The sneaky scrawlings start at the end of a cultic ritual text written in Hittite – the oldest known Indo-European tongue – after an introduction that essentially translates to: “From now on, read in the language of the country of Kalašma”. Kalašma is referencing an organized society from the Bronze Age, which probably sat on the northwest fringe of the much larger Hittite Empire in ancient Anatolia – some distance from the capital city of Hattusa, where this clay tablet was later unearthed.
The article goes on to describe the Hittite culture and why they preserved foreign rituals in their original tongue.
“Ayyye, I cast me evil eyyyye upon me neighbour, Garbbeus Vardicus Melatonus, I ken. Saba-ka-boo, a meta-ga-doo, a bibbiti, bobbiti-GYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! BE THAT A SMALL PENIS DANGLING FROM YOND WINDCHIME?!?”
“Yes,” her black cat whispers from her mounded shoulders, “A tiny penis.”
"Scandalous Effectus Mandellus, neighbour of me neighour, I cast upon you me evil eyyyye…"
That’s just a frozen hunk of poopy. You see airplanes dump their toilets at 36000 feet and it freezes and falls down to earth. With call those Boeing bombs.
This is absolutely fantastic. I wish more mesoamerican written works had survived the Spanish Inquisition, but having access to this in full is a treasure.
Ooh, my favorite surgery factoid… Robert Liston had a patient die of infection after a surgery, as did his assistant, whose fingers he accidentally amputated in the process. A witness to this event died of shock.
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