“I am here, I move forward.” Might do for you. Say it, take the time to see where you are and what you can do next. Even a small improvement is valid, just make sure you move and don’t dwell on things you can’t control.
Depending on the OPs circumstances, that realization may actually be what is causing them their bad times.
Friend of mine has had ideation for a long ass time and the frequency of them trying to step out of life increased considerably when that realization hit them.
When you're already feeling worthless and without purpose, realizing nothing has purpose and this whole concept of life and living we have is utterly meaningless in the grand scale of the universe, it's not ideal.
What you and I do today is meaningless in the grand scale of the universe, and likely has a tiny effect on what happens to someone living a hundred years from now.
That doesn’t mean that what we do doesn’t have a more immediate impact.
Make your neighbor’s day better, because while it won’t matter in a million years, it matters now. So who cares if it costs you a few extra minutes of your life, it makes theirs better, and nothing means anything in the long run anyway, right? So why not make it easier for everyone else here, now? Making other people feel better feels good, so everyone wins, and we can better enjoy what time we have.
Some good points, which don’t contradict the macro-level analysis. I agree and see things this way myself. Life is absurd, so might as well laugh about it and be nice to people while you’re here, basically.
Just imagine that one person in Europe about 30,000 years ago who found himself stuck in some hole in the ground, alone and broken, finally dying of thirst and infection, who left behind four kids and his bonded life partner. They didn’t know where he went, and in only a season she had paired with another mate in the clan. Within four years anything said about this man had wilted to almost never, and forget about anything having been written down or logged in any way.
Forgotten to time.
It didn’t take long then. Might take longer now. But time will still forget us all. Make your mark while you’re around, because after that no one will give a shit.
So we were all gonna have a good time and get drunk but now all the money’s gone into the VLTs so there’s no drinkin or gettin drunk or nothing is … how she goes, apparently
In the future this will be a period of time I’ll remember clearly, which makes it valuable. Easy times lead to no substantial memories which is effectively the loss of that time.
Dad’s out of town so I’m staying at his house taking care of his dog. I love this dog. But also take this dog for granted a lot, especially when I’ve just come home from work and I’m irritable and overwhelmed.
I pretend that, instead of this being me here and now, it’s a future version of me, from maybe thirty years in the future, when this dog has been long dead. Then I imagine that this moment is some kind of miracle wormhole through time where the me from the time this dog is an ancient memory has been given a few minutes to be with the dog.
Like, I would happily trade my finger and all the money I have for a minute with my mother, who died fifteen years ago. But I can’t.
What I can do is treat the people around me as I would treat my mother in that one minute, if it were somehow granted to me.
Almost like opening myself up to visitation from my future self. And in doing so, I experience more richly and it will actually work. When the dog is long gone, in the ground for decades, I will be able to visit him because I opened myself, which led to deep memory inscription.
Brilliant post, and I try to do the same thing, if I’m somewhere beautiful or profound and I have a few minutes to myself I like to make a “memory bubble” to me it’s like a little snapshot of experience that I work really hard to recall every minute detail ( including my emotional state and sounds and smells, etc…) and then I can revisit them in the future.
I like this because it makes you appreciate where you are at the time more, and gives you good memories to lean on in the future.
Incidentally, I think this phenomenon of appreciating the present by looking through the lens of a future where it’s lost, is the basis of the band name The Grateful Dead.
I’m open to discussion, but now that I’ve existed for a substantial period of time, I’ve found that my most prevailing memories are the ones hard won (e.g. when I almost had to sleep on the streets or ran out of money in a foreign country or got evicted from my flat). Whereas days sat on my couch watching telly, or in the pub having fun with friends, or another routine day in the gym are all blurred memories with no definition and no real sense of elapsed time.
From what I’ve seen in your replies, you seem to agree:
Bad actors can easily ruin a community
It’s very easy for bad actors to game popularity-based systems like downvoting posts to remove them or upvoting posts to protect them
Bad actors can brigade communities to make it seem like active members support values different than what the majority actually held before the brigade
You’re dancing around the solution but refuse to admit it: you need a group of trusted users who have a longitudinal relationship with the community. This group of users can follow the community’s leanings over a long period of time, keep the discussion true to the community’s original vision, and easily identify bad actors. You need moderators.
It seems you’d be in favor of more laissez-faire moderation, but there’s still no better solution than moderation. Even if AI got good enough to do the job as well as a human, you’d still need a leader (the community creator or mods) to program the parameters of that AI. The truth is that your anarchist belief system simply doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in theory, and the only viable solution involves having someone in charge.
We have to assume that the majority of users will not be disruptive unless driven by the environment. Otherwise we might as well stop right there.
Assuming that it follows that such moderation without any individual in power might still be implemented by reflecting the community will through some mechanism. So voting doesn’t work as long as everybody can create a million bot accounts. Maybe there is a way to prevent that. Same with other approaches. I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody can come up with a technical solution for this.
But the same assumption also means that one can rely on the majority of the users to be pro-social. Thus one can lean on this majority of angels to do the moderating.
My friend pet the dash of his car every time the transmission hesitated. That spot of the dash swelled and popped up in that spot after a year or two because of the finger oils.
I smell everything. Dog’s noggin, the insides of books, my morning cup of tea. Everything gets a healthy whiff.
When I’m in the shower, I purse my lips and blow directly against the water coming down because it makes a nice sound.
When I’m reading, I rub the edges of the page I’m currently on super tightly between my thumb and index finger because I like the sound and the feeling. I also rub the tops of my nails when I’m wearing nail polish for the same reason.
I have seen communities where every member is a mod. In order to enter the community a vote takes hold that decides if you can be a member. The decision is usually based on a majority ruling, but veto power is granted to every member.
The idea is that you can find the community online since it’s public, petition for your membership presenting your argument and other social media accounts you have.
Then, members judge if you are going to be a suitable member of the community, if you are going to respect the rules of the community, and cast their votes. Often participation is low on votes, someone vouches for you and a few other people review your accounts to make sure you are not a threat.
Sometimes there is a probation period where you have some power like posting on the community but are not fully fledged mod. Other times you become a mod from the start.
Banning members sometimes is necessary, the process needs to be more strict, maybe set participation requirements and allow for enough time for anyone to cast their votes.
It’s important to keep in mind that allowing everyone to weigh in on decisions does mean they are going to, most people don’t have the context or the time to, but the community needs to remain functional. For these reasons, vote rulings need to be decided on participation and not body size.
Last but not least, my experience is that those communities are much more pleasant and productive to participate in. Not being doxxed on every comment you make, and people actually making an effort to understand your argument, is a game changer.
Oh man, I recently found out not everyone wipes 💩 the way I do and I’m convinced everyone else is crazy. They gotta be walking around with dooty cheeks all day.
Also, I constantly flick my big toes against my second toe making a small raspy snap whenever I’m barefoot and sitting.
When I sit down to pee, I HAVE to rub my hands together before I release the pee. I started because I was cold one day and have never been able to stop. I hate it but it makes me feel so wrong if I don’t do it. I’ve always wondered if other people do it or if they just think I just like rubbing my hands in the stall like a weirdo.
K, I was waiting for a pee one. Women that have had children might know this from their OB/Gyn telling them this if they have problems starting peeing after pregnancy. When I pee I tickle my back at the base of my spine. There’s a nerve ending there that stimulates the bladder and amplifies the sensation of bladder relief a billion times. It’s addictive and I can’t stop! Please tell me I’m not alone.
I try to eat a lot of vegtables and some fruit because I like those, and a minimum of meat, dairy etc. Basically only eat meat when someone else cooks it for me. Dont like anything really sweet or really salty, and dont eat stuff like bacon, salami, ham etc because I dont like it anyway. Eat quite a lot of wholegrain bread because I like it
Mostly just eat what I like in moderation it just so happens I dislike a lot of unhealthy stuff (except biscuits/ cookies) and like a lot of healthy stuff, so I dont really have a “system” as such, just preferences. Also dont drink alcohol
How do you deal this your love for cookies? I imagine cookies is probably one of the most dangerous weaknesses to have. Especially chocolate cookies with chocolate chips I would find difficult to pass on and probably would go through an entire display if enough milk was available. 😈
I stop at 2-3. Also I’m not that keen on chocolate unless its very dark chocolate, I like chocolate that is about the same colour as bitumen. I prefer biscuits with fruit/ nuts. I also have with strong, black unsweetened tea
The way I think it works is that your local instance hosts its own communities, and then it will reach out to other instances to grab content from every external community that at least one local user has subscribed to. “All” mode is limited to that set of content.
So I think the only way to see the entire set of all content on lemmy would be to meticulously subscribe to every single community on every single instance.
And someone can correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you can still subscribe to subs on defederated instances, it’s just the interactions that don’t get passed back and forth.
and then it will reach out to other instances to grab content from every external community that at least one local user has subscribed to
It’s the other way around. The local user subscribes to the community on the remote instance, which causes the remote instance to then push you every action that occurs on that community as it happens. The pull method is only used once and doesn’t bring in comments, it’s meant as a preview for when a remote community is used for the first time.
And this is why their content won’t make it to your instance: it expects the other instance to send it to you, but they’re refusing to. Similarly, they won’t accept content from your instance, even though it’s trying to.
Local and remote communities are pretty similar internally, federation happens as a separate process in a queue system.
This leads to this:
you can still subscribe to subs on defederated instances, it’s just the interactions that don’t get passed back and forth.
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