“Masking” is a thing neurodivergent people talk about a lot, but it’s comparable to comparing “normal clothes” and costumes or drag. There is no “normal.” When you get dressed for the day, you’re putting on a costume. Maybe it’s a business suit or a uniform, but maybe it’s just “your look” for the day.
The thing is that “you” don’t exist. There’s memory continuity of the consciousness that drives your body each day, but how you act to other people, the beliefs you have, and the clothes you wear are all part of a complex construction that you think of as yourself. But none of that is individually “you.” If you put on a costume, you would probably act different: you’d be “in-character” but you probably don’t think about this as being a different you, you still feel like yourself, just wearing a costume.
But if you changed your clothes, changed your interactions with others, changed your beliefs, then people would say “you’ve changed” as though you had shifted into a different person.
Everyone puts on masks for different groups of people. You wear a professional mask at work, an extrovert mask when out with friends, an intimate mask (which maybe feels like no mask at all) with family. Social media puts social pressure and often monetary pressure behind maintenance of a particular mask/identity. The fact that so many people are aware of the artiface of it is what you’re seeing.
It used to be that most people’s days were split up into a home period, a work period, a recreational period, etc. With the modern “always online, always available” world, our masks have become fluid and a constant part of us. Instead of putting on your work face in the morning and taking it off after a long day, you have to constantly be ready to break out the correct persona at any time, depending on who is contacting you on the phone. This leads to more “cracks” in the masks. People aren’t “more fake,” they’re revealing more of themselves than intended because the masks keep slipping. This doesn’t necessarily reveal any “true self” either because there is no such thing. Rather it let’s the common parts slip out more (most people hide a lot of their personal selves from work colleagues) and reveals the contradictions in the other parts that normally can embe kept seperate.
My wife works in a highschool and feels like you do, not so much fake but addicted and you have to put on a facade like if you are walking to class alone you should be on your phone pretending to be messaging someone or else you’ll feel awkward
Nah you’re just struggling with mental gymnastics. I like to call it “who” and where reconstruction… It’s normal to feel that way with social media, vs real life normal conversations
You check your newsfeed, you read or see something, then get emotional, you feel like you need to rationalize a response to something that is like explaining to someone why you jumped to try to pull binoculars to see something when you’re basically just seeing funny symbols through a window.
Because that’s what looking at internet comments and arguing with people on the internet often if is. Your brain sometimes actively needs to stress test your adversity chunking models and agency detection.
Agency detection, is what you’re observing sentient or a potential threat? If so can you detect the window or scope that your looking through, can you rationalize potential bias, and adversity chunking, check to chunk what potential threats there are together into one big lump and act racist to make things easier and de-stress yourself from the imaginary threat
If you took this borderline narcissism and paranoia to the extreme you could just become a conspiracy theorist, but you could also just get a wicked sense of humour and have a better degree of self awareness, I get it because I have in the past sometimes felt the same, it’s how we are when we feel that we’re stuck in a response cycle and get a kind of emotional “decision fatigue” I dunno, that’s just my take, and I could be entirely wrong, feel free to speak your mind or challenge me, but that’s just my two cents for now and part of why I prefer not to doomscroll too much these days.
Just consider that the average person probably has heaps of compressed and distorted subconscious memories that can be further distorted, deleted or hidden entombed in lies, misunderstandings or dreams, and that from the perspective of a silicon based chip, the human mind usually knows itself better than outsiders however the landscape of a mind is a dangerous place and doubly so because if a chip or even bacteria entering the brain could inadvertently screw things up and destroy or corrupt memories it’s a wonder anyone can remember a beer or brief conversation they’ve had several years ago but forget what they ate for dinner just last week. If the human brain was to detect a silicon chip attempting to act on it, we really have no idea what would happen,…
Okay, goodnight guys hope you enjoyed reading my dumb sci-fi long ass post (my lame attempt at humour here)
I think social media has the ability to make things impossible to ignore, things that previously people were able to ignore.
Things such as police brutality, mass shootings, for instance, probably were just as common back then as it is now. But now we’re paying attention to it. I think it’s the same thing here. People have always had a different public and personal life. It would be incredibly odd if someone didn’t. But social media is making people pay attention to the fact that there’s some people whose private lives are ugly, but who try to project a perfect public life anyways.
For instance, if Pinker is correct, then any sane person who had to choose between (a) the violent chaos and abject poverty of the ‘tribal’ stage in human development and (b) the relative security and prosperity of Western civilization would not hesitate to leap for safety. But empirical data is available here, and it suggests something is very wrong with Pinker’s conclusions.
Over the last several centuries, there have been numerous occasions when individuals found themselves in a position to make precisely this choice – and they almost never go the way Pinker would have predicted. Some have left us clear, rational explanations for why they made the choices they did.
Graeber goes on to give a couple of these accounts. They tend to mention a loneliness associated with “western civilization,” as well as a feeling that I think lines up very well with what Marx described as alienation.
Some emphasized the virtues of freedom they found in Native American societies, including sexual freedom, but also freedom from the expectation of constant toil in pursuit of land and wealth.
Later in the book, and I apologize that I can’t find the reference right now, he comes back to this topic for a little bit, and talks about the depths of relationships that these people describe, and how their relationships in the “civilized” world are more shallow and less satisfying. Deep human relationships are the opposite of fake, so I think here we have a point in favor of “yes.”
Add to that that the concept of “privacy” as we know it is relatively new. It’s been 10+ years since I read a book about this, the title of which I can’t even remember, but it argued that the expectation of domestic privacy, even from one’s own family, is a phenomenon from the last few hundred years, especially outside the elite. People lived far, far more communally, with the expectation that they just were in each other’s business more. I’d argue that it’s a lot harder to be fake if you can’t hide who you really are.
Between those two things, I think it’s reasonable to argue that yes, society has gotten more fake.
What if, let’s say, that person has something to hide… nothing dangerous or that might cause harm to others, something that society frowns upon. My reasoning is that, it would be OK to be “fake” in those circumstances.
Anyone can watch videos of some african villages being visited by outsiders and how happy the local population generally appear. There’s a ton of negative stuff for those people to deal with, but I think there’s something to be said about the benefits of communal living no matter how much I try to convince myself it’s fine being by myself.
asklemmy
Hot
This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.