xenoclast,

I hope you all paid attention in class

ours,

“Jokes on him, I got my MD degree from a shady website” - Doctor

geophysicist,

This is the one

NSFWemy,

Point to the anesthesiologist, “Yo, this guys got the good stuff! Anyone else want a hit?”

paddirn,

“Damn, I really need to take a shit…”

leaky_shower_thought,

Mr. Scott, beam me up.

Schlemmy,

Scotty

IHaveTwoCows,

Don’t have a quip for you, just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE anesthesia!!

confluence,

Y’all showed up for this post! Lemmy is looking better all the time :)

TW: Existentialism/Death

Not a funny thing to say before going out, but when I was about to do the mask I thought about what it would be like to be totally unconscious after I die, and woke up laughing and cracking jokes. It wasn’t so bad during the procedure when my awareness was off 😜

CosmicCleric,
@CosmicCleric@lemmy.world avatar

I went with the Leslie Nielsen quote from the movie Airplane, “I just wanted to say good luck, we’re all counting on you.”

EmoDuck,

Bonus points if you say it when entering the operating room, when given the anesthesia and a third time during the surgery itself

smackjack,

Just randomly wake up during your surgery and say it, and then promptly go back to sleep.

CosmicCleric,
@CosmicCleric@lemmy.world avatar

Actually when I made the joke, I got zero laughs in the operating room. I had to explain the joke, and still got no real comment/laugh.

I finally followed it up with a Rodney Dangerfield version of “Tough room” and that got a chuckle finally.

BigBananaDealer,
@BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee avatar

my buddy pretended to not wake back up and then scared the nurse

HawlSera,

He’s not going to be level-headed enough to do that

Smoogs,

That’s not how anesthesia works. It’s not like waking up from a light sleep and keeping your eyes closed.

BigBananaDealer,
@BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee avatar

its impossible to close your eyes again after initially waking up

Smoogs,

You’d be lucky to even have the consciousness of knowing the surgery was already done let alone what just happened to even plan such a prank.

BigBananaDealer,
@BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee avatar

maybe if youre simple. however, some possess knowledge beyond your feeble comprehension 🍷🧐

enthusiasticamoeba,

I’ve been with a number of people as they came out of anesthesia and they were “awake” and talking before they were really conscious of it. Same experience with my own surgeries; I have no recollection of eating a popsicle but apparently I did and tried to share it with the whole nursing staff.

I think your friend is full of shit.

treesapx,

Do not try to deceive or scare the Post Op nurse. They have powers you’d happily avoid.

ElBarto,
@ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

Fuck, I left the oven on.

DudeDudenson,

Doing the “who are you” bit when you wake up might be more amusing and easier to pull off (considering you don’t normally know when you’re going to pass out)

EddoWagt,

Might be more difficult to do when you wake up as you have the chance to actually have no fucking clue what’s going on

feedum_sneedson,

I said “wow, that’s strong”.

satans_crackpipe,

Haha, mine was “I think it’s working”.

telllos,

When I woke up I was like, " It’s really good dope". I’ve never done anything other than weed.

Karyoplasma,

When I woke up, I vomitted. Twice. Then I asked for a bread with Nutella.

ChaoticNeutralCzech, (edited )

Not a one-liner. You better start this one as soon as you’re rolled into the room.

My instructor was Mr Langley and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

It’s called “Daisy”.

♪ Daisy, Daisy
♪ Give me your answer, do,
♪ I’m half crazy
♪ All for the love of you
♪ It won’t be a stylish marriage
♪ I can’t afford a carriage
♪ But you’ll look sweet
♪ Upon the seat
♪ Of a bicycle built for two.

Hopefully, the anesthesiologist has seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. You’ll go down about halfway through.

The scene (spoilers for 2001) • Cleaner copy of the song to learn the melody from
No need to try for a computery voice, the oxygen mask will obfuscate it enough.

triclops6,

Good luck op! I hope it’s a success Friday!

bradorsomething,

“How do you keep a surgical staff in suspense?”

ChaoticNeutralCzech,

a surgical staff

That is not a group of medical professionals, that is a wizard’s stick with amputation powers!

wetferret,
@wetferret@lemmy.world avatar

If I happen to be the doctor and it’s someone else going under I’d say “Okay, let’s get this leg amputated!” when that is NOT the actual operation happening.

pirat,

OK, so let’s get those ears removed!

Yes, I’m hungieee

Agent641,

“Wait, which gender are we reassigning you to?”

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