It was a long process, I suppose, not one event. When younger I was always fascinated by science, and as I grew older, I suppose I started seeing less and less sense in god fitting into the equation.
I think the turning point of the whole thing was when I was in a religious camp for my confirmation and the last day, we had this… party? It was called Slávy in my language, and it was basically a concert with religious songs, which was so intense that people were fainting, “feeling god,” and whatever.
When my classmate fainted, and everyone was saying, “Oh it’s okay, she’s just feeling god,” and shit like that, that fucked me up. Not only because she fainted, but because I saw right through the bullshit. The loud music, the aroma, and the darkness of the place were overwhelming, but not because of any religious or supernatural reason.
That night, I understood truly and fully that religion is nothing but smoke and mirrors, and I’ve been becoming more secular and, lately, even more anti-religious (because of current events) by the day
Almost 2 years ago, to the day, pretty much, I was in the darkest places I’ve even been in mentally, thinking about stuff daily that remembering now… is awful.
Now? Now it’s so much better. I worked like hell to get myself from that hole, to slowly build back my confidence, to be an adult, and it’s starting to pay off.
What I am trying to say is that even in our darkest moments, there always exits a brighter day. There is always a tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.
If you feel lost or that there is no hope, I understand because I’ve been there. If anyone reading this feels that, do PM me if you want to. I’ll gladly talk to you. I am no psychologist or something, but I guess a conversation doesn’t hurt.
I get what you mean, but there are ways to say you fucked up, without calling you expletives. Some days, you get angry and scream at someone, but it doesn’t really make it feel amazing for the party being screamed at.
I didn’t mean it was mean from him to give him feedback or correct him, but the way he said it was a bit overblown.