Wife had an important conversation with her adult son. One of those, “I didn’t tell you this before because you were a kid; you are clearly an adult now. There are things in family history that you should know.”
Went well. I wasn’t there because I’m not blood and wasn’t around for the relevant events. Besides, they need time without step-dad.
Spent entire day worried for them and hoping it would go well. Sounds like it did. Good outcome for a kind of draining, high-stakes day.
Reddit had things like over40, over50, and conversation subs.
If lemmy doesn’t have that, I think it should. Those were good places, less bubbled, and often more grounded. Just limited patience for those who constantly need help.
But if conversation is what’s desired, those worked.
I may not know you, but I hope the responses help and that your week kicks some ass.
If you find this meme relatable due to anxiety (I do), meditation helped me so much.
My employer pays for a meditation subscription and it didn’t just teach me breathing or how to think about “nothing.” It taught me to note the thought/feeling, label it as one of the two and let it go.
I haven’t seen it mentioned in the sections I’ve scrolled.
First, there’s some great advice already out there. What I’ll add: breathing exercises, especially box breathing. That, with meditation, has helped me. That can be Headapace, Calm, YouTube, and more. I’ve found the voice and timbre of the speaker matters to me and changes how well it works.
My wife likes some people, I like others. And that’s okay.
The breathing and meditation never immediately helped until I’d learned how to transition to a more “present” frame of mind, but they helped me build the pathway/shortcut.
I heard somewhere that spirituality is the easing of suffering. Maybe that was from Mark Manson (Subtle Art, YT channel, etc.).
Something in that statement works for me. I’m not superstitious nor do I hold beliefs in the supernatural. But I do undertake efforts to ease suffering - whether that’s meditation, readings, or reflection.
I think many have a spiritual need. Anxiety, depression, grief, changing moods, and more reveal that need. There’s an emotional (“spiritual”) suffering that we hope or need to salve.
Then I think we overshoot the mark.
It’s easy to want concrete perspectives when the world is dark, unjust, or foreboding. Attempting to meet those need with concrete answers helps feed the rise of religion.
I can’t fault the feeling of needing certainty, but I’d hope we can find ways to ease suffering without the use of delusion or lies.
Having said all of the above, I’m an Atheist. I think in rejecting religion, we have, also, overshot the mark.
People need each other. We need the things and rituals that help us find or move closer to peace. We are emotional, feeling, social animals and we’ve wrapped ourselves in new certainties and - sometimes - self-righteousness.
We need people. We need respect. We need love. We deserve human rights. We, also, need to learn how to transcend some of our injuries so we can navigate more effectively. That can be family, community, or national politics.
I’m not talking about losing boundaries. I’m talking about using them differently. Yesterday was MLK Jr day. He set boundaries, but he didn’t do it in hate or overt shame and anger.
He just did the work that needed to be done with the clearest eyes he could. I hope we, the materialists, can find a realistic perspective that doesn’t over-celebrate reason, and forgets the rest of our experience.
Reason tells us we feel. We hurt. We hurt others. We need something (reality-based) that reminds us to tend to ourselves and our communities.
We need balance.
I’ve wandered some in my response. It helped me to type, maybe it helps someone else, too. Either way, I liked your comment and it spurred thought.