In my experience some people struggle with empathy a lot more than they realise. And the “solutions” they offer are just ways for them to try and get out of an uncomfortable conversation. There are better and more honest ways to do that.
To understand this you have to know that at the time when “Jaws” came into cinema there were people leaving cinema during the film because they “couldn’t handle it”. There were even newspaper articles about how the movie allegedly traumatized people. The same goes for movies like “The Shining”.
When “The Exorcist” came out people were not prepared.
At least where I live as a millennial you could have had a really nice childhood - until you finished school. Most struggled to find a job. Businesses would hire you as unpaid intern at best, etc. All while your parents (the boomers) expected you to have house, car and family in your twenties.
Build two cases, calculate for both, drag both case through the entirety of both problems, get two answers, make a case for both answers, end up with two hypothesis. Easy!
I still remember when I first saw this on Reddit the name of ruawri (including the trans flag) was cut off and people were insulting her in the comments how she was self-absorbed, “character looks nothing like her”, “she wishes she looked like that”, “women always make themselves in video games”, etc.
When it turns out she is trans now suddenly it’s sweet and wholesome and got featured at Respectful Memes. People are hypocrites.
Video Games. I can escape into video games from everything. They protect me when I am lonely, in pain, suicidal, desperate. I can even play video games in my mind.
I guess every culture that came to the conclusion to make some kind of bread at some point in time eventually put stuff on that bread. Like leftovers. The question is, do we call that a pizza… Or is it a flat sandwich or something…
I think some people are just not compatible with each other. To try and claim one way is right or better or more rational is surprisingly unrational and not aligned with finding a solution.
When you are unable to offer emotional support or empathy to your partner, communicate early that you won’t be willing or able to listen to their problems on their terms. Then they can decide if that’s okay with them. Problem solved.