king_dead,

Google colonoscopy prep

space_gecko,

Holy crap

Wild_Mastic,

New turd just dropped

Rentlar,

Epic tier shitpost. Thanks for posting for the de-fedded instances that can't see @mizu 's post.

PelicanPersuader,
@PelicanPersuader@beehaw.org avatar

Is this the first Lemmy legend story, like the jolly rancher one is for Reddit?

Kissaki,
@Kissaki@feddit.de avatar
sussy_gussy,

OP here asks the opposite question

gamingdexter,
@gamingdexter@lemmy.ml avatar

Can’t wait to see, “New Social Platform Taking off from no Poop Post” as headlines of main streaming media sites. Thank you

Fizz,
@Fizz@lemmy.nz avatar

Why are there so many experts on this topic.

SomeGuyNamedPaul,

Oh wow, a topic for which I'm somewhat of an expert.

Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it's still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you're eating it but not as it's passing, and passing fast.

With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.

The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called "chitosan". It's like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you'll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you'll probably have bowel movements so horrible you'll have to register them with some kind of government agency.

Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.

shroomato,
@shroomato@lemmy.world avatar

The fuck is wrong with you Greg

Silviecat44,

Lemmy Lore

diffaldo,

Mmh i like opposite posting

tallwookie,
@tallwookie@lemmy.world avatar

Stage 1:

  • 3 bunches of bananas, 2 lbs cooked rice, 1 loaf of white bread (toasted)

Stage 2:

  • 1 gallon of liquid laxative
  • 1 gallon of franks red hot
  • a 3 gallon bucket
  • a ladle

consume stage 1 & wait 3 hours. consume stage 2. repeat as necessary

resin85,

GOOD advice to preserve 1 gallon of space in the bucket. Proper ladle size for this application will require large displacement.

faltuuser,

Commenting to show that I was here for the first Lemmy moment.

boopdepop,

Might as well include me in the screenshot too. I was here

CFinley97,

Eff it, commenting to show I was here

CCatMan,

Kiwis Red pepper flakes Spinach Water

You can add these to a blender to help digest even faster.

You can also pick up some high fiber cereal.

But yeah I think your stomach is not going to be happy.

MementoMori,
@MementoMori@lemmy.ml avatar

This is the high quality content I come here for.

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