Mango,

Well if organizing things in pristine tables makes things quick, why can’t we have nice things?

Patches, (edited )

Because Jen in accounting doesn’t believe in it, and Tom the CIO likes his data stored raw in TXT Amphibious Delineated. Then our biggest client prefers data as Jason so we swapped half of our database to that to speed things up.

But the real problem is high turnover because we don’t pay anyone enough to work on things they are proud of. After 2 years we stop doing even 3% COL raises so they go elsewhere. So every 2-4 years each position gets a new opinionated asshole.

reverendsteveii,

our biggest client prefers data as Jason so we swapped half of our database to that

the app I work with currently stores json as the only column in a sql table and it hurts me so very much. like watching someone pick up a screwdriver and try to bash a nail in with the handle.

stufkes,

Garcia From Criminal Minds: consider it done 😂

reverendsteveii,

Enhance

nintendiator,

Hang on, what’s that? Click on the ip_address column!

PhlubbaDubba,

See this is where Excel … well, excels!

Pivot tables do these data pulls pretty easy

UnrepententProcrastinator,

Please don’t tell that to any manager. They’ll misinterpret it.

PhlubbaDubba,

Nah this is one of those slick work deals, legit all you need to do is list all your entries, order a pivot table, and then you can just arrange your variables to display however you want them to, do a little format pizaz, and voila, here’s that “report” you asked for!

oce,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

Is it ironic?

kd45, (edited )

Oh no! How dare they ask you to do your job? Just get on with it and do what they pay you for

parlaptie,

This is a programming community. The joke is that you’re asked to do something that isn’t part of your job, to do someone else’s job for them.

fibojoly,

Me right now, discovering that our archives data have file sizes… sometimes in bytes, sometimes in kilobytes. I found some pattern this morning thinking I could know which was which, then the pattern collapsed at some date in the past.
Joy.

squeezeyerbawdy,

Oooh I had a 45 second coughing fit- thanks flu and you dear poster!

lorty,
@lorty@lemmygrad.ml avatar

You forgot the 3 paragraph WHERE clause to get every data point of a wednesday of an even year of a person who stubbed their toes on a roomba in their parent’s basement.

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