like using these instead of penne with the penne ala vodka. Fuck I might be cooking that tonight or sounds really good

PerogiBoi, in I'm never lonely cuz i got these little guys with me :)
@PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca avatar

I got grounded for insisting I saw these when I was younger. I am now vindicated 😎

kratoz29,
@kratoz29@lemm.ee avatar

This seems like a very… Odd reason to get grounded.

Sombyr,

Some parents are weird. I once got grounded because I left my room, forgot something, and went back in to get it. Wasn’t even going anywhere or doing anything important. Just randomly got yelled at and grounded.

PerogiBoi,
@PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca avatar

With my parents it was either agree that they’re right or be punished.

Sombyr,

My dad was like that. I remember a moment where my dad couldn’t understand the solution to the Monty Hall problem, so I tried to explain it to him and instantly got yelled at and sent to my room for contradicting him.

PerogiBoi,
@PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca avatar

Let’s never repeat this bullshit narcissism to our kids if we choose to have em.

Sombyr,

Are you coming onto me?

Ah, just kidding. In seriousness though, I’ve chosen not to have kids on account of being so mentally fucked up by my childhood that I don’t want to put a kid through having me as a parent.

Although luckily my dad did mellow out with age. He’d kinda also been equally fucked up by his own childhood and refused to seek help until I’d left, my mom left, and later my old sibling left, and I refused to speak with him anymore. Last year I got a massive, 4 page, single spaced apology from him for everything he’d done, so luckily things are looking up at least.

PerogiBoi,
@PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca avatar

That’s good to hear at least that your dad somewhat came around. Mine left the family and sued us (lost but cost me tens of thousands in legal fees) and ran off with all the money. He now has a second family.

smeg, (edited )

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.

This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin

TheRealKuni,

I wish I’d known this before I heard it in Ted Lasso, but damn that episode was good regardless.

feedum_sneedson,

I pronounced “nuclear” wrong.

RizzRustbolt, in I do believe they exist

puts on Merzbow

honk-chewwww honk-chewwww honk-chewwww

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

A late good friend of mine was a mad fan.

jaybone, in The duality of Lemmy

I’m not out of smells.

Fubarberry, in If only there was a GOOD fish with a gun to save them!
@Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz avatar

To be fair, if some fish had guns and used them in self defense it would absolutely stop me from ever fishing again.

CarbonIceDragon,
@CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social avatar

There’s a kind of fish called an archerfish that shoots jets of water from it’s mouth at insects to knock them down. Those ones probably have the mental capacity for calculating trajectories to at least aim one I imagine, if you gave them a weapon modified with some kind of mechanism for one to fire it

Viking_Hippie, (edited )

Archerfish have NOTHING on mantis shrimp, though:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/f63d0c2a-31ac-4677-aede-a397b7538f03.jpeg

Source: The Oatmeal

c0mbatbag3l,
@c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world avatar
Viking_Hippie,

😘👌 🤣

Pinklink, in Cock check

👍❤️🤣

late_night,
@late_night@sopuli.xyz avatar

Small curved hexagon, got it

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Profound

MrNesser, in Cock check

4/6

IGuessThisIsForNSFW, in Taste the Pain

Yeeeees let the XRA memes flow!

Gabu, in Get to work, crackheads

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but people who don’t follow vehicle operation laws and safety deserve to be punished severely.

Octopus1348, in The duality of Lemmy
@Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

Is that Eternity?

fogstormberry,

it is. I was so confused why just one post had smaller text. otherwise it completely blended into my feed

shasta, in Peak organization

I understand the joke, I think. But what do the devil and Jesus have to do with it? If either one of them is evil it’s what Jesus is saying, so that can’t be it. What am I missing here?

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

It’s just a common shitpost format out there that’s playing off of those unironic religious posts that you might see on FB or something. I see good/bad get flipped back and forth as part of the joke.

knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-child-will-x

yesman, in If only there was a GOOD fish with a gun to save them!

Ooooh, America bad, they’re shooting their obese healthcare again.

Jokes on you, he’s not shooting the fish, he’s shooting the woke rainbow. Get it straight.

alquicksilver,
@alquicksilver@lemmy.world avatar

And if some of the fish happen to get killed in the process, that’s just a bonus.

XEAL,

I’ve seen “joke’s on you” written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

lugal,

Jokes on you, there ain’t no apostrophe

RaoulDook,

Jokes on you, a plural amount of them, must be what they mean. Where are the rest of the jokes motherfuckers!?

nxdefiant,

Perhaps he is addressing the jokes directly.

brbposting,

That was a[n unspecified] quantity of jokes.

Like 5, 6… maybe 7!… jokes on you.

CileTheSane,
@CileTheSane@lemmy.ca avatar

I’ve seen “joke’s on you” written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

American education system.

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