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RBWells, to asklemmy in Do the right wing women in relationships with right wing guys think it's like a draco malfoy thing where they're a good guy underneath?

I am way, way, way more progressive than my husband but we both grew up before things got so polarized. It’s hard to talk to him about politics because he has gotten sort of propagandized and will spit out sound bites instead of arguing in good faith.

But in terms of what do I think? He’s a great guy, stays in shape, does the dishes, holds down a job, and our sex drive matches (which is a difficult thing to find at this age, more difficult than you might expect). He respects me, is loving and is easy to talk to about anything except political stuff. We are both adventurous in foods, like the same movies, his family likes me. We do not have a gun, live in the city now (he moved to town as I balked at moving to the suburbs). He is not at all racist as far as I can tell, we hang out with whoever and he lived around the world as a kid, one of his kids in interracial relationship, he did not bat an eye at that either. He’s a good guy in and out with some crazy ideas is what I think. Agrees on some things that I’d consider progressive (universal healthcare) but still thinks “regulation” is the root of all evil, as I think corporate greed is.

We just have really different ideas about what is wrong with society and what would help. Also I’d note - his ideas might actually help in some very socialist country, but here in the US and especially Florida they make no sense. He doesn’t see that, and I think that’s the root of the problem.

I can’t tell you what a right wing woman would think though. I do know some religious conservatives of various religions but they aren’t politically conservative exactly. The rest of our friends are maybe right of my politics but all our kids, mine and his, and their spouses and partners, are at least Democrats and some socialist/social democrat. So I won this generation and am satisfied.

RBWells, to memes in You liar!

Our dryer does this to us:

Put clothes in, start it - it estimates 35 units of time. Come back in 15 minutes to check, it says 15 units left. Come back in 15 minutes, it now says 21 units left.

I am, like all of us, unsure of the fundamental nature of time. But the dryer even more so. The units are not one standard length, and they don’t move always in the same direction.

RBWells, to asklemmy in What is Something Scientific that you just don't believe in at all?

Don’t believe in, or can’t understand?

I don’t believe we understand the fundamental nature of time, or the universe - we are limited by our bodies, can’t perceive or even think about everything that probably exists. But I don’t distrust the math or research that scientists are doing. In terms of how it is presented to us laypeople I think profit has poisoned the message, it is impossible to be current and knowledgeable in the way you’d need to be to pull apart all that messaging.

If you mean what do you understand but still not believe? I am still not convinced radio is not magic. I understand how it works but what the heck? Magic.

RBWells, (edited ) to asklemmy in What companies have made your blacklist?

I’ve never been to Cracker Barrel because when I was younger they fired all their gay employees, were taken to court over it, fought and won.

Chick fil a same sort of reason, stupid discrimination.

Have never been to Applebee’s because I don’t have to and why would I?

Bank of America because they once stacked withdrawals over deposits, said I was overdrawn by 0.60 for some immeasurably short period of time, and slapped a $35 overdraft fee on my account. I called, bitched until I got my $35 back, and closed the account. Hate them with a burning passion. Have had to deal with them at two jobs since and they seem still as bad.

RBWells, (edited ) to asklemmy in What are some small things we should change about the human body?

We should not get our adult teeth at 7 then no more ever. We need at least one more set.

I don’t think balding is useful, agree that could go.

Fertility should be manageable without using all the devices, hormones, etc. Like it should be a positive choice not a default state we have to harm ourselves to avoid. And I don’t think we need menopause either. Just turn on fertility only to get pregnant.

(ETA- I also think sexually transmitted diseases should not exist at all, they seem like religious fundamentalist biological warfare, but not sure what change in a human body could accomplish this and leave the pleasure intact. )

RBWells, to asklemmy in Would you choose invisibility or teleportation?

Teleportation by a long shot, though I would be afraid it would make me fat and unhealthy (never walking just teleporting everywhere).

If you are saying I can hold another person and teleport us both? Abso-damn-lutely teleportation, can you imagine the savings on travel?

RBWells, to asklemmy in What are some productive things to do when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep for a few hours?

Yin yoga is good for this exact situation. I do it without getting out of bed usually (husband is a heavy sleeper). I read somewhere “vigilance is the enemy of sleep” and that makes sense. Yin yoga is designed to calm your nervous system and I find it does help knock me back out. Try to let go of unhelpful thoughts, if you think you need to remember something for the morning place a rubberband around your wrist to make you notice and remember in the morning then let it go.

If it’s so late (early?) that you might as well get up, a morning run, jog, or walk as the sun is rising is a very encouraging activity. It feels so happy to see the new day born, and vigorous exercise in particular (so if you can run instead of walk, do it) is invigorating.

RBWells, to asklemmy in Do the right wing women in relationships with right wing guys think it's like a draco malfoy thing where they're a good guy underneath?

Where I do think you have a point is that I find any conservative hypocritical because they think one rule for them & different rules for others. He knows this. But am I perfect? No way. And on voting, when I vote I also have to make compromises because no party here is willing to protect the environment or give us healthcare or push back against our oligopoly. I think yeah he convinces himself on the social stuff because he believes the R will bring a better economy by some magic, and that’s about it. I cancel him out and 11 votes back me up, all our kids who are old enough to vote, all their companions.

But no, I’d not give up a loving and mostly compatible relationship because of politics, and apparently he wouldn’t either. I think without these connections, we’d be so much worse off. He would be worse in an echo chamber, and isn’t an idiot in other ways at all.

Obviously your calculation will be different. But I can love someone who is not me.

RBWells, to asklemmy in What is good to eat when you have no appetite?

Nuts have a lot of calories in a small package, and as a migraneuse I can also verify that nuts and dried cherries are one of the least offensive things to deal with if you end up puking. If you have miso, miso soup is easy and gentle and tasty.

But mostly make sure you are drinking water with electrolytes. Your body can survive well without food calories for quite some time, and lack of appetite when sick may be a signal to fast and rest. Dehydration is much more likely and much more damaging.

RBWells, to asklemmy in Those of you with lesser-known types of jobs...what do you do?

I have a typical job, but just today I was reading an article about different types of potatoes, and they quoted a post harvest potato physiologist.

RBWells, to asklemmy in Is there an artist whose work you love but was a shitty person?

I want to hate him so badly. But he is so good. I remember when he was cast as the vampire and I was pissed, having read the books it made no sense that Mr. Top Gun Fast Times at Ridgemont High as an undead vampire.

Saw the movie and had to eat my words, he had become a gaunt undead vampire. What the actual fuck. He was fantastic. Ever since that, I kind of trust he will be good in anything.

RBWells, to asklemmy in What is your unpopular flim opinion

I hate Life of Pi. The book. My kid had to read it for school and warned me not to, I thought, well I read fast, no big deal if it’s not great.

I want that two hours of my life back and can’t watch the movie because I hated the book so much. So much.

RBWells, to asklemmy in How would you approach buildings if they were more like synthetic organisms?

Carefully.

RBWells, to asklemmy in How long would you live if electricity for the whole world went out permanently?

If given enough notice to store water and fill 3 good coolers with ice, longer than 2 weeks - we lost power for 2 weeks with a hurricane once and had an electric well pump so no water either. Had set up a system with one cooler allowed to be opened, the others not often. By 2 weeks the water that we’d filled the tub with (for washing not drinking - water with a little bit of bleach) was getting questionable.

Like you, I think the biggest issue would be people.

RBWells, to asklemmy in How to respond to gf saying "I'm fat"

I am hung up about weight like this. Spent so long on the far side of skinny that smack in the middle of healthy makes me feel I look fat. I do say I am fat, I know objectively that is not true but I miss being too skinny. Just venting really.

I think just say that she is built great now, and you like it, but it’s her body. She probably isn’t worried that YOU think she’s fat. She is bothered because SHE thinks she’s fat.

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