Cool Glasses - As someone on the spectrum who is below-average in terms of physical attractiveness, the one thing I sorely lack is rizz. The ability to put on a pair of glasses and be able to automatically pass any job interview, make any new friends, sell any product, chat up any woman, etc would be massive. Also, no cooldown.
Fatigue Masking Mask - Gaining an extra 7 waking hours of time in a day is massive. If you’re productive this is the artifact to go for.
Frying Pan of Flavor Town - Unless it’s a massive cast iron pan, don’t expect to be opening up restaurants with it. It’s best reserved for your own nutrition and impressing guests with your cooking.
C Tier:
Lucky Penny - A 50% chance of having incredible luck for twelve hours once every fortnight seems great, but the cooldown is prohibitive. Also, unless RNGesus has bad luck protection, there is an incredibly slim chance that none of the 2000 or so times you get to use this item will yield any changes. Also, good luck can still wear off after those twelve hours.
D Tier:
Underwear of Fe’Breeze - Personal hygiene doesn’t take up much time, and with the right environment and lifestyle you can easily build up a habit. This one is just the least useful.
The shoes are really a wild card on the list since they are percentage based. On Usain Bolt they might as well be the Winged Sandals of Mercury, but on my flabby ass they’d just make me a fairly competent runner.
I agree with all of this except for the penny. If it makes everything you try go right for 12 hours, you could do some pretty awesome and life-changing stuff, even if it has a long cool down! It could be A or S tier depending on how you use it
Ok great now you have the cute of death. You’re the only person who knows it’s true and you created it basically out of complete accident. Now explain it’s mechanics to a scientist the next day.
Does the underwear cover basic grooming and self care? I.e. do I still need to trim my fingernails, shave, apply sunscreen?
What about the health benefits of staying clean? I mean nice breath is fine, but if I stop brushing will I get cavities? If I get a cut, do I still need to clean the wound to avoid infection?
This was where I went as well. It’d be fine to appear immaculate, but actually purging every piece of filth from yourself, instantly, constantly is terrifying. Most especially when you consider it a bit further- it’s essentially an erosion field, regardless of how it performs the task. In the most extreme extension of its abilities, it may prevent any of that ooky lead hollow point from landing on you. It’s too vague.
I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.
1 hour… fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you’ve just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.
Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.
Or just gamble legally. Start with straight-up casino gambling, work your way to 100k, do investment gambling using the coin every chance you can, get yourself to 10mill, do property and hedge investing, eventually you don’t need the coin, save it for when you absolutely need it while your money makes money and you actually live a comfortable easy life
The lucky penny is broken af. For example, you can use it to replicate everything else on the list or learn abilities to match them or better.
Basically, it’s exactly how luck is purported to work in various fictional universes. It’s kinda similar to Constantine’s (hellblazer) ability.
Edit: I am seeing people disagree with the penny, but unless the penny is magical in not only giving you luck but also in how the flip goes you can practice to make the flip go in your favour by practicing (I have been able to take the equivalent of a penny in my country and make it fall on the exact side I want almost every time)
With no explicit negative feedback and the penny going dormant in between, you can absolutely practice it. Hell make it so the first time you get the lucky heads you both practice and attempt to make the penny’s lucky effect permanent or at least semipermanent so that it goes in your favour the next fortnight you are supposed to flip it (if it can’t be made permanent without flipping)
Easily the penny. The mask is tempting to have more time in my day but I can just gamble and make a ton of money meaning I wouldn’t have to work. It would also help with a ton of other stuff.
The penny is so OP and I don’t think people understand how. You could essentially control almost any event in the world just by betting on it. If you win the coin toss, just bet on an election or the World Cup or whatever. All of a sudden, Tupac is still alive and just won both. Plus, you won the trifecta and turned $1 into $1 million.
Be the president? Too stressful! Run the whole world from the shadows. Literally no one will ever think you control anything, even if you tell them. It will look like pure coincidence.
You can’t have my frying pan, but supper’s at 6, the pan will have mac and cheese in it tonight, made with twisty noodles instead of elbows and my bechamel based cheese mix has about 6 kinds of cheese topped with more cheese and panko.
It is lucky, so it isn’t made of the standard copper alloy. It just happens to be the one penny randomly minted from pure iridium. The artifact’s canon stipulates that no one is ever aware of this.
I wonder if the underwear also works if the user gets splashed with neurotoxin or hit by a wave of radiation. I know theres gotta be a clear cutoff but I’m not sure where it is.
Don’t get me wrong, running faster than Usain Bolt seems cool, too. The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.
The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.
So what?? It would add years to your life! Imagine having 7 more hours of wake time every day for a decade! 7/24 or 29% more conscious life time! This is absolutely my choice :)
TBH I’m not really doing that much with the 17 hours I’m currently awake and I have trouble keeping weight on. I’m not planning to pick up another job. I’d just be bored and hungry for additional years of lifespan.
But when you wake “fully refreshed” you are only good for the next 16 hours. Then you will be tired like any end of day, and out of sync with everyone else’s schedule, and still have to wait for the 20 hour cool down.
I mean, when you wake up normally “fully refreshed”, how long can you go? 16-17 hours is all I get, unless I really push it. The description doesn’t say you don’t get tired, just that there’s a 20 hour cool down.
Once fully rested, I can easily be up for 20 hours and fully awake / focused. Often more. My biorhythm seems more happy with a 30 hours cycle: 10 hours sleep, then 20 hours awake. If only the earth wasn’t rotating too fast ;) So this item would be perfect for me
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