MECHAGIC,
@MECHAGIC@lemmy.world avatar

I need new glasses in general Give me the glasses

GutsBerserk,

Coin is overpowered af. Just flip the coin and buy a lottery. At that precise moment, all other items are practically useless.

You can hire a cook, sleep, buy whatever you need, hire people to do your bidding. Who needs charisma when they have money?

Buddahriffic,

It is overpowered af but don’t use it to get money. Use it to get the charisma glasses and each of the others during your first 12 hours (coincidently, they will all be close and easy to grab). Then attempt to write out an exhaustive list of any other objects or abilities that might threaten you (or maybe start with this one, as the glasses are the only one that threatens you from the original list). I’d say hopefully no one else has some other object or ability that warns them of anything that might threaten them, but yours might nullify theirs during your 12 hours. Attempt to deal with the list before half the time has passed.

Then start attempting to gain new abilities. Or attempt to find 28 more coins. 28 instead of 27 so that you can flip the next coin before the current one runs out and never fail the next flip. The sleep mask ensures you never sleep through a transition. Not that you’ll even need the ability to be constantly active.

“Anything you attempt” is waaaaay too broad.

GutsBerserk,

Absolutely. I was assuming one can only access to one item.

DudeBro,

Yeah I was going to choose the sleep mask until I saw the coin. If everything goes my way then I effectively have the powers of the glasses and the frying pan, plus unlimited luxury from lotteries, discoveries, opportunities, etc. The cooldown needs to be nerfed, or maybe add a negative debuff to the tails side.

PersnickityPenguin,

The mask would solve all of the world’s problems.

RogueBanana,

If everyone has them the work hours will double. You can thank capitalism.

derpgon,

I mean, if everyone sleeps 7 less hours, that’s 7 more hours to do other stuff, and a lot of people do “other stuff” that require some kind of investment - painting requires colors, carpentery requires wood, most stuff requires electricity etc. - so people would HAVE TO work more in order to fuel the 7 more hours of economy.

shneancy,

there’s already plenty of unbought products in this overpricer capitalistic hellhole we live in

Vytle,

The frying pan, mask and coin are definitely the best 3, in order. The frying pan is good for QOL, and if “while in use” is for an unlimited time, you could definitely start a business with it, as it would most likely make supernaturally good food. The mask just straight up effectively make your life longer because youd be concious for more of it. The average lifespan is 75 years in first world countries, so assuming 8hrs of sleep a day, most people will sleep for 8212 days in their lives (~22yrs) however, assuming you got the mask at 18, and only slept using it thereafter,by the time you are 75 you’d only have slept for 2470 days(~6.7yrs), meaning you are concious for 24905 days, which is almost the same as having lived to 115 with normal 8hr sleep. However, the coin is objectively best. The only real drawback to the coin is the 2 week wait period, which seems would be triggered regardless if you land a tails.that being said, a 50% to be capable of limited reality bending for 12 hours every 2 weeks is still super fucking good. You could just try to do something thats physically impossible and it should work anyways. The capabilities are actually almost limitless with it.

Kyrinar,

I was sold on the mask at “the wearer go falls asleep in 30 seconds” then read the rest. Undeniably the best one here.

Sincerely, a night owl who takes forever to fall asleep, and is perpetually tired

jayrodtheoldbod,

I was like f yeah let these glasses turn into superpowers but then yeah, it’s not even a contest. 1 hr and fully rested is OP, you have to keep it quiet though, don’t let your employer know, or anyone else, or the things become mandatory.

TheOakTree, (edited )

I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.

1 hour… fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you’ve just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.

Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.

iAvicenna,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

Definitely the skillet, I have no interest in playing the game in god mode but delicious meals everyday? Fuck yes.

Catasaur,
@Catasaur@lemmy.catasaur.xyz avatar

I’ve always been envious of people with great social skills. I could accomplish a lot more if I had them. The glasses for sure.

Shou,

Agreed. Wish I understood just how much more important spcial skills are over a professional skill.

HipsterTenZero,
@HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone avatar

That underwear is cracked, gimme gimme.

also the coin holy shit, time to do some crimes

BambiDiego, (edited )

Or just gamble legally. Start with straight-up casino gambling, work your way to 100k, do investment gambling using the coin every chance you can, get yourself to 10mill, do property and hedge investing, eventually you don’t need the coin, save it for when you absolutely need it while your money makes money and you actually live a comfortable easy life

Wizzard,

Take the underwear and go into the deep ocean or outer space.

Unlimited fresh breath is an invaluable bonus.

BambiDiego,

“Listen here, you little shit”

Uresname,

Until you get crushed by pressure or frozen from near zero temps

RandomVideos, (edited )

Choose the lucky penny and throw it hopping all the other items will fall in your hands

SnipingNinja, (edited )

The lucky penny is broken af. For example, you can use it to replicate everything else on the list or learn abilities to match them or better.

Basically, it’s exactly how luck is purported to work in various fictional universes. It’s kinda similar to Constantine’s (hellblazer) ability.

Edit: I am seeing people disagree with the penny, but unless the penny is magical in not only giving you luck but also in how the flip goes you can practice to make the flip go in your favour by practicing (I have been able to take the equivalent of a penny in my country and make it fall on the exact side I want almost every time)

With no explicit negative feedback and the penny going dormant in between, you can absolutely practice it. Hell make it so the first time you get the lucky heads you both practice and attempt to make the penny’s lucky effect permanent or at least semipermanent so that it goes in your favour the next fortnight you are supposed to flip it (if it can’t be made permanent without flipping)

Bgugi,

I think the major limit in the penny is the phrasing… “Works out in your favor” isn’t the same as “succeed with your desired outcome.”

That lotto ticket might win $6, the supermodel you asked out can say no, but respect you for asking…

Clbull, (edited )

If I had to put these on a personal tier list

S Tier:

  • Cool Glasses - As someone on the spectrum who is below-average in terms of physical attractiveness, the one thing I sorely lack is rizz. The ability to put on a pair of glasses and be able to automatically pass any job interview, make any new friends, sell any product, chat up any woman, etc would be massive. Also, no cooldown.
  • Fatigue Masking Mask - Gaining an extra 7 waking hours of time in a day is massive. If you’re productive this is the artifact to go for.

? Tier:

  • Caffeinated Shoes - This item is either moderately © to insanely (A) useful depending on its limitations. If you can skim across entire oceans at superhuman speed then that’s massive. If you lack superhuman reflexes and will get splattered into a fine bloody mist from colliding with anything then it becomes a lot less useful.

B Tier:

  • Frying Pan of Flavor Town - Unless it’s a massive cast iron pan, don’t expect to be opening up restaurants with it. It’s best reserved for your own nutrition and impressing guests with your cooking.

C Tier:

  • Lucky Penny - A 50% chance of having incredible luck for twelve hours once every fortnight seems great, but the cooldown is prohibitive. Also, unless RNGesus has bad luck protection, there is an incredibly slim chance that none of the 2000 or so times you get to use this item will yield any changes. Also, good luck can still wear off after those twelve hours.

D Tier:

  • Underwear of Fe’Breeze - Personal hygiene doesn’t take up much time, and with the right environment and lifestyle you can easily build up a habit. This one is just the least useful.
pyrflie, (edited )

The shoes are really a wild card on the list since they are percentage based. On Usain Bolt they might as well be the Winged Sandals of Mercury, but on my flabby ass they’d just make me a fairly competent runner.

Fridgeratr,

I agree with all of this except for the penny. If it makes everything you try go right for 12 hours, you could do some pretty awesome and life-changing stuff, even if it has a long cool down! It could be A or S tier depending on how you use it

Clbull,

I mean… A vial of Felix Felicis with twelve hour effectiveness and a 50% chance to proc once every fortnight… Maybe I am underestimating it.

SendMePhotos,

Plus… Underwear is until un equipped. Imagine about to get sexy time and you need to take them off. Lots of vomit will suddenly appear.

Clbull, (edited )

Depends on how it mitigates bad odor and poor hygiene. If it pauses rather than masks what harms your hygiene, then you’re all good. Otherwise… 🤢🤢🤮

I just overall think it’s not a useful artifact.

Katana314,

This is a really cool list since it gets a bunch of people in the comments to fight over which one is the best. Obviously several could somehow let you gain a million dollars, but money alone might not be the limit.

dejected_warp_core, (edited )

Charisma glasses would open up all kinds of awful things in the wrong hands. And there will be hell to pay if you take them off at the wrong moment.

The shoes open up a whole can of worms. Just consume the last two decades of Flash (DC comics) media and you’ll understand. Breaking physics like this opens up all kinds of utility, but the universe does not abide by people ignoring thermodynamics and spacetime.

The sleep mask sounds like a way to get anywhere from 5-8 more wakeful hours in a day, every day. But do I also get tired like normal if I use it? Because if I have to go to sleep every 20 hours, and spend 2-3 of those hours absolutely exhausted, that’s gonna completely screw up my schedule.

The frying pan is my speed. Get people over to your place and you won’t need the other items. Just make awesome relationships and build a posse around impossibly good home cooked meals. Win everybody over, work your way up in society, and start slinging tasty meals at state dinners. Together, you’ll conquer the world one plate at a time.

Edit: The coin is a monkey’s paw in disguise. Stay away.

Edit2: Underwear… look, if you need this, you have to re-evaluate some stuff. Otherwise, healthy body odor is kind of a factor in courtship. Plus it says “odor free”, so that includes perfume. That said, if you’re the rugged outdoor type and want to trek Patagonia for weeks on end, this is the item to pack.

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