asklemmy

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hemko, in What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand?

Back when me and my wife started dating, it was a long distance relationship and we agreed that it’s OK if we see other people too. Neither of us did, but I feel like “expanding relationship” should only happen when your primary deal is in healthy state and not to try fix issues in it by dating someone else.

TheBananaKing,

Yep, ‘opening up’ to fix a bad relationship is as terrible an idea as having a child to fix one.

Poly relationships are fine and great and positive, but they absolutely need a solid, healthy foundation to rest on.

captainlezbian,

Yeah the way I like to describe that is that nonmonogamy can solve relationship problems but only the ones caused by needing nonmonogamy. Alternatively learning poly philosophies has done wonders for some monogamous people I know. They may not get compersion from a partner seeing someone else, but they do have the words to recognize and appreciate the happiness of being a loved one’s joy. And they communicate great too.

gnuplusmatt, in What are your criteria for upvoting/downvoting?

my instance has downvotes disabled - it allows me to move on with my life. Only upping just seems more zen

IbnLemmy, in What do I put on my resume when the contract owner of my job changes?

Put the name of the most recent one.

Only exception is if your department moved from a well known brand to a small brand, then put the well know brand in.

Don’t forget, a CV is all about selling.

shinigamiookamiryuu, in What are your criteria for upvoting/downvoting?

I upvote any reply to anything I say and everything I reply to as a way of remembering where I’ve engaged. The only exceptions are things with clear perspective-lacking malice.

southsamurai, in What are your criteria for upvoting/downvoting?
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

Generally, it’s based on appropriateness to the C/, effort, and usefulness.

There are exceptions, though there aren’t any on C/s that I actually use. But there might be eventually, there were on reddit.

If something doesn’t fit the C/, that’s a down vote if I notice it.

If something is horribly low effort, even if it’s in the right place, that’ll be a down vote.

Upvotes, it tends to be because something was appropriate to the C/, and/or someone put some work in. But, even a low effort post/comment can get an up vote if it’s personally useful.

I used to up vote anything and everything that was on topic, but lemmy has gotten busy enough that I tend to only vote at all if I interact with the post in some way. So, like a title that indicates the post isn’t something that will interest me, I just scroll past because there’s just so much stuff now. But, I scroll All, and sort by new by default, so I end up scrolling past stuff that isn’t in my subscription list. If I only scrolled through subscribed stuff, I’d probably end up voting the same amount, but voting on everything I saw, if that makes sense.

Nalivai, in Which internet meme, if somehow erased from ever emerging, might have the biggest impact?

Fucking wojacks. Disappearance of this cancer will bring significant benefit to me specifically because I wouldn’t have to endure those ugly drawings. Fucking trollface was better than this hell.

ShitOnABrick,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

Wojacks soyjacks chuds chuddle and chad memes can be really funny

also humor is subjective what you may dislike someone else may like

Nalivai,

I am willing to sacrifice all five funny memes you are talking about, if it means I will not have to look at all the “I depicted you as this ugly undesirable wojak saying stupid things therefore I won” bullshit ever again.

TheMechanic,

Rage comics were better and were actually a modern form of Commedia dell’arte or Masked Theatre, in such that it used stock characters and so plot could be both meaningful but simple. Wojacks lack implied character and context, so story or character depth requires explanation which doesn’t usually work as well with that form

Knusper, in How are "We" to place trust in the fediverse?

I’m mostly a fan, because I don’t feel like I have to have faith.

If my instance explodes, I’ll make an account on another instance. If the Lemmy devs collectively evaporate (and neither me nor others want to pick up the slack), then I can go to Mastodon or Kbin or whatever.

Individual rogue instances can be defederated. If e.g. Reddit truely disappears over night and Lemmy were to gain mass market appeal, then I can likely find a more isolated instance with a smaller community sharing my interests.

sbv, in How are "We" to place trust in the fediverse?

Who cares? If baddies subvert the backend, the worst case scenario is that I get lower quality memes.

I care slightly more about clients. Those run in sandboxes on your phone or browser, so they’re probably fine-ish too.

🤷

Inept,

Teach me your ways. I want to learn.

Zak, (edited ) in How are "We" to place trust in the fediverse?
@Zak@lemmy.world avatar

What do you mean by “trust”?

Do I trust that vanilla Lemmy code doesn’t contain something nefarious, such as code that detects political positions it doesn’t like and reduces their visibility? Sure. It would be hard to hide something like that.

Do I trust that major servers aren’t secretly running software that manipulates content? Mostly yes. I think it would get noticed since there are lots of vanilla servers to compare behavior to.

Do I trust that all the software is well-designed and bug-free? I write software for a living. No software is bug-free and most of it isn’t well-designed.

Do I trust that everyone who runs a fediverse server isn’t an asshole? Absolutely not. Any jackass can run a server. I run a Mastodon server (on which all users are me).

BigBlackCockroach,
@BigBlackCockroach@lemmy.world avatar

How can people join your mastodon?

Zak,
@Zak@lemmy.world avatar

They can be my really close friends or family and ask me for an account, which I would actively discourage (join something well-run like .world) but eventually allow if they really wanted to.

mnemonicmonkeys,

I also choose this guy’s Mastodon server

backhdlp, in What are your criteria for upvoting/downvoting?
@backhdlp@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Upvote if I find the post good and remember it exists, downvote disabled

Chetzemoka, in What are your criteria for upvoting/downvoting?

I’m pretty liberal with the upvotes. I like to encourage people to participate and an upvote feels like saying “hey I see you and thanks for sharing.” I regularly upvote things I don’t like or don’t agree with, if they are shared in good faith and contribute to the conversation.

Downvotes are for bigots and misinformation/disinformation/lies.

penquin, in Where can I find a desktop Lemmy app?
@penquin@lemmy.kde.social avatar

I use Alexandrite and Voyager. Just install them as a webapp on PC

leraje, in How are "We" to place trust in the fediverse?
@leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I have quite a lot of faith, but I think the majority of my faith is that whilst you’re right that abuses can happen because some people are cunts, there seems to be a groundswell of willingness to react to that possibility and tackle it.

The relatively recent CSAM attack on .world Communities is a prime example of that. Code was written and systems put into place (not by the lead developers it has to be said but by @db0 and others) to tackle that threat.

Illecors,

You’re pointing at the ugliest corner there is, and yet I’d like to point out that there’s been that kind of attack yesterday and the day before; and the tools and people reacted well enough for it to go unnoticed for most folk on the fediverse.

TheOneWithTheHair, (edited ) in How are "We" to place trust in the fediverse?
@TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world avatar

This is a social media website. If you don’t trust it, no one is making you use it.

I came here for the same reasons as most of you

Ah, so you’re tired of Reddit’s manipulation of mods and users?

Inept,

Understood and agreed.

Nobody is making any of us use The Software^™^, my question concerns your decision. Trust is an entirely separate concept and varies greatly depending on the audience.

BTW, It’s not just Reddit. ;)

Kolanaki, in What are your criteria for upvoting/downvoting?
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

90% of the time, I just accidentally hit one of the arrows while scrolling on my phone and didn’t notice.

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