don

@don@lemm.ee

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don,

No sorrow accepted, friend!

If your scenario posits that you are excepted from the effects of time throughout the universe halting, then what you posit would seem to be true, relative to that scenario. And it is interesting. In mine, the time stopper is part of the universe they’re in, and the instant they stop time, they too are frozen along with the rest of the 10^80 particles.

I’m just going all in for the scenario of “I’m gonna stop time and do all kinds of shit, or maybe just take a nap. Here… we… go—“

[ETERNALLY FROZEN UNIVERSE]

don,

Time is a measurement of change, and is inextricably linked to space, so stopping time stops change of any kind. You wouldn’t be able to move even so little as a falling speck of dust from its (now) absolute position in space. You wouldn’t be able to move, and consequently even breathe, since your diaphragm has to change position for respiration to happen (nevermind the fact that matter can no longer be moved anyway, so air is now fixed in place.) Stopping time stops you, completely.

But since we’re talking about imaginary powers, if I could stop time, I wouldn’t even bother with anything in this multiverse, I’d just walk over to explore a different one a few trillion multiverses away. After all, I’d get there in no time.

don,

Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, he would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.

don,

Post a tweet asking wtf you’re supposed to do w that information obviously

don,

pop pop goes the weasel, the weasel pop goes the weasel cuz the weasel goes pop

Terms of Service (media.kbin.social)

alt text(parodical) YouTube popup: Going to pee during the ad break violates YouTube’s Terms of Service - It looks like you selfishly left the room while our ads were playing. Don’t you know that by watching youtube you entered a CONTRACT?! - We killed the competition by operating at a loss for a decade. We paid good money...

don, (edited )

Oh holy fuck there’s a post floating around the lemmies about Sony basically patenting this idea, and the patent artwork shows a guy standing with his hands raised over his head and saying “McDonald’s” in order to speed up an ad holy raging badgerfuck

Edit: found the link to the article

fortune.com/…/sony-patent-is-hilarious-terrifying…

don,

LMAO

don,

They do, homie, they fuckin do. Errrrrrbody in this section smokin that pro-moon flav-r-ade tho. you can’t trust no one bro

don,

Hmmm. I may have you lot wrong, now that I think about it.

Freedom for Knopperistan! Down with time-based oppression!

don,

fukkin figures u ppl would cry about chronological reeducation we dont need ur kind in this subdimension

don,

So you met a cow and got a new car and a haircut for your troubles. Not bad at all!

deleted_by_author

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  • don,

    tarries use weed as a trap to draw you in, don’t be fooled

    don,

    Gotta be the onions, no one gives a fuck about fuck.

    don,

    You wanna get a died, people? Because 👆 this is how you get a died.

    don,

    It’s extremely common knowledge that liarbrals and dummiecraps have higher survival rates due to all the satanerizificating they do.

    don,

    Now, I know we not out here in this day an age not only discriminatin against caffeinated drinks of lowered emotional states, but also proudly posting photographic evidence of said bigotry on social media. Y’all really need to do better smfh

    don,

    I’m guessing it’s clickbait, there’s no mention of what the legos had to do with it.

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