KnightontheSun

@KnightontheSun@lemmy.world

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KnightontheSun, (edited )

I’ve used this joke IRL with our cats. There’s another one for dogs:

A guy and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says, “hey, you can’t bring a dog in here.”

The guy says, “this is no ordinary dog. He’s a talking dog.”

Bartender says, “yeah? Prove it.” The guy turns to the dog and says, “What’s on top of the building?” And the dog says “Roof! Roof!”

Then the guy says, “How does a brick feel?” The dog says “Rough! Rough!”

The guy then says, “Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?” The dog says “Ruth! Ruth!”

They are thrown out of the bar.

When they’re out on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, “So, you think I should have said DiMaggio?”

KnightontheSun,

Lame jokes can be presented in a funny way. Delivery is important. My favorite method is “matter of fact” like I am telling a normal story about usual things. Catches the recipient off-guard and the joke lands much more betterer.

KnightontheSun,

Yes. Good ones.

Louis Rossman/FUTO's YouTube app, GrayJay, now supports Sponsorblock... and shames you if you use it

Seriously this was very surprising. I’ve been experimenting with GrayJay since it was announced and I largely think it’s a pretty sweet app. I know there are concerns over how it isn’t “true open source” but it’s a hell of a lot more open than ReVanced. Plus, I like the general design and philosophy of the app....

KnightontheSun,

Piped works on iOS. Invidious perhaps as well?

KnightontheSun,

Is it really? I am FSM “ordained”, but as far as I know it is not accepted in the states I operate in. Not to worry, I am ordained in at least two other accepted online churches. I only do this for close family.

KnightontheSun,

When I lived near a volcanic area, they used the cinders for winter grip. Played hell on car paint. So, add that to the runoff.

KnightontheSun,

They can be Dicks.

KnightontheSun,

Nothing unfortunate about it.

You. We like you.

KnightontheSun,

Well, they can’t all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

KnightontheSun,

Hey you… Still liking you!

KnightontheSun,

Which is “should have” when spelt out.

KnightontheSun,

Both work, but using spelt is more fun.

KnightontheSun,

As some might say from time to time when it is warranted: I envy you getting to experience this show for the first time.

KnightontheSun,

Long time Pi-Hole user here. It is not effective in this regard. Someone please prove me wrong.

KnightontheSun,

Like right now. Now.

Man who run in front of bus gets tired while man who runs behind bus is exhausted.

I need some sleep.

KnightontheSun,

Yup, I learnt a long time ago just to get up if it’s <30 min till the alarm hits. I might be tired, but I’ll be more tired if I push it.

Okay, maybe <15.

KnightontheSun,

That kitty has seen some shit.

KnightontheSun,

You are correct. It is for someone in their 50’s. My thirties were carefree physically. In my fifties, spin that wheel.

Take care of your bodies, folks. Repairing any of this requires a ton more work (if it can be done) than just treating it right in the first place. Random injuries nonwithstanding.

KnightontheSun,

The converse is true as well with toxic people. Cut them out as quickly as possible. This improves life greatly.

KnightontheSun,

Funner fact: There’s a cookbook for eating shit.

KnightontheSun,

I’ve only ever seen one copy on an Australian YouTube channel. They were doing outback survival and they brought out this book as a joke. It was a real book though and I’ve sought it to have, but I think it was likely self-published so not many copies exist. How many publishers would commit to publishing such material? Not many. It is my white whale. This book of shit.

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