Yeah how each instance and community handles moderation is a little different, both a benefit and curse of the federated model. Lemmy.world is most “Reddit-like” in communities and moderation philosophy.
Be sure to read the community sidebar rules and instance rules you post to if you aren’t sure. Then again, people who break the written or unwritten rules tend to have the stuff removed, warned and then banned only if they don’t knock it off.
So don’t take it too hard on yourself, especially since it seems you understand their reasoning.
As a general tip, when you do actions on other servers using your lemmy.ca account, you stay on lemmy.ca and attach things at the end e.g. lemmy.ca/c/memes@sopuli.xyz or lemmy.ca/u/admin@beehaw.org. That’s how you maintain your identity without giving away your username/password directly to the other sites.