Good thing I don't know how to read music
moosetwin, (edited ) 
OP, what’s wrong with them calling you ‘mister fantastic’?
rivermonster, This shit made me laugh so hard. I appreciate you OP!
skeezix, Ritard is short for ritardando. It means slow down playing at this point. The “You” above it is probably just coincidental lyrics
GBU_28, Obviously
wischi, “die” is probably from a german song. It’s the article for female nouns (or plurals). Couldn’t guess the song though based on those three notes.
Zagorath, 
based on those three notes.
We don’t even know what those three notes are. Is it a treble clef? Bass clef? Tenor clef‽
wischi, True and I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m sure it doesn’t matter because I don’t know anything about music, don’t have absolute pitch and just pressed e f f on an online midi keyboard 🤣
hakase, (edited ) pp (very soft) is likely a reference to how the performer has trouble keeping his incredibly small penis erect. This can be common in any part of a song; it mostly depends on how much of a loser the performer is.
match, 
thanks! til
tubaruco, the performer sees “pp” in the paper and impulsively puts their pants down
jerrythegenius, 
*instinctively
skeezix, you’re being a ritardando
jerrythegenius, Sorry
Cold_Brew_Enema, It also, you know, sounds like “retard”
omgarm, I couldn’t get my pp soft on command anyway.
Kolanaki, 
It’s gotta be beaten back down.
moosetwin, If erection lasts more than four hours, call your doctor.
tubaruco, yeah, she’ll know what to do
jaybone, Send me her pics
jaybone, Wait 30 years.
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