Menagerie,

I’d add a tail.

Riccosuave,
@Riccosuave@lemmy.world avatar
Chetzemoka, (edited )

Pelvises that can accommodate both upright walking AND the size of human brains without, you know, killing the humans during birth.

A_A,
@A_A@lemmy.world avatar

This is why I was writing : “(+) baby pouch, like marsupials’ …”

JusticeForPorygon, (edited )
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

I still find it insane that babies developed compressing skulls before their mothers developed wider pelvic bones

CaptainPedantic,

Who needs wider pelvises when you can break your child’s collarbone instead?

Source: My collarbone broke when I was being born.

JusticeForPorygon,
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

Nasty. How sturdy are infant bones? To they break easily? What’s the healing process?

CaptainPedantic,

I’m not sure, I wasn’t really paying attention since I was brand new lol.

But the doctor wasn’t worried. In fact she told my parents that within a few months it would be impossible to tell my collarbone was ever broken.

The Internet says children typically wear a sling for 3 to 6 weeks for a broken collarbone. I’d assume my parents just swaddled me or something. I’ll ask them.

Ibaudia,
@Ibaudia@lemmy.world avatar

Improve the birthing process so you don’t have to rotate just to fit on the way out. Either make babies smaller or vaginas bigger (in which case penises would have to compensate I guess)

roguetrick, (edited )

in which case penises would have to compensate I guess

Brother, if you're penetrating the cervix, you are doing it wrong.

Ibaudia,
@Ibaudia@lemmy.world avatar

That’s not what Hentai taught me /s

rikudou,
@rikudou@lemmings.world avatar

That one’s entirely of our own doing! By having better healthcare, people who wouldn’t be able to survive childbirth naturally are spreading their genes which leads to childbirths being harder and harder with every generation.

Ibaudia,
@Ibaudia@lemmy.world avatar

U got a sauce for that? My instincts are telling me that we don’t evolve or mutate that fast lol.

paddirn,

Micro-organisms taking a shit on our teeth doesn’t cause cavities.

spacecowboy,

Just brush your teeth bro it’s real easy takes like 2 mins

morphballganon,

I suspect they do. This post is about fantasy.

Kase,

On that note, can we make teeth less fragile in general? Mine are all messed up from grinding them at night and from brushing way too hard as a kid. :/

shinigamiookamiryuu,

Remove taste buds. Whole species have been threatened due to that.

Malfeasant,

I’m not sure I follow… Like we wouldn’t kill animals if they didn’t taste so good?

shinigamiookamiryuu,

Some of them at least. Some diets are improvised out of necessity, but then again, we also have restaurants, which are not a necessity. If one animal is plentiful and does the trick, we shouldn’t have to go to a restaurant to eat an exotic animal that isn’t plentiful.

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Iirc there are some reptiles with two sets of eyelids on each eye, the inner one being transparent, so they can close just the one while under water or in like dusty/windy conditions, but still be able to see.

Humans need in on that action.

LordOfLocksley,

It’s called a nictitating membrane. Cats also have it to protect their eyes when they fight

spacecowboy,

We used to have that. It “devolved” into that lil bump in the corner of your eye by your nose bridge.

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Sigh… we got rid of the cool shit, but hung onto time-bombs like the appendix. WTF, ancestors?!

spacecowboy,

Believe it or not, we’re beginning to understand the appendix more and it may not be as useless as we were told.

lifeandhealth.org/lifestyle/…/08288.html

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah that’s been the leading hypothesis for a while now, but even if that’s its intended purpose, I’d argue it still does more harm than good. I work in the OR, so I might be a bit biased by only ever seeing the surgical side of things, but we take appendixes out ALL THE TIME because like to inflame and rupture, which without surgical intervention means your abdominal cavity is now full of poop, and then you go septic, and then you die. Those little fuckers are SUPER dangerous.

Intestinal biome is definitely important - if it gets fucked up bad enough, some patients need a fecal transplant, which is exactly what it sounds like: they take a donor’s poop and shove it up the patient’s ass deep enough enough for it to pass and hopefully shed enough microcritters to seed a new biome.

…but we don’t get paged a 3am to rush to the hospital to frantically set up for a fecal transplant because some dude rolled into the ER needing a poop donation. We do get get those calls when some poor bastard rolls into the ER writhing in pain because his appendix is stretched to capacity and is getting ready to pop; or has already popped and we need to flay his abdomen open to clean him out.

So yeah, I’d vote to just make them not exist. If hospitals have to take on the occasional extra fecal transplant patient, I’d call that a fair trade.

zarathustra0,

deleted_by_author

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  • LesserAbe, (edited )

    Hmm. This reminds me of those experiments where they got the rat a button to get a dopamine hit and the rat just kept pounding on it

    bacon_pdp,

    neck

    That is already a thing.

    7% of all men will orgasm instantly if a firm pressure is applied to the back of the neck where the spine connects to the skull during sex. only 2% of women have that same biological feature.

    AstralPath,

    No more fucking hemorrhoids!

    JusticeForPorygon,
    @JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

    I want a cancer ray for people I don’t like

    nxdefiant,

    you might be the only person who added weapons. That’s incredible, if this was reddit, cancer ray would have been post 3 or 4, max.

    JusticeForPorygon,
    @JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

    Tbf I stole the idea from that clip from the Harley Quinn TV show (I think that’s what it was at least)

    morphballganon,

    No nearsightedness/farsightedness

    No arched noses

    Everyone can breathe through their noses silently

    No pectus carinatum/excavatum

    Digestive tract hits limit on sugar digested and rejects the rest

    No loosening of sensitive hair follicles; make every scalp hair difficult to remove/fall out

    FluffyPotato,

    Stop aging at 20

    cm0002,

    god has left the chat

    Usernameblankface,
    @Usernameblankface@lemmy.world avatar

    Appetite is 100% linked to calories needed. You still enjoy food, but the moment you swallow enough calories for whatever you did since the last time you ate, you have zero appetite and anything put in front of you loses all appeal.

    Terrible for survival situations, great for modern life where an abundance of food is a bigger problem than a scarcity.

    Tippon,

    Yes, but with a tweak.

    Being able to tell how much food you need in advance would be better, so that instead of thinking that you’re really hungry and piling your plate, you only buy or prepare as much food as you need. That would cut down on food waste too.

    Usernameblankface,
    @Usernameblankface@lemmy.world avatar

    Maybe it could be based on the average daily calories used each day over the past month to replenish exactly what’s been used plus predict ahead until the next meal time?

    RBWells,

    My appetite is at least 90% based on calories needed, since I was around 25, I 'm over 50 now. My kids laugh at me when I sometimes say I’m still full 6 hours after eating, but sometimes I am. Or eat, then eat ten minutes later. And usually I stay at the same weight unless intentionally bulking or cutting.

    One exception - I lose appetite when stressed, and rarely but but sometimes have anxiety around eating still. But most of the time, my appetite just follows my calorie expenditure. Can’t be the only person like that, it seems a normal state?

    Malfeasant,

    No, you are fortunate. I’m always hungry, I have to consciously resist the urge to eat constantly.

    RBWells,

    I am sorry, that sounds dreadful. Always you have had hunger? Eating does not cause satiation? I also can feel empty without being hungry sometimes, it’s honestly a good feeling and best state to fall asleep.

    Yes the tuned appetite should be universal.

    In the interest of full disclosure - I did reach it coming out of anorexia so not overweight but underweight, but it has settled out to keep me at a healthy size as an adult. Except for a few very stressful years in my early 40s I lost some but bounced back. I think more people, at least in the US, are coming from the other side and I don’t have experience with that.

    Malfeasant,

    Always. Haven’t always been overweight though, that started in my late 20s. When I was young, I could eat nonstop and stayed skinny mostly because I was riding a bicycle nearly every waking moment.

    HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
    @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

    Poop out the front and only when feeling sad about the future

    Rhynoplaz,

    I’d feel sad about the future every time I thought about having to poop out the front.

    HeyThisIsntTheYMCA, (edited )
    @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

    Buy play doh extruders

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/zm2hq61fVTE/maxresdefault.jpg

    For your front butt

    zcd,

    Let me just say that if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system

    Kolanaki,
    @Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

    “You’re about as useful as an asshole on my elbow.”

    This phrase has always befuddled me because the elbow would be more convenient a location for an asshole.

    nxdefiant,

    Salad bars would be a lot less common.

    LesserAbe,

    Arguably God is a city planner, and that is how he laid it out…

    HatchetHaro,
    @HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

    as a gay bottom, my sewage system is sometimes my playground

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