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flicker, to memes in Happy Holidays

I'm white. I have blue eyes. And when I was young, my hair was red. I was working retail, and this old lady said "Merry Christmas."

Me: "Happy Holidays!"

Her: "It's Merry Christmas. I know your boss doesn't like it, but you should say it to me. So Merry Christmas."

Me: "Are you Christian?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Well, I'm not. So Happy Holidays."

She got so stunned, like I'd slapped her. I was quite ready to get called in for being some kind of way with a customer but I guess she was too afraid of dealing with a heathen. Still, if you've ever worked retail, you'd know why this felt like a victory.

flicker, to memes in Trust me bro it's 100% true

Back in the dark times when I was an admin for a very popular website, some very hateful nazis were sharing images of a dead Jewish child and laughing and claimed to be literally jerking off to the image. They claimed she was 9.

So yknow. Not in a hurry to see pics. Just want a trusted source to verify that they exist.

flicker, (edited ) to lemmyshitpost in It's like everyday

I just wanted to say these comments are off the chain. This is how the internet used to be- just people chatting, making jokes and telling stories.

I didn't know how much I missed it.

flicker, to memes in What nice vibes

"Some reason"

The reason being that anyone who has siblings and watched that commercial thought they acted like lovers, not siblings.

flicker, to memes in Hurt like me.

This is just The Game for kids.

I guess I'm a Boomer now.

flicker, to science_memes in Gobble gobble

Because this is Lemmy and we like anecdotes here, I have one for ya.

A couple years ago, during one of my many attempts to get fit, I went for a walk. At some point between my venturing forth and returning home, a wild turkey had come between me and my home.

I think it was female but I have no idea. The point here is, they're pretty big in person, and I had to decide as I was walking toward it... if the turkey didn't move? What if it charged me? What if it was aggressive, like a goose? I was stunned how unprepared I was to deal with this wild animal that I had apparently been living near for most of my life.

Anyways, long story short, I decided I could take a turkey in a fight. The turkey seemed to know that I had come to that decision, because as soon as I prepared myself to kick a turkey, it got out of my way.

The lesson here is, turkeys read minds, and as soon as you're sure you can defeat the turkey, it will allow you to proceed unmolested.*

*Just my opinion. Don't sue me if you lose a fight against a turkey. Also, if you lose a fight against a turkey, that just proves you didn't believe in yourself hard enough.

flicker, (edited ) to memes in Inspired

Now we called them demotivationals because they were made in reaction to motivationals, which were all the rage in Shelbyville. And one demotivational was worth ten motivationals. 'Gimme one for the ten,' you'd say, and you would post your motivationals so the wizards of memes could photoshop them, or you might say "shop." Which was the style at the time.

You could always tell a shop from some of the pixels, or from seeing quite a few shops in your time. Whichever was easier.

(I put way more effort into this than it called for.)

flicker, to memes in I always have both too many and not enough friends smh

Boundaries are good and healthy.

flicker, to memes in Deal or no deal?

I explained to my cat before his surgery that if he didn't stay a little boy forever, his instincts would drive him to leave home and the life of constant play and treats and being allowed to sleep under the covers with me at night, and he would murder and pillage every creature in the neighborhood and would be an ecological disaster instead of my cute fuzzy boy.

I took his purrs and headbonks as consent. Years later he still seems happy with his lot.

flicker, to lemmybewholesome in Self love

For the naysayers; I used to do this as a kid, because there were 6 people (minimum) to say goodnight to, and I was told it was impolite to miss "anyone." And I'm someone, too.

I'm in my late 30s and every once in a while I'll say goodnight to whoever is in my room (even if it's just my cat) and then goodnight to me.

flicker, to comicstrips in An endless and hellish cycle [Extra Fabulous]

I took care of a lady with kidney failure for a while and when she skipped dialysis, lemme fuckin tell ya, she knew.

The toxic shit the kidney works on really feels toxic once it stops!

flicker, to memes in Deep

The thing about this is, you're saying you have a small dick, but this is big dick energy for real.

Maybe someone needs to come up with a better name for it because it's a very real phenomenon and most of us know exactly what it's referring to.

flicker, to upliftingnews in Henry Kissinger, America’s Most Notorious War Criminal, Dies At 100

Oh my God!

itshappening.gif

flicker, (edited ) to memes in What nice vibes

It's so weird. It plays more like they're in a relationship but they both have a sibling incest kink!

Actually if you watch it with that in mind it's weirdly wholesome. You do you, freaks. Glad you found each other.

...now off to call my boyfriend "bro" and see what happens.

E: I said, "I'm gonna take a nap, bro," and he looked confused and told me that was a good idea (since we have Pathfinder later). Guess it's not his thing!

flicker, to risa in Cope

Stamets, it's not like you to let the trolls get to you. I noticed yesterday but didn't feel like you'd appreciate that from a near stranger but it's even worse today.

You good, friend?

(Addendum for any reader; I know that culturally, pet names are seen as insulting in other parts of the world, but in my line of work and my part of the country, I had to delete like 10 "sugar," "honey," "darlin" and "love"s. Please keep in mind that it's meant well if you see someone like me slip up in the future.)

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