The girl I was dating isn’t interested in me romantically which really sucked for a day or two, but she’s still interested in being friends which I look forward to at least.
I was kinda in same situation a while back. Sticking around only hightened my feeling towards her and in turn only ended up breaking my own heart that much harder.
Yeah I plan to be, don’t really wanna feel like I did all over again over the same girl yk, so I’m giving myself a few weeks/longer with no contact just to cauterize the wound properly so to speak and she’s obviously understanding of that thankfully.
I used to work retail far from where I grew up, and everyone I knew would go home for the holidays but I would have to work. It was tough sometimes but also it’s just another day, I “took time off” from my home chores to go do what I want once I was off work or if I wasn’t feeling up to it, just stay in with a frozen pizza and watch horror movies.
I’m not sure if that helps, but even though it did rob some of the remaining childhood magic for me, changing the view of holidays to be more mundane helped me feel less bad about my situation and enjoy the fact that I had some time to do whatever I wanted.
A part of me says I should, since I also feel responsible for abandoning my best friend, who missed his teenage goals of joining the 27 club by a few years.
The heroin epidemic took many of my friends as a teen and left me kind of traumatized. Seeing some of them again could help to spur growth, but I also suspect it might make me deeply depressed.
Finally feel like am on the mend from a respiratory infection + injury to torso.
Which is great but now very behind on a lot of basic stuff in my life & feel it’ll be a while before my stamina is back up, so the trick will be tackling things without getting either worn out or despondent.
Some heavy mental stuff to process too, which reemerged prior to getting sick, but feeling somewhat hopeful, in that I suspect the period of dormancy was a total block for a couple of decades.
It’s been a busy week so far. Trying to tidy my flat before an inspection next week as well as get some reporting done before a deadline tomorrow (it won’t be done in time but their expectations aren’t particularly reasonable so doing what I can). Got to do a Hackathon today based around a potential new system which was exciting! It’s so much better than what we have at the moment.
Going to Amsterdam on Friday for the weekend, really looking forward to it
Detaching yourself from the reality of what’s happening in the world is certainly one way of coping, but IMO unless you’re doing it to protect your mental health (in which case I highly recommend reducing your news consumption), it is just a form of isolationism at best, and an abdication of our shared human responsibility to protect and help each other at worst.
Let me reiterate: if you are seeing your mental health decline as a result of news consumption, you should reduce that consumption, or at least make changes to which news sources you consume.
Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.
I strongly disagree with the person in this article’s recommendation of detachment for the average person. This is akin to advocating for political non-participation, because how can you intelligently assess who is best to represent you in the world if you don’t know the state of the world?
We on the Left (rightfully) criticize people who cannot seem to care about an issue unless or until it personally affects them… well guess how they got there; not being informed about anything external to their own immediate lives.
It’s quite the privilege to be able to cut off externalities and be happy; many people do not have the luxury of being able to do that, because those externalities will intrude into their lives whether they like it or not, like Roe being overturned.
/rant
Since you asked for recommendations, I only really have one that worked for me, which was to cut off social media news (i.e. ditching Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit).
All 3 of those were news… combined with some of the worst takes on that news by the horrible people on those sites. I don’t need to hear a bunch of conservatives and white nationalists and misogynists and racists (apologies for the redundancy) give their takes on the news, especially because we know that they gain an outsize representation on social media due to ‘interaction’ being rewarded, good or bad.
i don’t drive often, maybe once or twice a week, and the car always has NPR on. other than that, i’ll skim headlines, but don’t tend to read them unless it’s something positive or local.
i do read up on the candidates nearing election day.
I have wondered about changing views. For me for example Netflix is way too dark. Does the younger generation like this stuff say people under 40… someone must. Just mention because hallmark is the opposite… like sickly sweet.
As far as guy leaving his work… how many woman would put up with a stay at home guy. Maybe some but not likely. When I got married I was just happy my wife had a non-negative net worth.
how many woman would put up with a stay at home guy. Maybe some but not likely.
I would guess that would be primarily because even when the woman is working full time and the guy is at home all the time, the stats show the woman still does most of the housework and child-rearing. Plenty of women do “put up with” a stay-at-home guy when he’s doing all the unpaid work that traditionally falls on the woman in the relationship.
Dude, it must be your social circles. I’m related to, work with spouses of, or am friends with no less than 5 stay-at-home guys. Also, most men with families at my company take on significant child care responsibilities due to being able to work from home. It comes down to making things work so food’s on the table and good humans are raised (or a stable household is kept). Gender is impertinent.
When I got married I was just happy my wife had a non-negative net worth. This sentence and its paragraph really read like a spouse is an acquisition or earnings 😬
As far a marriage having agreement on the big three: Money, sex, kids is helpful. This has long been known.
For me beyond that my only wish is that my partner be herself, cares about me more then my money or what I can do for her, that we like each other and similarly can stand each other, and our lives are heading in a compatible direction.
I have a wonderful wife and we have been together over 20 years and it gets better every year.
My point is for guys there is typically not that much expectation in terms of spousal earnings while for women there often is. Just my experience. I hope this is changing.
I admit that I am a young boomer but if you look at the next gen, the 30 somethings you still find similar patterns though less strong.
Of the 6 couples in my family of my generation, 5 are the husband doing most of the work outside the home. One is quite equal. For the 30 somethings and of the 5 couples two the guy is the primary earner, one the woman is, the other three are more balanced. Not sure how they think about it or how it will play out over the next 2 decades.
What made me think about it was I was watching “Married at First Sight”. One couple the woman had a huge problem with the guy not having a job at the moment… and it turned out she wanted to be a stay a home mom… though she had a good career. I have seen other seasons and shows where similar things have played out. Woman wanting the guy to be more successful. Not sure I have ever seen it the other way in these shows.
These movies aren’t just any wish fulfillment, they’re meant to be a panacea that assures the viewer that she made the right choice in being a stay-at-home mom, and that she would have regretted pursuing her career.
I want a Hallmark movie where a high-powered executive comes back to his hometown, helps save the Christmas tree lighting ceremony, and decides to leave his career to be with his shortstack tomboy wife and be her himbo kept husband on her ranch.
For the last several months I reduced my news intake and unfollowed a lot of stress-inducing accounts on social media. I have been happier and more relaxed. Can recommend.
I just had the realization that I’ve resigned myself to my dead end job. The holidays are coming and it always makes me feel happy and sad. It makes me reflect on all the things I wish I could do for my parents and my family. And while I have done a lot over the years, I just feel like I’m a frog in a well.
I’ve been trying to pursue creative endeavors as a way to feel like I have some kind of purpose in life. It’s been helping a little which is good. Sorry for the negative comment. I’m sure next week will be better
Thank you for the kindness. I felt kind of bad because I just dumped everything into the internet void, but today is going a bit better thankfully.
I have been creating YouTube videos since September! They aren’t super amazing or anything yet but it’s been a fun way to turn ideas into something tangible. This has been the only creative outlet that I’ve been able to stick with for a prolonged period so thats kind of interesting and exciting.
If you think you can compensate with the strength of your own inner contemplation, you are wrong
Is that a thing about neurotypicals, or just people without any selfcontrol?
I know I can compensate all the rhetorics, because I can spot most of the techniques by name, never get “pulled in” by the news, extract only the facts (if there are any), then contrast them with other sources, before “making my mind” about anything. I’m not afraid of saying “beats me, I don’t know enough”, until I do learn enough to build a consistent picture without holes or contradictions (doesn’t mean I’m always right, just coherent). Most times when I look at news, I end up taking away maybe a single sentence, which almost never is the one being highlighted.
There is also picking which news sources to care about. Right now I only know about two sources that are somewhat impartial: one of them is the weather channel, and the other a news meta-debate where they like inviting people with opposite points of view, without letting it turn into a cage match.
As for the rest of the article… it’s just describing the techniques used to produce what I like to call “news for toddlers”: fake human interest, full of rhetorical resources, cut down into tidbits easy to chew and swallow, aimed at eliciting an emotional response rather than a rational one (BTW, they’re the same techniques used by trolls).
You shouldn’t care about “that kind” of news. There are other kinds, like scientific breakthroughs, investigative reports, or news meta-analyses, that you might want to care about. Or whether to take an umbrella tomorrow.
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