Both are pure propaganda - Israel, and the western countries that backs it, wants to pretend that this is some “new” conflict and not the very same one Israel has been waging non-stop against Palestinians since 1949.
Basically there were arguments about land for 70 years (arabs never agreed to any compromise). Then on 7th October, Hamas (a terrorist organization) attacked Israel and Israel responded (they had a right to) but it’s debatable whether the response was appropriate.
And so there are big losses on both sides but more people from Gaza were killed.
Israel left Gaza in 2005. There are no settlements there. Hamas is only in Gaza.
Regarding the West Bank, according to the international law, some areas are illegally occupied. In addition, even the Supreme Court of Israel has ruled that Israel is holding West Bank under “belligerent occupation”.
The west bank counts as part of Palestine. That’s all I said. And to my knowledge Hamas uses those settlements to further their agenda of ‘Israel bad’.
and Israel responded (they had a right to) but it’s debatable whether the response was appropriate.
Are you kidding me? Their “response” was bombing ~2 million innocent people out of their homes and telling them that they shouldn’t have been there. Imagine if someone from Japan bombed China, and China’s response was bombing random people in Tokyo.
Their response was absolutely not appropriate unless you love genocide. The situation is not nuanced, people act like it is so they don’t have to take a side.
I do not necessarily agree with that. The main goal have always been to get rid of terrorists but because they are in the middle of inhabited zones, it’s actually quite tough not to end up with civil causalities.
I’m going to buck the trend here and advise the more conservative position. I took a developer job in the insurance industry right out of college, and I have no regrets. The work is rarely exciting, but it’s stable and not very demanding. I have great work life balance. And developer jobs in non tech related industries seem to be largely immune to the upheavals and layoffs currently affecting the tech world.
Ya I chose the safe job, I thought about it and the other job was reallly similar to my last one so I thought I’d at least get new experience while I wait for the Software market to bounce back a bit more
I’ve been poly for over a decade. Met my now-wife at a poly event.
Other partners have come and gone for each of us.
A lot of people like to blame non-monogamy for issues between individuals, but, like, if some people can make poly work, that tells me whatever issues were likely caused by problematic individuals, not by polyamory.
Thanks for the input - I agree that poly isn’t the problem, people are the problem.
This particular person had to learn the hard way how to say ‘I love you, I will not leave you, and with that in mind, I’d like to fuck _____’ More difficult than it seems, but hardly a torpedo to the relationship - barring a random announcement out of nowhere.
My wife and I have been poly for going on a decade now and my girlfriend has been part of the equation since damn near the beginning.
My wife, girlfriend & I all jointly own our home together and things have been great!
I (male, cis-het) don't date outside the two of them (I don't have that kind of time!) ... both of the ladies have other partners though, mostly with the goal of them being long term, but like most relationships (poly or mono) they generally fizzle out for one reason or another. Wife has a partner that's been pretty stable for almost a year though and girlfriend has a LDR that's been strong for 5ish years.
We've all "come out" to our family and friends long ago, mostly with no blowback. I am not close with people at my current job, so they don't know, but, I also use the words 'wife' and 'girlfriend' so if they haven't picked up on it, it's not because I'm omitting, I'm just not telling people that don't need to know about my personal life the specifics about my personal life.
If you were to judge monogamy by the shit that pops up in relationship advice threads, people would have a bad impression of it as well!
If you were to judge monogamy by the shit that pops up in relationship advice threads, people would have a bad impression of it as well!
That’s the truth.
My day job is FinTech/tax adjacent, so I have to give you collectively (and your collective web of relationships) credit for making the home ownership work. The overwhelming majority of humans can’t make tenants in common between two people work.
Personally, I’'m not particularly close with my family for other reasons, so being ‘out’ isn’t a real concern - given a wife and girlfriend in that long-term context, I’d write the requisite will / medical POA to be fair, and to ensure that blood relatives aren’t executing either.
I’m somewhat close with folks at work, but I WFH for a company that’s fairly progressive. One of the people I started with recently asked us to address them in a specific way, and I couldn’t be happier for them. If I called my boss “Joe,” and they asked me to call them “Mr. Smith”, that’s no different.
I very much like your strategy of “truthful but no obvious” There isn’t a need at work for a full-fledged explanation of my home life, but I also work with good people who don’t blink at the miscellaneous terms I (or they) use to describe the people who are important to us. That’s how it’s supposed to work - we all share what we feel comfortable with, and other people share in our joys/sorrows regarding the same. Only the level of detail changes, really.
I switch between the two beds. We'll occasionally all pile into one King size bed, but, at least one person doesn't get a good night's sleep when we do, so, it's not an all the time kind of thing for us.
I worked with a married couple many years back. Then they had a kid. So they split their shifts since daycare costs to damn much for 2 Perkins cooks. So they very little of each other. So they went to an open relationship model because “needs”. One of the male managers known for hitting in and fucking all waitresses (because he controlled their schedule…) took the opportunity to start plowing her too. The husband… Thought he had game and thought he could get someone at work. He couldn’t. So that had to be a fun dynamic. The husband and wife’s manager working side by side with both of them and the manager was having a baby with one of his other conquests that also work there. Their marriage quickly fell apart and people’s opinion of her and the manager and the husband took a leap off a cliff. Before all of that they were a very happy couple and great friends to be with. Afterwards they were all insufferable and the child pays for all this.
Knew another couple, married, with for kids. They moved to a open relationship model… Probably for plethora of reasons, Part of me believes that she misses her early twenties party girl that she used to be. Turns out being in mid-30s and having four kids and being married really limits the type of guys that you get. Her former husband moved on with life. And she now has a fifth kid with someone that was a temp boyfriend.
I’ve been in a polyamorous relationship with my wife for 23 years. We started poly and still are. Not counting relationships that lasted a date or two she has had three relationships that lasted between Hall a year and a year and a half. I’ve had one long term that lasted eight years.
We aren’t the jealous types so it’s been mostly good with the normal relationship ups and downs combined with the elevated logistical problems that are inherent in poly relationships.
Fori us it’s great and we wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll also say there is nothing like waking up on the weekend to the sound of your wife and girlfriend laughing in the kitchen while having coffee.
I dated a woman who was polyamorous and I was fine with it.
When she found someone else she was also interested in, she asked me if that was an issue, but I was still fine with it.
The other guy wasn’t fine with it.
She chose to stay with him and dumped me.
Everyone always going to polyamory because of a bad relationship in there monogamous relationship is why there’s so much bad negativity about it.
It’s just consenting adults who love each other.
Still have the same drama and problems of monogamous relationships. But more problems and less problems, yet slightly different ,The same with anything
I shall say this though. DO NOT ADD ANOTHER PERSON BECAUSE OF YOUR FAILING RELATIONSHIP. it won’t work. Ever.
I would want to add more but it’s so incredibly much my brain can’t process and type that much.
DO NOT ADD ANOTHER PERSON BECAUSE OF YOUR FAILING RELATIONSHIP
It’s insane to me that this apparently must be said by multiple people with massive emphasis. We only considered this because our relationship was and still is so strong. We just met really young and have a lot of love to give. I don’t want to lose my wife or have had only one great romance in my life. She didn’t want marrying a woman to mean she would never experience men again. So we share the incredible bounty of love in which we live.
I’m a bit older than my wife, but your point rings true - we also met fairly young, and went through some stuff. That’s probably a meaningful part of how and why we are who we are.
Meeting my wife fairly young meant that I got the raw, unfiltered version of her feelings and was able to compare/contrast that with my behavior - and improve it. That led to trust allowing discussion of involving others, and an understanding that neither of us is going anywhere / associated trust.
My general rules in a polyamorous relationship. Well guidelines as rules are so just off putting. But as long as it’s consensual equitable and pleasurable for all involved, it’s ok.
While I wouldn’t necessarily go to bed with all of them, there are a number of people who have deeply impacted my life in distinct ways, and from whom I have learned a great deal. Hell, I don’t even like all of them, but that doesn’t mean they’re not a meaningful part of my life.
Agree with your take on adding another person to solve problems - always a terrible idea.
My idea of ‘consenting adults’ has morphed significantly between, say, 21 and… my current age. Even the subsets of ‘consent’ and ‘adult’ have morphed. But at the end of the day, honesty is all that we have.
I adore spending time with my wife - whether we’re ‘doing’ something’ together, or doing individual things we can talk about later.
Poly means never running out of topics of conversation, or ways to understand each other.
‘Why her?’ really means 'Our relationship evolves, as all relationship should, what interest you about her and how can I support you?"
That “how can I support you?” question is critical, and we’ve been married long enough that I never doubt the legitimacy of the question.
My wife and I are poly. Neither of us have found a long term person yet (Wife isn’t really looking because she is graysexual and doesn’t really want any additional deep emotional connections), but we’ve met a few great people who probably could have worked but for one or two incompatibilities. I’ve seen enough over the past two years to see that it definitely can work.
Wife isn’t really looking because she is graysexual and doesn’t really want any additional deep emotional connections
This kinda describes my wife’s boyfriend’s wife. (That was just fun to type out) Basically, because of the place and way she was raised, she didn’t understand that she was ace until she had two kids, and her sex life continued to exist. She was/is more or less done with that part of her life. She has two kids and a husband and a home, and that’s why she was having sex to begin with. As long as she has those things, she doesn’t care that her husband does things she does not enjoy with some other women. She’s happy with the way her life is. Plz don’t make her add sex back into the equation.
Poly was actually my wife’s idea for many of the reasons you list above. It’s not just sex though, my wife is also not a touchy feely person, and I am, as she calls me, a cuddle monster. Thankfully we are good at communicating and deeply love each other, and so were able to navigate all of this without arguing, yelling, etc…
I recently attended a polyamorous wedding where one pair of individuals in the polycule were formalizing their individual bond/commitment to each other (but both still remaining in the larger structure of the 5-6 person polyromantic/polyamorous constellation.) It was cute! All the other members of the group walked the bride and groom down the aisle and gave cute best-man-style speeches instead of a religious ceremony.
I enjoyed the event and they all seemed really happy.
It didn’t involve the assistant manager of a cheap motel, did it? I guess if you were the person I know who had that experience, you’d probably recognize my name and story.
As far as I’m aware in included a fitness instructor and a mechanical engineer. There may have been a motel manager in there somewhere that I just never learned about.
Not much. I’m what many might call a relationship anarchist and this can translate into polyamory, especially when QPR’s are a part of the equation (same with my closest friends but in a more meta way), but I’m not in any and never have been. I was offered the chance though because a classmate in middle and high school began aspiring to a polygamist relationship (LGBT relationships were already a thing and I guess my class got ideas) and managed to appeal to a bunch of other classmates. The core classmate of the relationship then had to move though (the family’s mom got a job somewhere else) and that created a weird sense of withdrawal among the participants.
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