I had three years of my life where every thing that could go wrong, went wrong. Among other things, a divorce and losing both parents. I’m invincible now. Nothing rattles me.
The beginning of the year, I lost my best friend of over 35 years to an overdose- nine days ago I lost my dog of over 15 years, and now my mother is intubated in a hospital 3,000 miles away because of severe liver damage causing internal bleeding and I can’t go to her because I currently have chronic maxillary sinus infections and and cannot fly.
When elections were held some wanted to not allow armed groups to participate but ultimately they were allowed. hamas killed competitors. its basically not really democratically elected. it was but not at the power levels it eventually took.
I know of two couples that dabble in it to some extent. One as far as I know is unicorn-hunting, because their rules for it suggest a 3rd member genuinely capturing someone’s heart would lead to relationship implosion of epic proportions, and I suspect that couple isn’t mature or stable enough to be doing what they’re doing without leaving people open for hurt. Not that I have any say in it, lol. But I feel sorry for any thirds that interact with them thinking there’s even a chance of them being an equal partner.
The other couple has much better communication skills, and claim they’re poly, but as far as I can tell from the outside “poly” has happened as an attempt to save the marriage. Maybe they’ll make it work, but I’ve watched them make some dumb mistakes, and the wife has jealous behaviors when women interact with the husband and a history of bending to his needs before her own so I think even if she says they’re poly she might have talked herself into it as a way to attend to him.
I think healthy poly is possible–but it requires extremely mature individuals with exceptional communication skills, and that’s rare even in monogamous couples.
I try to upvote most things I see, especially if someone took the time to comment under one of my posts.
If I downvote, it’s usually because I see someone is actively being rude or is trying to steer something light into something controversial to bait arguments.
I’ve found that the Risa community very much uses downvotes to disagree. I made a harmless joke and got dogpiled on, including a very toxic and rude comment from Stamets.
Since you are a highly respected member there, and really all of Lemmy, I think it would be greatly beneficial for you to openly advocate for people sticking to your logic when it comes to downvotes.
Thanks. I appreciate the sentiment. It is the internet after all so I basically always expect toxicity to some extent, but I was just surprised at the extreme disproportion of the response. Also, I expected more from Lemmy and in particular Risa, but I guess that’s on me.
I’ve found that Lemmy tends to be about 50% more chill than reddit, but it definitely has some similar challenges. I try to be positive on a personal level and try to support others who I see doing the same.
In my experience so far (just a few months) Risa has been one of the most friendly places on lemmy - maybe it was just a full moon or something? Whatever the case, I say positive people are always welcome.
All I know is Hamas rules at least some subset of the Palestinian people, and has for seventeen years. They were elected back then, but there have been no elections since.
A non-elected government ruling people who are prevented from owning weapons has, predictably, resulted in Hamas having enormous contempt for the people they rule, and using them as civilian cannon fodder.
Married 13 yrs as of the end of October. We’ve played with others, and have standing permission to “get things going,” but I find the wedding ring to (understandably) be a turnoff. My personal preferences mean that it’s difficult to meet people I’m interested in and who are likely to believe any reasonable explanation for ‘even though I’m wearing a ring, we are all on the same page.’
It is by definition much easier for my wife / both of us, to find a man who is both interested and dealing in good faith than for me to approach a woman successfully.
I don’t harbor any jealousy or concern with regards to my wife, she simply has an easier time with it. One can blame that on the lies that cheating men have told over many centuries, I’m sure.
I’ve encountered a number of women in whom I’d be interested, but… I refuse to take my ring off just to have a chance at meeting someone. Not just because “reasons” and “ethics,” but also because I know for a fact that up-front disclosure is the better path.
“No, I wasn’t wearing a ring when I met you, but I’m married,” is not the way to start off a poly relationship from where I sit. It is, however, an excellent way to scare off the folks who are open to the same.
Neither of us is looking for threesomes per se, and neither of us is willing to dissemble and then later ask forgiveness of the third party.
Haven’t posted all that much on the topic, so… Fuckit. We’ve been married for almost fifteen years. We found a play partner around the five-year mark. That lasted as long as it lasted, and was a great deal of fun - both in person and via internet, subject to collective needs. That person could have handled things better, and I could have handled their less than ideal behavior better. I own my part, there. It wasn’t intended to be long term, and that’s fine - it introduced us to both the lifestyle and the risks, and I am cognizant of what I did right and what I did wrong at the tine.
We’re in a more liberal town than where we spent much of our marriage, but it’s still tough to meet people. Some of that is due to my WFH arrangement, as I don’t get out as much as ‘normal’ folks, but I would absolutely not sleep with someone I worked with anyway - I’m a professional, it has the potential to get really ugly, and could very well ruin my reputation.
Dating sites have proven unhelpful, though much of that was while living in “Kettlecorn, KS” where my wife grew up. Trying to do this in the midwest is ‘hard mode’ to say the least.
I’m not even looking for women a fraction of my age (and I’m not that damn old to begin with), but any introduction brings with it the risk of judgement / ‘If you weren’t married…’
I consider it a damn shame that consensual poly is not more mainstream - people will meet people, and have chemistry, and have sex as a result. Advance consent, in whatever form the couple finds appropriate, prevents literally all of the unpleasantness, feelings of betrayal, etc.
Not an expert at this stuff, but also fairly sure my experience is not incredibly outside the norm.
Downvoting a post because they weren't the first to respond is silly. Do you compare time stamps or just something with fewer upvotes and lolisted lower on the screen?
It just seems like a weird reason to downvote, and I downvote pretty freely.
Interesting content gets updoot. Spam, misinformation, and conservative politics get the downdoot.
For comments:
Relevant to the discussion (be it top-level or deep in a thread), funny, and factual statements get updoots. Irrelevant comments, false information, poor argumentative skills, and conservative political get the downdoot.
That’s shitty imo. I’m on the left but there’s plenty of conservative politics that aren’t extreme or worthy of burying.
My old coworker was conservative and we had some amazing conversations about politics and culture even though we usually didn’t budge much on our positions. He was my favorite person to talk to about it because he brought in “the other side” that I wasn’t otherwise exposed to.
To the guy I replied to, they’re apparently one in the same. But I’m definitely referring to the former. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone telling you to pump the brakes when you’re cruising on an idea ya know?
Liberals (me included) tend to rely on momentum and sometimes we overshoot. The world needs all kinds of people - even if I disagree with most conservative viewpoints.
I tend to avoid calling slow to change conservative because people and parties who self identify as conservative have been promoting regression on social issues, removing rights, xenophobia, racism, and sexism. They spoiled the term!
Those conversations happen so rarely that it’s not worth even considering that as a possibility until a reply or two has shown that they’re not going to stonewall the conversation.
In person things are one way, but on the anonymous Internet (especially lemmy and reddit) it’s people who are 100% not going to adjust their actively garbage views on things and thus deserve to be treated as the dickheads they too often are
If they don’t like being pre judged based on their political beliefs they should rethink why people have an inherant dislike of them, and maybe change. Or learn to deal with the consequences of having dogshit opinions
Up = Like it, interesting novel take (even if I disagree), funny and clever
No vote with comment = disagree but worthwhile discussing, unintentional but incorrect and/or misleading info.
Down = Spam, low effort to the point it’s insulting (clearly not reading beyond the title), flaming and flamebaiting (this is a big one on forums like this everywhere), trolling, intentionally incorrect or misleading information, off-topic/irrelevant stuff.
Report = hate speech, violence against members of our communities, incessant trolling or flaming or flamebaiting (more than twice in a row).
Thanks for the endorsement! If i run my own server them’s’ll be the rules.
I agree having a general ettiquite/cross-Fediverse rules of conduct that won’t get you banned on most servers. But (within the boundaries of law) I don’t mind if other servers want to impose more or fewer restrictions in keeping with such an ettiquite and how strict it’s enforced. Servers like Hexbear can go and do their silly thing so long as the “trolling the libs” kind of conduct is kept there.
I recently got the urge to play WoW again, so I figured I’d cash in on the ‘free play til level 20’ thing and play on a Classic server. Except those are pay only. Decided I’d try retail since it was free and quit within an hour. I’ve been really loving Turtle WoW, however.
Awesome! All the advice I saw on the net was to try and run it via Steam (which ended up causing weird graphical glitches) but it ran great for me with just regular wine.
Already found a fun guild while I was running WC…let me know if you’re looking for one!
Yeah this topic is not one to easily just jump into. I tried to make a summary in a long post here, but its really hard, there is too much information. If I were you I would just sit this one out altogether.
recent versions of Firefox (with a few privacy add-ins) have become nearly unusable for me.
Due to performance issues? Mind that Linux is likely a good bit more usable on your hardware and you may very well not need to move away from Firefox after all.
“missing MSVCR120.dll” (part of Windows C++ Redistributable pkg)
Not sure, if you’re saying that you already found this out, but yeah, there is an installer from Microsoft for this Windows C++ Redistributable package.
bergerrealty.com & attheshore.com (web cam hosting sites)- “no compatible source was found for this media”
I’m on Linux and these work for me in Falkon. But it could be that your particular hardware + the Chrome browser engine that Falkon uses, results in no source being compatible (e.g. your graphics card only offers acceleration for the H.264 codec, which is what Firefox generally uses, not VP9, which is what Chrome/Falkon prefers). Then it would still not work after the switch, although again, Firefox would probably work…
legacy.com (obituary site) - various page loading and display issues. If I fully enable content permissions, I can get the home page displayed, but no links are functional.
Again, works for me. I didn’t have to do anything. I have the built-in ad block enabled, but no other customizations, as far as I remember (I only use Falkon as a backup browser).
facebook.com - Log-in successful. Home page displays, but is immediately followed by: “Qt Qtwebengineprocess has stopped working” here is the pertinent info from the Windows analysis pop-up:
I don’t use Facebook, so can’t test this one. This could be due to using the 32-bit version, but it’s really difficult to say. Only real pointer I can give you is that “QtWebEngine” is a thin wrapper around the browser engine of Chrome (which is called “Blink”). It’s part of the Qt GUI framework that Falkon uses. So, likely not specific to Falkon.
If you’ve got a spare USB stick, I would recommend just preparing it as the Linux Mint installation medium. You’ll be able to boot off of that into a largely functional Linux Mint system, without actually installing it.
This will be slower than a proper installation, as it will read the data off of the USB stick rather than your hard drive, and lots of these “live” installation medias do not come with all the media codecs, so this will probably not be representative for your webcam sites.
I’m also not entirely sure, if you can just install Falkon into that live system.
But at the very least, you can give Firefox a look (it’s the default browser), see how that performs, and just play around with the system.
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