harmonea

harmonea, 1 year ago

I have a clone recipe for Chili's chicken enchilada soup that I love making. Don't do it often though as it's like 50% cheese....

harmonea, 1 year ago

It's a slow and difficult process, but yes. There are certain personality disorders that can be provably put into "remission," and if people with conditions that severe can change their personalities, anyone can.

You have to learn how you've been conditioned to think and feel the way you do, and get a lot of self-discipline re: stopping to notice your feelings, figure out why they're arising, think through the consequences of acting on them, and choosing a better way.

I hate to use terms like this since they're so often the territory of conspiracy nutjobs, but you're basically deprogramming yourself. For example, a sensitive person who's been exposed to a lot of bullying might have learned some pretty intense defensive reaction, so you'd have to stop every time you think "what did he mean by that?" and think of why that's your first reaction, then choose to believe the best possible meaning even though your feelings scream at you not to. And you'd maybe keep a journal to remind yourself of all the times you were right to assume the best, since a defensive mind discards the positive and overemphasizes the negative.

This sort of thing is best accomplished with the aid of a mental health professional, but there are workbooks you can get if that's out of cost/feasibility reach for you. You'd need to know your deal to know which ones to focus on.

harmonea, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

I haven't looked into the benefits of electroshock with BPD, but I'd recommend taking a look at Dr. Daniel Fox's workbook for an at-home DBT/attachment theory foucsed program. BPD is one of the few PDs that has been provably shown to be able to change. If you have $30 or so to spare, it can't hurt.

harmonea, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

"Ginger" as a term is not, in itself, derogatory or hateful in my experience.

Describing gingers as soulless or hot-tempered is about the same kind of destructive as describing blondes as stupid, which is to say it's a silly stereotype that's often the territory of playful insults between friends, while some small minority of people do run it into the ground and cause real hurt.

(This might be exacerbated by tensions between England and Ireland in that specific area, but... for most of the world "ginger" is a pretty harmless thing.)

harmonea, 1 year ago

I feel like you're describing a pretty EU point of view here. Which is fine!

But please understand that across the pond, we've been mixing people of various descents for so long that "white" is honestly the best descriptor many of us have. I allegedly have 5 different EU countries in my lineage and ain't nobody got time to get into all that, especially when my ancestry isn't interesting enough for me to know, let alone for me to inflict on others. Those details are just not that important to who I am today, whereas the experience I had over here because of my skin color had more sway over who I am now.

harmonea, 1 year ago

Do you think maybe being from "one of the whitest states" is why the people you know still track their descent so carefully? I've lived all over North America, and your experience definitely doesn't match up with anywhere I've lived. Which is not to invalidate your experience, but I would strongly caution you against assuming it's the norm. Most people I knew when I was still in the US pretty much settled on a color or just plain "American" for anything past about the third generation.

Using a color descriptor like "white" or "black" isn't inherently racist for those who don't care so much about which boats all our very distant relatives were on hundreds of years ago, and it definitely doesn't preclude empathy for those who are different from us.

harmonea, 1 year ago

Do you not know that actual news clips from actual news outfits get posted on youtube sometimes

harmonea, 1 year ago

People see it as a way to spread awareness about the fediverse alternatives that are out there. Like "hey, if you like this, there's more where that came from." It's not for viewers who are already here, but for those where the post inevitably travels.

I dunno. Both watermarking and being annoyed at the watermarks seem like a waste of energy to me. If people are going to generate content, I'm not going to sass them about how unless it makes something about the content worse (harder to read etc).

harmonea, 1 year ago

Ah yes, your city must be under "this" size for introverts to be allowed. I always forget about that law.

harmonea, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

The guy implied that enjoying time alone at home is wrong. Introverts enjoy time alone at home. I didn't say introverts only enjoy time alone at home, and I'm not doing this thing where I need a dozen disclaimers proving I really do know what the words I used mean every time I want to make a one-line quip.

Also why are y'all assuming she moved to NYC on purpose? Can no one just be from there originally and move from a roommate arrangement to a studio? Please lol

harmonea, 1 year ago

So I think super like is misleading

It's literally not. Over here, on top of the "repost to your profile under your boosts section" functionality it's intended to have, it also counts as 2x rep for the poster. It really, truly is also a "super-like."

harmonea, 1 year ago

The presence or absence of that single word doesn't change the fact that nothing OP said was wrong eh ;P

harmonea, 1 year ago

See, the problem here is that you're treating an off-the-cuff casual explanation as a "thesis." Please don't bring this absurd habit over here, where people have to feel compelled to cover absolutely every interpretation and hedge every outlier for fear of getting nitpicked to hell and back. Literally no one enjoyed that environment.

harmonea, 1 year ago

I think it's done more good than harm and don't want to see them anonymized again... but I do have to say I've found myself withholding a downvote that I think was completely justifiable and deserved because I didn't want to be the first and only one and get shit for it.

harmonea, 1 year ago

Everyone has a bad day now and then. It sounds like a lot is eating at you. You might be dealing with more than your fair share people who haven't gotten the help they need to learn why they're twats and how it hurts them and everyone around them. I know I was a worse person until I figured out how I got the way I was a few years ago; it took me til the back half of the 30s to start to be better.

I hope you find some peace for yourself.

harmonea, 1 year ago

People are individuals, all going through their own journeys. You might grow and change for the better if you're able to figure out how to be the best you, or you might change for the worse if made bitter by a life where it feels like no one is on your side and you have to take your due since it will never be given.

The important thing is: (1) People are twats for a reason, and (2) You can't fix those reasons for other people and make them less twatty, so the only thing you can control is how you handle less than ideal interactions. (Tip: most well-adjusted people don't jump to "lose hope in humanity"; the fact that you have means there's work you can do here.)

harmonea, 1 year ago

Firefly, short (sadly) and never not fun

First 5 seasons of Supernatural, when they had a story to tell and not an IP to milk

Last 3~4 seasons of Deep Space Nine, after the focus shifted from the soap opera to the war

Fate/Zero and Unlimited Blade Works, often as familiar background noise when I'm not able to 100% pay attention, like a security blanket

Persona 5, faster than a replay of the game and the main character actually gets to talk

harmonea, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

I was trying to run my own personal-use instance of LiveJournal back 20 years ago when it was open source (and not owned by Russia). Just to see if I could, as is the spirit of a tinkerer.

There was a handful of paid staff as well as a bunch of enthusiastic volunteers, so I expected one of them to answer a low-priority newbie support request, not.. what I got.

harmonea, 1 year ago

Some people in the world are just dicks, but that doesn’t mean we should reject interacting with everyone.

Corollary: Your personal aversion to corporations doesn't mean users have have any motivation or obligation to keep trying when we're getting pushback from both the software and those who maintain it.

Anyway, I'm not sure how you got that I reject interacting with everyone after my experience, but extrapolating my statement to that kind of extreme phrasing sure doesn't fill me with confidence about future interactions, either.

harmonea, 1 year ago

I still can't really agree that the comparison holds; we try harder in real life because the bar for being a dick is (usually) higher. On the internet, when all it takes is a few easy sentences to be a dick to a faceless stranger whose reaction we don't have to see... to me, the response should be equally fluid, else we get bogged down being the only one putting in the effort and taking a constant beating to our self-esteem when we wonder why no one is bothering to hear us.

However, I appreciate you being chill about clearing up what you meant. I did initially miss the comparison you were going for and feel like I was getting cereal box therapy about not cutting people off (and thus staying in toxic communities) when that wasn't what you meant.

Cheers back.

harmonea, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

That's absolutely the worst help forum experience, when you're asking one question but everyone extrapolates the question they think you REALLY meant to ask and talks down to you about it.

And of course if you try to steer the conversation back to your actual question, you get painted as the unreasonable one placing all sorts of conditions on the generous free help others are allowed to bestow upon you.

The less reliance on others Linux requires, the better off it will be for general adoption.

harmonea, 1 year ago

You're not wrong, but running Linux directly correlates to more time spent on "tech forums in general," so it's still a bigger problem with that OS than others imo.

harmonea, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

I got tired of everything taking so much effort. I was almost always able to eventually wrangle what I wanted out of the OS, but every change I wanted to make and thing I wanted to try needed so much searching and learning. I wanted stuff that just worked, even if it was "dumber."

That, and some parts of the community I ran into were really prickly. One that was especially memorable: I was asking for help on a big-ish project with a lot of followers and helpers and didn't expect the lead dev to answer my question, but when he did, he felt the need to make a snide as hell comment about how I have no business being there if I'm going to forget to start a service. On top of the exhaustion I was already feeling, I had a massive moment of "okay my guy, I guess I'll just fucking leave then."

Anyway, it just feels better being a poweruser on windows. I know enough to keep it clean, safe, and slim (like using powershell to disable the bits they don't expose to a settings UI, for example) -- to truly admin my machine -- without having to work so hard for it day in and day out.

harmonea, 1 year ago

What conditions are you imagining in which a donor is living but not aware of specifically who would be receiving the organ before agreeing? Tests need to be done to ensure compatibility, and a kidney is a lot to ask and probably wouldn't be agreed to unless it helps a loved one.

I feel like this is a strange premise whose goal is trying to try to move the line little by little until people are willing to say they're a little bit racist/sexist. Or until people are willing to admit they don't think others should have control over decisions made about their bodies. Be honest about your ends here instead of dreaming up fictions that make so little sense the answers are unproductive.

harmonea, 1 year ago

There's this amazing chicken enchilada soup I've had whose ingredients include a whole pack of this stuff (specifically in Velveeta form, but it's the same stuff). Best damn soup I've ever tasted.