Yeah that’s the thing. Difficult changes are difficult. Sometimes that’s not an excuse for pushing labor on strangers. Walking away from bigotry is hard but vulnerable people shouldn’t have to constantly justify their existence. But a lot of the time you need to answer the stupid questions you may not have asked. I went pescatarian quickly, and it was less hard than expected, but it took several people I know doing it before I felt comfortable.
Newbs are how you get people in your group. Nobody wants to join groups that were mean to them even if they want to do the thing the group does.