The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kom tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
For context, in this book, “missed by the wind” (which kinda sounds like gone with the wind) the author introduces a change to the language in every chapter, making it easier every time. And he succeeds. Highly recommend.
During Covid they were talking about letting people back on planes if everyone wore a mask. I told a friend that’s ridiculous, the total volume of air will be filled with corona virus, the mask doesn’t stop the virus it just projects the virus upwards.
Friend lost his shit. Called me a science denier and legitimately thought I was a right wing lunatic. The guy is a Staff software engineer at Meta. We rarely talk anymore which is too bad but also maybe for the best.
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